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PraiseBrownies

Advanced Member
  • Content Count

    325
  • Joined

  • Last visited

4 Followers

About PraiseBrownies

  • Rank
    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 08/21/2002

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    New Mexico, USA
  • Interests
    Baking, Writing, Drawing, Spending time with those I love.

Recent Profile Visitors

1,335 profile views
  1. Just had dinner, a huge spicy seafood bake i shared with 5 others. It was good, but a tiny but too spicy for me.
  2. I got some stuff together for my roleplay server, designed some characters, ate enough for once. Not productive physically but creatively, a lot was done. Good for me
  3. At this point half my personality is just me being conflicted. My head will flip back and forth from "my life sucks" and "I'm so blessed." Or it'll flip between "my parents are abusive i have to leave soon" to "what if i never leave what if they're not as bad as i think" I guess it's good that lots of people help snap me back to reality. The reality that it's tough and confusing and conflicting but I'm going to make it through okay. Right?
  4. Pretty decent. Saw Avengers Endgame for the second time. Had some good food today. I'm feeling a little nauseous since I get carsick but it'll pass. I get to eat sushi tomorrow too, it's my favorite. I'm just burned out from being outside and energetic for so long, but I don't feel bad by any means.
  5. Ate food and spent time with my little sister, not much done but overall a good day
  6. Depression about my awful home situation is back. No hopes of emancipation or change until I'm 18. It's close, just a year and two months, yet so depressingly far. My parents don't even trust me. I'm just seen as a burden. I'm too autistic to be normal but too normal for my parents to actually be kind to me. I'm emotionally mature and yet still act like a child who can't keep her movements in check. I know none of that is true per se, but it's just a repeating reality here.
  7. Watched youtube, tried to focus on a single task (like gaming or writing or drawing) but failed miserably.
  8. Turns out I was bullied a lot as a child but thanks to my permanent state of obliviousness I had no idea. Last night my fiance was talking about how he and all my other childhood friends had to fight a bunch of people when we were younger who were making fun of me and i just went "huh????" He then informed me i was a prime bullying target and I had no idea. I found it utterly hilarious. Is that weird?
  9. Some fruit turnovers my coworkers and I made at work today while we were testing out recipes.
  10. Individually tagging all of you and providing comfort is too much for my brain to handle, so virtual hugs for all of you right now instead. I had a really good day at work, but I came home and just didn't want to talk to anyone, not even my fiance or my little sister, the people I love most. Kind of socially burned out, I guess. Still feeling it, but I feel like I should be more active here so I'm typing out a post. Depressing hecking sucks. It just drains everything out of you. I don't even have anything to be bothered or sad about. Maybe I'm still trying to recover from the meltdown I had the past weekend. I don't know.
  11. I'm not really sure how I feel. I had a fantastic day at my internship and I got to see my fiance today. But my fiance and I made the poor decision of sex instead of giving each other emotional support that we really needed due to the past few days being terrible for both of us. So I'm sore, and feel kind of empty and still depressed, but it wasn't all awful since my day was decent and the sex wasn't bad or anything. I guess I feel... empty? Kind of numb? Hello depression, welcome back, stay for a while since you always do. You'd think that with me working towards my dream career path and having a wonderful fiance and being on summer break that I'd actually be doing great. I'm not. I almost feel guilty about it.
  12. I'm okay. Doing better than yesterday, still alive. I love my fiance. He's keeping me stable enough and helping me fill out gaps in my memory. Maybe someday I'll be able to properly express how much I appreciate him. I can't quite explain the change in environment in this house. I wish i knew how to explain it. Hugs to everyone that needs them.
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