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About Entoo

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  1. Depression is

    Someone told me that they didn't understand depression, so I've been trying to think of a way to describe it. People think that depression is something that you can just get over, because they equate it to sadness. Depression is not sadness. Everyone experiences sadness and does in fact eventually get over it. Depression is like a disease. It's an infection in the mind that can never truly be eradicated. Sadness is merely a fuel for it to spread. Even when you are not sad, depression claws at you. It pushes and digs and searches for ways to spread its black, corrupting tendrils through your thoughts. The more it manages to infect, the stronger it becomes. It strangles your desires and motivations, seeking to isolate you from what you used to find joy in. It whispers and twists your thoughts until you believe that the people who care about you no longer do. It props up a mirror before you that only shows your faults, flaws, and regrets and magnifies them. It taps into your anger as an accelerant, attempting to make you lash out and isolate yourself further. Depressed people fight this virus constantly. There is no cure. Only through willpower and support from loved ones can you force it into recession, where it continues to scratch and search for a new opening. How do you describe it?
  2. In my depression, my behavior becomes very Office Space. "That will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired." To keep breathing is sometimes all I can do. I find that I need other people to count on me to get motivated, like kids or a friend. Maybe have someone you have to be accountable to, even just to get up at a better time.
  3. I have a married friend that has been beaten and emotionally abused by her husband for years. He controls everything in her life. She hides the fact that she talks to me because he doesn't want her to talk to anyone. She is terrified of him and on the verge of suicide. I have been encouraging her to leave him and report his abuse to the police, but she is too scared and so conditioned that she believes she deserves it. I can't stand to see her in this situation, but don't know how to help. How do you convince an abused woman to stand up for herself?
  4. Stay safe.

    Ha. Enough words were said. That person is currently enjoying being the only one on my blocked list. The joys of technology.
  5. Stay safe.

    I just have a different set of problems. We all do.
  6. Stay safe.

    I hope you find one, Teddy. I'm done with looking.
  7. Stay safe.

    @Teddy545 Recently and throughout my life. My experience says otherwise. And yes it was.
  8. Stay safe.

    That's unfortunate, but better than if they manage to get close first and gain your confidence. Then they can cut deeper.
  9. Stay safe.

    @Teddy545 Ever heard the phrase "stabbed in the back"? When people purposefully try to hurt you with their words and deeds.
  10. Stay safe.

    @Teddy545 A small blade. Used to assassinate and pierce vulnerable spots in armor.
  11. Stay safe.

    @Teddy545 I don't mess with a dagger. I carry a torch to burn the bridge and be done with it.
  12. Stay safe.

    Everyone has their hidden dagger, no matter how pleasant their mask might be. Best of luck avoiding it.
  13. Stay safe.

    Think twice before letting someone get close. Usually just means they do more damage when they inevitably strike. That is all.
  14. The scene I mentioned. Love was able to drive evil out of Harry. It was love for my kids that forced the suicidal thoughts from me.
  15. What's wrong with me?

    You've had a horrible childhood and I'm so sorry for you. No child should have to suffer that. That wasn't love with your boyfriend. It was only an infatuation to someone that showed you attention. Believe me, I know when it is hard to find friends and how much happiness it gives for anyone to talk to you. But that is a very dangerous feeling. There are many men who prey on lonely girls. Take it slow and don't let yourself be enthralled by anyone who smiles at you. If it seems like they are more concerned with what you can do for them, that is a big red flag. Someone who genuinely cares about you will always put you first. They will want to make you happy just to see you smile. They will never push you into anything you don't want to do. Love isn't something that happens instantly, or after a few dates, or even after months or years. Love is built together when you see someone at their best and worst, and still would put them before the world. It takes time because people change. You will not truly know someone's heart until you've spent years by their side. And you will find someone who loves you. The rage would be tied to the abuse that still hurts you. You will have to find a way to make peace with your past. What did your therapists suggest?