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About morecoffee

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  1. Is there a bar/club scene in your town? Do you have a wingman you can go there with on a fri/sat night? If you're just looking for dating/sexual experience then the good old fashioned bar scene way is still a strong option. Lots of alcohol, loud music, dumb conversation and making out...never goes out of style. Sigh...those were the days...
  2. comparing myself to others

    Regarding your job search, if you're looking to work as a researcher, clinician, coordinator, analyst, lecturer, manager, etc., you NEED a graduate degree to be competitive. You need at least a Masters degree, preferably a PhD, but at least a Masters. On top of that, you probably need some internships, or a fellowship. You might also have to move to find a job in your field. There are a lot of things you want to fix about yourself, but first, you need to fix the foundation of your life - your ability to be self-sufficient. I think getting your license, and going back to school are the most important things you can do at this time. After you are making enough money to provide for yourself, start looking at other issues you need to overcome.
  3. I need advice please read

    Hi Navitl, I really feel for you. My sister won't let me or anyone from my family see her FIVE children. My parents were nothing but kind and generous to her, watched her kids while she was in school and while she worked, bought them toys, practically raised them. One day about a year ago, my sister and my father got into an argument. My sister said because of this, none of my family could see her or her kids, again. She has not let us see or speak with them since then. This has crushed my family more than words can even describe. My mother fell into a deep depression and was even suicidal for a bit. It nearly tore apart our family. But my sister is cruel, and delusional, and truly an abuser for preventing her own children from seeing those who love them. Using her own children as emotional weapons. Who does this? A psychopath, a sociopath, maybe. Point being, you are not alone in this. There are others out there who did nothing wrong, going through this. The truth always reveals itself, and it will, with your sister. Her children will seek you out eventually, and you will tell them this was not your choice. This alienation will come to an end someday, but until then, I'm sorry you have to carry the weight of such heartache. You will have to try and move on. I'm sorry that you also have a cruel human being for a sibling, as I do. The truth will come out, be patient.
  4. This is not true. My husband was 35 when we met, and he had just finished college! He didn't make great money or anything, but fast forward to now, he's doing great. I think you can meet a great partner at any age. It depends on the state you live in (like I hear Utah is a pretty terrible singles scene for 30-40 something's), but if you're in a major east or west coast state then you can definitely meet lots of great single people your age. Never too late for a career, and it doesn't necessarily have to be something you love. I don't love what I do but I love making my family happy and it pays the way to do that. Lots of people don't love what they do but love what they do with the money they make.
  5. Sorry for typos, old iPhone and too tired to make corrections
  6. I know all about how hard it is to make ends meet in an expensive city. I've only ever paid rent in Los Angeles and now the Bay Area, CA so I don't even know what's humane rental situation is like. But it CAN be done...i think moving out can really improve ones confidence and self esteem too and be a motivator to get a better job, find a career path etc. agree with LF, women won't want you for your money unless your making like what duck claims to make and even then those a trashy women and not as common as you'd think. I know a lot of crazy women but only one or two are real gold diggers.
  7. Speaking of nurse, a friend of mine was a drug addict and homeless at 28, almost died and went to rehab and then went to school and became a nurse. He's 37 now and makes like 85k a year and has a hot wife!
  8. No no I don't agree with their whole post. Most of the time I only have like 1 minute or less to write responses on here because I'm either at work with my boss looming over my shoulder or I'm looking after a baby. But I agree that there are things u could do to become s better dating candidate, one of them being go back to school, or get your own place etc. not because women are shallow but because as adults we're expected to be self sufficient. Also women who are looking to have kids think about how much that partner will contribute to the household and the costs to raise a child. Its not a romantic reality but it's completely logical. Since you're new to dating you aren't thinking about these things, but lots of people in your age range are.
  9. Perhaps tact isn't your strong point but I do agree with you.
  10. Your undergraduate university is really not as important as your graduate university. To become a lecturer, you will need at least a Masters and possibly a PhD. Why don't you just apply to a better university for your Masters? You will also need experience in your field, maybe as a historian, librarian, museum employee, or something to that effect. Also, not EVERY lecturer came from a great university. I work at a public university and I work with professors every single day. I can tell you that MANY of them studied at universities I've never heard of before. It was their experience in the field, or previous teaching positions that made them a good candidate. Going to a great university for a BA degree is only really meaningful if the buck stops there. Say for maybe an engineering, or architecture degree.
  11. Duck I would like your investment advice! I will pm you later. Sorry to hear it didn't work out with Joanna, lol.
  12. I once had a valentines date run to the bathroom, and then come out and say he had a family emergency - and it turned out he was going on ANOTHER valentine's date with his FIRST pick who got back to him! How do I know this? Well I'm not a moron for one thing and I knew it as soon as he said he had to go, and then he also confirmed it a few months later when he asked me out again and he admitted what happened. Of course I told him to f**k off. So anyway, you're NOT the only one who gets ghosted, rejected, disappointed, etc...that IS essentially dating in a nutshell, sadly. However, EVENTUALLY you will meet someone who you will end up dating and there will be a mutual attraction, commitment, etc. So I agree with the above poster, don't give up.
  13. Awww I'm sorry it didn't work out. At least she was honest with you! I think she deserves a response; she was trying not to waste your time. This is super common in dating, and in fact, MOST people on dates don't end up together. It's really a long arduous and very tiresome game to find a companion, it f**king sucks. But when you do, it will have been worthwhile. I know it doesn't seem that way now though, but you'll see. And agreed, dinner is expensive! Stick to coffee shops for first "meet".
  14. If she just wanted a free meal, she would not have showed interest and asked you questions, or indicated she wanted to see you again. Trust me. There are a lot more expectations on subsequent dates (maybe a first kiss, or more personal details) that make it not worth a free meal. Now if it were like a really desirable concert ticket or something, maybe. But it sounds like this girl is interested and these other people giving you advice don't know what they're talking about. I don't think your response was too weak. I think if she likes you, it doesn't even matter. If she's interested, she's now waiting for you to elaborate on WHEN you should do it again sometime. Women know in the first five minutes of meeting someone if she's attracted and there's chemistry. If she isn't interested, no response is going to make her interested. If she is interested, it doesn't really matter if you reel her in slow or fast, she's on the hook. I would ask her "If you don't have plans, would you like to see ______ movie this weekend?". And so what is she's using you for attention. Aren't we all sort of using each other for attention? Isn't that a little bit what dating is? Don't over-analyze it and focus on enjoying the moment.
  15. I actually am losing weight on Effexor! I was on zoloft for a couple years and gained 15 lbs (normally my weight is very stable), even with every day exercise the weight would not budge. After I had my son 8 months ago I switched to Effexor and the baby weight came off super fast. It's stabilized now, but I have no doubt that if I stayed on zoloft the weight would have stayed too.