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About morecoffee

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  1. morecoffee

    ex abusive relationship help

    Abusive relationships are even harder to get over because you feel like you never really "won" that person's heart, so you repeat over and over in your head why you weren't good enough or why they "changed" for their new partner or whatever. It can take a long time to get over an abusive relationship, and you may never fully recover from it. It will be a weak spot in your mind for many years. I was in an abusive relationship for 5 years and it took honestly about 3 years to really feel "moved on" from it. Even now though if I think of him and wonder how he's doing, I can feel myself getting upset. So I just don't let my mind wander there.
  2. I don't understand why your wife would expect you to entertain or provide companionship during your work hours. It doesn't matter that she finished her work. If you're still working then it's your responsibility as an employee and adult to finish your work. There have been times in the past when my husband worked from home and it never, ever occurred to me that he should stop working, fail to meet deadlines/expectations and hang out with me instead. I think your wife needs to read up on dependency issues and see how she can address her neediness with friends/hobbies/educational interests.
  3. morecoffee

    I dont like myself and I feel guilty about it

    I don't address it in therapy. I don't have therapy, although I wish I did. I work full time and have a 15 month old baby to take care of the minute I get out of work. No family nearby to help. If I ever did really, really need therapy I would make it happen though.
  4. morecoffee

    I dont like myself and I feel guilty about it

    Yes, I hate my appearance as well. For a long time I thought no guy would really commit to me because of it. I ended up getting married somehow (to a pretty good looking guy nonetheless) and I still don't understand how my husband looks past all my glaring physical imperfections. I always feel like I have to overcompensate for my perceived physical flaws by contributing in other ways, like taking on most of the household chores, constantly trying to look nice, be warm and funny, become successful in career, etc. I worry that if I stop doing these things I'll become totally useless.
  5. morecoffee

    Depression & Work Forum?

    If you're trying to work for a university, you might want to start with a position you're slightly overqualified for, like something administrative or customer service-based. And also play up your resume to focus on your administrative and customer service skills. There is also an element of age-discrimination in university admin hires, so you might want to limit your resume to only the last 10 years and not list the years you graduated from college/grad school. After you're hired and you work an admin position for a couple years, you're much more desirable for other positions because your familiar with the university software and polices/processes which take forever to train, so they would rather promote internally if possible. Some positions you might want to look into...student advisor, program manager/analyst/coordinator...etc.
  6. If you seriously think "I want to become famous" is enough for you to succeed as the creator of a major animated series, then stick with government work. It's clear that you don't fully comprehend the extraordinary skillset, passion and perseverance required to become a leader in animation. Animators who work for major studios like Disney, Pixar, and Nickelodeon work their assess off as interns and contractors only AFTER they've built seriously impressive portfolios for themselves, on their own time, usually over years. Once they get a toe in the door as a sh*t paid contractor with zero benefits, they begin the grueling competitive process of proving their value and working their way up over the course of years to become an associate animator or illustrator in the company, if they're very lucky. Only then can they even consider applying for a senior or lead position, or even having the street credibility and portfolio to start their own studio. You think all these people are being driven by a desire for "fame"? No, no, no. Ha! They have to love what they do, not just love, but eat, drink, breathe and sweat what they do. If you don't feel that way about animation, and you aren't willing to put in the work, then you might want to consider a different career path. I also work in government. My husband works in your field at a major studio, and I have many friends in major studios and I wouldn't trade positions with any of them. The workload and pressure on their shoulders is enough to drive anyone into a nervous breakdown, but what keeps them going is their passion for the art. If you don't have that passion then that's not your calling.
  7. morecoffee

    Dating An Unavailable Guy!

    I know this isn't what you want to hear, but you need to dump this guy. His behavior isn' ttemporary, it isn't him 'figuring things out' or being 'scared of love' or any of the other bs you'll read online. It's all bs. Even if somehow you and this guy end up married or something, he will STILL be this way. And then you'll be stuck with him and his bullsh*t. Imagine you have kids and this dude is just like off doing his thing, ignoring your calls... This isn't a guy who's gonna step up. You deserve better.
  8. morecoffee

    Prozac causing Anger and Irritability

    I'm currently on this medication, also on 20 mg. I was feeling the same way, so tired, sad and irritable, disoriented. I almost threw in the towel, but then read that some people take it at night. I started doing that (and to my surprise slept way deeper) and my daily tiredness mostly went away and the irritability is also vastly reduced. Before upping to 40 mg, you may want to see if your daughter responds better to taking it at night before bed.
  9. I'm so sorry to hear about the university's reaction to you failing a class - geez!! Although there are definitely majors where at least a 3.0 GPA is required and dropping below that will put you on probation or worse. Depending on what country you're in and the university you're attending, you may be able to petition to have your F changed to a W for health reasons. However, you will likely need to provide documentation (such as a doctor's note) deatiling the severity of the issue that caused the decline in academic performance. Your parents will get over it. And frankly, maybe this wake up call will help them realize that depression is not a joke or a myth. A depressed teen or college student is especially at risk for suicidal tendencies and your parents should be doing everything in their power to support you and provide you with the resources you need to get through rough patches. Maybe you can even show them some materials about depression among college students, or have a university counselor speak with them about it. You will get through it. Good luck with your parents, I hope they offer you love and support.
  10. morecoffee

    what wrong with me

    Okay so I have a baby...and ever since he was born (he's 10 months now) I haven't had time to do ANYTHING that takes longer than 20 minutes. If I'm not working, I'm carrying, watching, feeding or playing with him. I go to bed at 8pm because he wakes up all night and it's the only way to get enough sleep. If any of my friends were to say "hey ever since you had a baby you've been distant", I'd be like dude are you fu**in kidding me. If you want to hang out so bad then come over, take this baby off my hands and let me watch TV for like 1 hour, for the love of god. Having a baby is no joke and it isn't like your friend is having a ball with some other friends. He's exhausted. Why don't you go over and help him? Then you guys can hang out.
  11. Yeah I agree with JD. Also, you can totally still change your personality. It sucks to have to do that, but you can do it over time. I used to be extremely shy and timid. At some point I began "faking" being funny and outgoing and now many people think of me as an extrovert, even though on the inside I'm pretty much the same timid child I was.
  12. morecoffee

    To those who don't mind saying.

    I'm pretty sure my male coworker is anorexic. I never see him eating, and he doesn't eat at any of our work functions. I have only ever seen him drink water. He is definitely under 100 lbs. You're not alone. Eating disorders aren't as common among men, but it's out there.
  13. I think that most times yes, people end up with someone more or less on their "level", although there are absolutely exceptions. My sister is an attorney dating a recovering illegal drug addict who has no college degree and possibly no job. It didn't work with the doctor because he would not really commit to me. He wouldn't tell his parents about me, and it just didn't seem like he saw long term potential. He said it was because he was jewish and I wasn't, but I didn't believe him. I was so incredibly attracted to the loser band guy, I don't know why. He was short, balding, really scrawny, and tbh wasn't that great in the sack. But I was obsessed. I don't know why. He wouldn't commit to me either.
  14. I agree it's great that you're motivated! I also want to say though that this logic is flawed. A woman who works with doctors does not expect to end up with a doctor or someone who makes a similar income! I have worked with people who make a lot of money and that never set the standard for my ideal guy. I actually dated a doctor and then the guy I dated after him was some loser band guy who didn't even have a job. Made no difference to me.
  15. morecoffee

    Faking it

    Can you provide some more details and context?