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IMS

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  1. I had once a depression that was pretty intense -- I didn't shower a month and I couldn't get myself to even brush my teeth. I had the most ungodful breath on earth and I smelled like a pig, but I didn't really care; I was swallowed by a really dark and merciless entity. I think I lost a good couple of 'friends' due to my absence and appearence, but I recovered -- thankfully. Depression can be tough, because it's kind of like that movie 'The Brave Little Toaster' where one of the cars sing about their oncoming doom -- "I just can't, I just can't. I just can't seem to get started." When depression does hit, it's practically impossible to do anything, and I honestly just lie down in a fetal position and wait for it to go over. Other than that, I really only shower once or twice a week. It's the healthiest for the skin and hair if you ask me, plus you also train your immune system and spare money at the same time. I personally don't think it's gross at all to not shower every day, but I also think it kind of depends on how much sweat you accumulate during the day; I knew a guy who showered twice a day because he was sweating so much.
  2. High functioning depression is just a bulls*** term coined by psychologists. Anyone, if it's important enough, can hide their feelings and distress. I did myself, and not a single person was aware that I had attempted multiple times to take my own life. I knew a friend who was in the same position, and he always seemed happy. He was self-rightous, assertive and had a good look on himself, but that was all a facade to hide his true feelings about himself. What annoys me most with these psychologists and psychiatrists, that they focus more on the diagnosis than the person. You're put in a box, and you're expected to follow a steady and routine based treatment. Usually the professionals have too many patients to be able to focus on the characterestic distress in of itself; it's a shame, but sometimes the best treatment is to just do what you enjoy most, instead of taking pills and hoping that you might conform to these expectations. Perhaps the best choice is to not go to uni again? Have you considered other options that might give you more energy?
  3. I relate to this deeply, and I don't know if I'm projecting a tad too much, but most of my issues came from life long self-hatred. I was deeply ashamed that I never did good enough to my own delusional standards, and I slowly hated myself more and more. You have to understand, that you are valued as much as anyone else. Your issues and feelings have as much gravity as other people in your circles, and perhaps if you look inside yourself, you will hear a neglectful inner voice. Remember to finish your thoughts, even if they are painful. If you start thinking about something, the worst you can do is neglect it. Keep it in your mind, and try and settle it with some kind of answer. I've learned from personal experience, that I got the most answers when I was relaxed, but it took me a really long time to realize that.
  4. Im not sure if you can relate, but perhaps you can? I used to look, scour and search the deserts and the depthless sea of the subcouncious mind for a solution or an answer. I never, ever got to one. And one day, from trying too much for too long, I snapped. I gave up doing anything at all. I gave up trying to hold myself back. I gave up trying to be more happy, and I just let go. And I guess that I learned that my freedom was held back because I was looking for it. "The boy who never gave up looking for freedom. But giving up was the boy's road to freedom." Sometimes I believe that we should breathe, and stop trying to look for a solution. We shouldn't treat these emotions we have as, you like to call it, pathetic, or horrible and so on. They're something we should be grateful of, even if they are painful. Its perfectly understandable that you try your best to be happier, but sometimes happiness never happens because we often try too hard to look for it.
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