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Everything posted by PraiseBrownies

  1. Forgiveness versus Justice. I talked to my parents about what happened with Nyla. They told me that they'd help me if I chose to say something. But... I don't know if I should. I wish Nyla were here and could tell me what she wanted. Would she forgive him? Would she want me to make sure he can't hurt anyone else? Would she want me to report him or not? This is so hard. I'm not used to these kinda ethical decisions, y'know? I can't imagine dealing with all this heavy stuff every day like you guys do or Nyla did. Must take a lot of strength. -Skye
  2. That's the problem. Well, first off- I no longer live in Nyla's area. Haven't for a few years. Might have a bit of trouble making any kind of report, probably would have to get her parents involved. Second, seeing as she's... Well, dead, there's nothing beyond a series of entries in her journals and message logs between the two on her phone and cloud storage. I guess I should speak to my parents about this but I honestly don't know where to go with this. I didn't realize the abuse was that bad and I want her ex to face justice, but at the same time I'm not exactly in the mood to ruin someone's life with a dead girl's account. Plus the whole thing is gray- there was no force, she was coerced and pressured into consenting. I don't know if its worth reporting, if it'll go anywhere. -Skye
  3. Pissed. I'm so... So f*cking mad. I was doing okay. Its been a month since Nyla died, I'd gently moved on, everything was okay! And then suddenly out of the blue I found out the real reason she ended her life. Her ex not only abused her, he... Sexually assaulted her. Repeatedly. I don't know what to do. I don't know. Do I tell her parents? His parents? What do I do? My best friend died because some POS human being took advantage of her. Should I be mad? Should I not do anything? -Skye
  4. Honestly, I was worried that losing Nyla would drag me down, but I'm okay. It's been a few weeks and... I'm okay. I know she wouldn't want me to be buried in grief. I guess this is the point where I'm super thankful for my support systems. For my parents and my boyfriend and my friends... It's true what they say, that good people keep you going. Makes me wish Nyla had that too. -Skye
  5. Recovering after losing Nyla. Tomorrow it'll be two weeks since she left. I... hope she's found some peace. And that everyone who hurt her... gets what they deserve, I guess. I keep seeing her in my dreams- it's the same one every night. We'll be little girls again like when we met, just playing. Then we sit down and she smiles at me and suddenly we're our current ages. Every night the conversation we have is different but she always seems happy. Sometimes I yell at her for going, sometimes I just cry in her arms, sometimes I talk with her like it's an ordinary day and she's alive. She always tells me before I wake up to be kind. I guess... you all can take those as her last words to all of you. Be kind. -Skye
  6. Thank you for your kindness. Looking back , it kind of feels like Nyla's life was a dark reprise of mine. I have a wonderful boyfriend I've known since I was young like she did before hers abandoned and hurt her. My parents are with me (though we're flying back tomorrow) and giving me love and care, while hers abused her. My friends back at home are also amazing and kind and wouldn't believe slander about anyone and they always reach out in times of darkness. I have so much support and love. I just wish Nyla had it too. She deserved it. -Skye
  7. It doesn't feel right of me but I'm looking through Nyla's messages since she gave me all her passwords. I'm calling old friends to see why nobody attended ber funeral yesterday. I'm angry. Her ex spread rumors that she was the abusive one and turned all her friends against her. She was completely alone. She called out for help posting goodbyes on social media and declarations of love. And nobody responded to her. Nobody asked if she was okay. Because they all thought she was a monster. -Skye
  8. Thank you for speaking up. I wasn't sure how to say that I was uncomfortable with all the confusion on Nyla's death announcement. Not the kind of thing you wish to be reading at a funeral. -Skye
  9. It is disappointing. Even those that have tried so hard to reach out for help- those with therapy and medications and psychiatrists- end up falling anyways. There's too much pain and we're taught to suck it up and cope rather than receive help. Seeing Nyla be lost because she was told to suck it up rather than receive the help and attention she needed makes me angry at how many others must feel this way. -Skye
  10. Her ex... Isn't a stranger. I've known him for the same 9 years that Nyla had. We all went to school together before I moved. I never... Thought he could do something like that. He never hit her, but he damaged her deeply. But if there's one thing my best friend deserves, its some sort of justice for her pain- I won't hurt anyone but I'll try my hardest to make those that hurt her see their wrongs.
  11. Also, if you guys have any info about her ex fiance, I'd love to know. I'm going through her posts on forums and on other servers and it seems like he abused her. I'm not gonna cause a scene at her funeral or anything but I do feel as if something is up and I don't want anyone to be hurt again. I'm guessing something happened and she just... It feels so sudden that I'm suspicious. She had an RP going on, a large tumblr project, and had seemingly bought some video games two days before her death. Something seems up.
  12. I'm angry at everyone that hurt her. I miss Nyla. -Skye
  13. I don't blame you for feeling this way. Loss leads to anger and with how much loss you have faced I can understand that it must be very painful. I'm no Nyla when it comes to empathy, but I know you must be hurting to have lost another friend. Allow yourself to be angry- just don't let it consume you.
  14. She was sweet- so much so. And honestly, I'm angry too. I'm angry that this girl I grew up with- we'd been friends since we were around 8- I'm angry that this girl who baked cookies every week for her friends and saved many of her friends' lives was hurt. I'm angry that this sweet, pretty, and honest person was abused and used for sex by that good-for-nothing guy that called himself her fiance- I had known this guy since we were kids too and I never saw it coming. I had never thought he would have wanted a trophy rather than a wife. I don't know how I'll avoid punching him in the face at the funeral. I'm angry that someone who had been pushed around to do the bidding of others was used and abused by those who were supposed to love and raise her. I'm angry that the friends I trusted to keep her safe after I moved away chose to bully her instead. I'm angry that someone with so much empathy and heart and compassion is being laid to rest with that stupid teddy bear her ex gave her when I bet anything she'd rather burn it. Actually, no- she would be too empathetic for the bear- she'd rather give it back to her fiance so he can remember how much he hurt her. She could be stubborn, and push herself too hard, and too straightforward and I'm sure somebody would've loved her for it. I loved her for it- she was my best friend. And now she's gone because the world destroyed her.
  15. She passed last Friday. I've been posting a little bit under her handle but I don't know if that's the right thing to do.
  16. I'm trying not to blame myself. I was the one who stopped responding to her a year or two ago and I'm trying not to blame myself for not keeping in touch with her.
  17. Forgive me for still using this account when Nyla herself isn't even able to use it anymore, but I guess extra support is a good thing in times like these. I miss her.
  18. So, um, hello. My name is Skye. I was a close friend of Nyla's long ago and she entrusted me with a lot of passwords. Nyla, or PraiseBrownies as you knew her is no longer with us. She told me within a note that she had been tired of being constantly abused by that stupid ex fiance of hers and her parents and tired of being bullied by her peers who blamed her for the abuse. Forgive me for my formality, to be truthful I don't know how to feel. I lost touch with her a year or two ago and now I'm suddenly attending her funeral (not literally right now). I'll answer any questions you may have.
  19. Sorry for being so spammy tonight. I just... Love you all and wish you the best. I'm so tired of everything. I called a crisis line and my friends and just... I give up. I love you guys. And I love a lot of other people. I'm sick of being broken and used. I'm sick of hurting others. I'm sick of being sick.
  20. Had a rough week so far but when you hit rock bottom one can only go up I think. Bought myself the Mass Effect trilogy and actually had fun with something for the first time in ages, so I'm feeling a little better. Gonna go home in an hour and play Mass Effect 1. Debating on if I should play games with my friends. The other night some were kinda bullying/harassing me and I'm not exactly up to dealing with it, but other days they can be absolutely fun and amazing.
  21. Doing okay. Was really angry earlier for no good reason but I'm calm now- just needed to talk it out. Pulled a mysterious foreign object out of my neck cyst and I'm uhhhh moderately concerned? I'm already on antibiotics and stuff for it so I hope it's just an effect of the medication...
  22. Bitter. Time with my father turned into a really exhausting and hypocritical argument. I won't go into details but I'll cite an example: Apparently since I can't list off every single extinct animal species off the top of my head, humanity has not had any role in animal extinctions. I've heard that the best way to distance yourself from someone problematic is to be as boring as possible to them so they can't use your emotions against you, I guess that's worth a shot.
  23. ACT was hilariously easy, think I did well. Went out for lunch, at a friend's house right now, and my father is taking my sister and I out bowling tonight. Everything would be almost perfect at this moment except my parents are fighting again but what else is new, I guess.
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