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About makeitlife

  • Birthday 04/20/1994

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    Phoenix, Arizona | USA
  • Interests
    Writing lyrics, poems, and code! Creating electronic music, petting my cats, and staying alive!

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  1. Thanks for the reply :) I have been fairly drug resistant since starting psych meds, for most of the time my antidepressants have been at max strength, until now that my Cymbalta was halved. Maybe since my initial dose is rather low comparatively I haven't felt the full effects, plus it could be the withdrawal from Cymbalta.. I feel like I have noticed some effect from the Adderall, maybe in my case it will improve a bit with time. I will try to take your advise either way to not get used to the initial high from the med. Thank you again.
  2. During my most recent visit with my psychotherapist, she recommended the idea of adding a stimulant into my mix of meds. She explained that from seeing me for awhile now it seems I have things I could be doing and would want to do, but I just don't have the motivation or energy to do them; she told me that sometimes a stimulant is used for depression cases, and offered to speak with my psychiatrist in the same office about it. Anyway, I ended up being prescribed Adderall at 10mg daily in the morning. Otherwise my psychiatrist lowered my Cymbalta from 120mg daily morning and night, to just 60mg daily in the morning. I'm still on Wellbutrin 450mg daily every morning, and Rexulti 2mg daily every night. So far it's been a couple of days since adjusting my SNRI and adding the stimulant. The change in my Cymbalta has me feeling off, just as med changes normally affect me. Though at the same time I feel like I'm seeing some amount of results from the addition of the Adderall. Overall my brain somewhat feels like it's being tied into a big knot, though it's not painful, just mildly-moderately uncomfortable. I'm curious of anyone else has been prescribed a stimulant, especially Adderall, for their own depression. Also what I might expect from the experience, and how long the changes may take to occur. I also have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome which includes chronic pain, I read online that a stimulant can sometimes help relive these symptoms which is what I'm hoping for.
  3. @Epictetus Thanks for the post. Sorry I've been away for awhile now and haven't responded yet. That's interesting, I used to play chess some when I was younger. I'm thinking maybe I should give this a try. Lately I've been playing the video game Borderlands 2 on my PS4. It's really been taking up a lot of my available time though.. I don't know if this is good or bad. As I have felt to ill to work currently it's easy to escape into and pass time. But on the other hand my therapist wants me to give volunteering a try; and hopefully if it works out, it may lead to a job again, likely part time. I'm tired and need to be up in the morning for an appointment, but hopefully tomorrow I can get myself to come back.
  4. @HeartagramGirl Oh I forgot to mention walking, I haven't been doing much of it lately though.. I was going to the gym somewhat frequently and taking in a healthy dose of protein from shakes I make at home. I don't know if it's the med changes or what but I just stopped working out again and haven't made a protein shake for awhile :/ I've always had trouble with working out or walking too much, I can't run with my asthma, but my chronic fatigue syndrome incapacitates me to no end it seems... Maybe volunteer work would help, if I can find the energy and motivation required to do any type of work.. Right now I'm actually in the process of trying to get disability benefits because with everything going on with me health wise I can not work currently and I don't know how long it will be... But the animal shelter suggestion would fit well with me as both of my cats are rescues, and between the two I have 5+ years of cat experience points :D Anyway thanks for the reply!
  5. @KidSurvivor2011 That's very interesting that we share hobbies as you've explained. I suppose maybe I've gotten my mind more fixated on something new, for as far as I can remember I typically felt bored quite often; now that I think about it, maybe my bored feelings were because of a lack of pleasure in life from depression.. Sorry if I got off topic, it's just something your post made me think about. The point is that I think it would be good for me to explore more into my current "passions" I have tried a bit, but I feel where the depression doesn't disable me the chronic fatigue syndrome is there in its place.. It really is a nasty mix, I'm hoping these med changes will show improvement soon, but right now I'm still feeling the side effects of the recent med changes. So yes, I believe you answered my question correctly, thank you :D
  6. I'm depressed amongst other issues and I have a lot of free time right now. I'm just wondering what hobbies and the like that others have taken up or used to help pass time amidst their depression. Some things that I've still been able to find some enjoyment in would be: video games, music (listening and creating), writing code, being with friends and family, beginner's yoga & meditation, also knitting is cool. I'm not currently working, so I'm pretty broke right now with basically no spending money :/ so the cheaper the better with any suggestions. Thanks in advance to anyone who reads or even writes back!
  7. @jackuk27 My family supports me as much as they're able, but I also feel like their part of the reason I have depression, well at least my parents; I grew up with an alcoholic father and codependent mother, I grew up seeing my dad being a binge drinker and often being sick in bed because of it, and I often heard about it from my mother. There's more to the story of course, but that's about the gist of it. I was originally diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome sometime before my teen years, likely around the age of 8-10; I just saw a new counselor, and after telling her a bit about my story she said that she wonders if I was misdiagnosed at that age, thinking that the real issue may have been depression.. I'm honestly not sure when my depression began, but I'm about to turn 23 here soon, which means that I might have been or still am depressed for close to 15 years taking up more than half my life so far. That thought in itself is depressing, but I feel it may be the case as even I have pondered the same thought at times. Anyway, I'm now living with my parents again after being on my own for almost four years, mostly due to the depression. They've been fairly supportive, and are open to talk if I need to, though I don't really feel like bringing this up. Otherwise I've always been one to have few close friends rather than many aquaintences, and overall my friends have been supportive as well, I think the closer relationship helps with this though. Well, I'm falling asleep, not sure if this has been helpful at all, hopefully though.
  8. I'm not sure if this is the right place for this.. All my life I've been a Christian raised in the church, I've done my best to believe and have faith in "God". But honestly I'm really not so sure of my faith anymore.. I just want to know if there is a "God," then why does "He" sit on his throne and watch me suffer daily? I have major depression with pretty much daily suicidal ideations. Why is taking your own life even allowed to be considered? So why do I have to suffer because Adam and Eve ate a fruit? They ate a fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, and then the whole human race has to endure punishment? Why does it even matter that the gained such knowledge, why was that a "sin"? If "God" didn't want us to gain that knowledge, then why did "He" allow it? I just feel like if I were "God" and I created everything including humans, the last thing I would want to do is watch my creation suffer. How does "God" sending "Himself" as his own "Son" to die brutally show that he loves us? I feel like if "He" really did love us, and if "He's" all powerful, that "He" could have forgiven us without first smiting the entire human race. I was always taught not to question "God." Is that because once you start to question you realize it doesn't make sense? Anyway, thanks for letting me rant, and sorry for all the questions.. I've been dealing with this for some time, and I can't figure it out on my own.
  9. Hi Deborah! I'm happy to hear that you've had good results from Bupropion. I just recently took the leap from 300mg to 450mg myself, and I'm hoping I'll start to benefit from it soon. I have never taken brand name Wellbutrin, so I can't comment on that.. But I checked and my 300mg tab is from Par, and my 150mg tab is from Actavis. So I'm glad to hear that you noticed the Par pills seem to work better. Have you thought about seeing if you can switch back to the pills from Par?
  10. @Epictetus Thanks for the comment. If I'm still having this issue tomorrow I will definitely call my Psych. Honestly I'm slightly worried to go to bed, my thoughts start to wonder if it will be worse tomorrow..
  11. On Monday I started taking 450mg XL 24H of Bupropion as prescribed, I was taking 300mg before this. Just today I noticed that when I have my glasses on things up close appear blurry, but if I have them off I can see fine, other than far away which is what the glasses are for. Blinking seems to help as things sharpen up, but then within a few seconds they begin to blur again. The blurring is bad enough that I can't read text on my tablet, though I can without the glasses. As the title says this change seemed to come on suddenly. Otherwise my eyes feel like they have more pressure than normal, it's like a mild dull pain, the same is true for my head actually though it hurts more than my eyes. Other than Wellbutrin I also take Zoloft at 200mg, both are at their max dosages, plus I also take Zyprexa. During my last psychiatrist appointment the only med change was the 50% bump in Wellbutrin, so I'm doubting it's my other meds. Besides depression I also have anxiety issues among other things, I'm just trying to keep calm hoping this is only temporary. It just seems very strange to me, has anyone else experienced this?
  12. @skblue Thanks for the reply. My brother in law mentioned before that he knows a dentist in Mexico, and that maybe I could get my teeth fixed there as you mentioned.
  13. @cheshire_chick Thanks for the reply :D That is a good suggestion, it would be good for me to check into that.
  14. @SailingSoul Thanks for your reply. I suppose that is true, I'm not suffering from every struggle in this world, though sometimes it feels like it.. I suppose perspective is what it's about, but unfortunately depression detunes our perspective of the world...
  15. @CoolCat7 Thanks for your reply. I actually do currently have dental coverage, because I haven't actually quit my job yet as I recently applied for disability.. Maybe I should check to see what's covered... I'm really not sure, it just seems like it would be expensive.
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