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Everything posted by Midnite

  1. @Lunachick I currently just see my primary care doctor. I've tried to see a psychiatrist but they're all book out until may :( I had to leave work today bc of my panic symptoms. I'm taking tomorrow off too. I just hope this Prozac starts working soon.
  2. I'm tired of feeling this drained and panicked all the time. I want some relief and I feel all alone in this matter. It's a battle between me and my anxious mind.
  3. @Lunachick thanks for the reassurance. I'm just tired of my heart feeling like it's going to pop out of my chest all day 24/7. I want some relief :(
  4. I have not tried that one, nor have I heard of it. Have you started it?
  5. Vegetable beef soup is disgusting, haha. (it's what I'm currently eating)
  6. Yes, I completely agree with you. When I'm down in the country on our farm I find peace and happiness, but when I'm working and living in the city. I'm constantly anxious and have panic attacks.
  7. I am grateful for my mother. Although we have our quarrels and she sometimes doesn't understand my illness, she is my rock. She helps get me through because she doesn't ever give up on me. I'm also grateful for my two dogs. They bring such joy into my life. Just a little happy to brighten my most darkest days.
  8. I walked my dog. We do that every morning and evening. I think she likes it just as much as I do because as soon as I say "You want to go for a walk?" she jumps and barks with excitement and runs to the door.
  9. I'm reading The Scorch Trials which is part of the Maze Runner series. It's pretty good so far!
  10. @Lunachick how are you doing on prozac? I starting taking it on february 3rd. I switched off of lexapro 20 mg straight to 40mg of prozac without weaning off lexapro. I still feel like crap and anxious/panic attacks all day 24/7. I make myself go to work because I feel if I keep pushing myself it will go away. My head feels like a balloon, I'm shakey, irritable, and my heart feels as if it is being squeezed. I'm tired of feeling this way! I don't get any relief. My doctor also prescribed propranolol for the palpitations but I think that increased my anxiety as well. This all started because I have a job promotion but it doesn't start until July. I really want to do this job, I'm excited, but now I'm in the cycle of worrying over my anxiety and can't snap out of it.
  11. I'm sorry to hear that. Remeron I hear is good for appetite and sleep. So hopefully that will help give you some relief. You're not alone. I'm experiencing the same thing as if I'm stuck in the fight or flight response. It's been 2 weeks for me.
  12. Hi Lunachick! I can definitely relate to your current situation. I have been on klonopin before because buspar didn't work for me. I didn't have any problems with it. The only thing is, is that doctors don't want to keep us on benzos very long because they can be habit forming. I'm currently back on xanax and I take it 3 times a day, but I'm still anxious underneath and it just makes me want to sleep. I have also missed a lot of work the past two weeks. Does your anxiety feel constant as in you never get any relief?
  13. @Lunachick I just switched to prozac. I'm taking 60mg. I'm also taking Atarax 10 MG 3 times a day and Xanax .5 MG 3 times a day and propranolol 20 MG twice a day. All I want to do is sleep all day and my anxiety keeps going. I've missed a lot of work. @Epictetus what were the other two techniques you were going to suggest for me?
  14. This week has been a real struggle. I'm trying to journal and write all the positive things about this new job. My therapist has given me coping strategies, but I keep falling into the same cycle in my mind. I'm physically and mentally exhausted. I'm restless. I wake up in immense fear every morning causing myself to get sick. My mom has to drag me out of my bed just to go take a shower and get to work. When I'm at work I feel like I'm not in the present moment. My head hurts from all this stress the past few weeks. I will not run away and avoid this change like I always do. I'm at the point in my life where I cannot run anymore. I have hit a wall. I'm on so many medicines it's not even funny. I can barely function. All I want to do is sleep all day. My doctor keeps insisting I'm going to get better, but at this point I feel it's hopeless. My disease is always going to get the best of me.
  15. I'm feeling a bit better today. I talked to my employer and he reassured me and gave me things to work on to prepare for this job. I'm seeing my therapist tomorrow.
  16. @Tessa_B I wish mine was shorter than that. I hate anticipating.
  17. @StoniumFrog I'm going from a para to a teaching position. I absolutely love what I do. I've been writing in my journal because that's one of the things my therapist wanted me to work on. I need to start practicing mindfulness and meditation. I never did give it much of a chance. I know I can do this job. I agree with what you said "we are our own worst critics / doomsayers" I have always been pressured to do my best by my mom. Failure was not an answer to her. I just dread that I'm going to be in this anxious mind loop for the next 6 months. My doctor tells me no that the pills will help, but it doesn't help when I don't have support around my house.
  18. @StoniumFrog Thank you for your reply. That's exactly what my doctor told me the other day. I've tried going for a walk or playing a video game but as soon as I stop I go back to the symptoms I am experiencing and if it will ever stop. I work at a school. The job I received is in the same building. So I'm going to take everyone's advice and ask them tomorrow if there is anything I can do as of right now to prepare. I'm tired of my anxiety getting the best of me and causing me to run away from opportunities in life. I will not do that this time. I have to think of my future. My anxiety disorder caused me to have to take fmla last year for a few weeks and I don't want to have to do that again. I still live with my mom. She is constantly yelling at me saying she can't handle seeing me like this and that I'm worrying over something so "stupid." She doesn't understand that once this fight or flight response kicks on, it's hard to turn it back off for me. I'm trying really hard. I'm doing everything that my therapist and my doctor have told me to do and it seems to keep on winning. It has now been a week and two days that I'm battling this and haven't seemed to have found relief yet or stop my thought patterns. Why is it so hard?
  19. @Tessa_B Thank you for your reply. How long did you have to wait for this new job? I'm better when I'm thrown into something instead of waiting around for 6 months. I'm trying to force myself out of bed and make myself do things so I don't keep dwelling on it. My anxiety seems to win every time and I find myself back in bed under the covers. I'm thinking maybe if I start researching maybe that will help me feel better but it's hard when you can't seem to focus because your heart is constantly pounding and your head feels like a balloon.
  20. I can definitely relate. I try to make it through the work day, but come home and immediately go to bed trembling in fear. I feel as I have no one I can talk to because they just don't understand my illness.
  21. Hi, Blurryface! I'm so sorry you are struggling as well. Did you have anything that might have triggered this anxiety? Any changes happening in your life? When I was 17 was the first time I experienced a panic attack as well. I refuse to see a psychiatrist. I had a bad experience with one. He kept changing my meds and I ended up in the hospital with serotonin syndrome. So I can understand why you wouldn't want to to say something to your psychiatrist. I'm still trying to figure out how to cope with my anxiety. I have been in a rut this week as well and I'm trying everything to get back to my normal self. I went to my primary doctor (he's the only one I feel I can trust) He switched me straight from lexapro to prozac and I'm also taking atarax and xanax during the day to try and help calm my system. I'm in constant fight or flight right now which I'm not sure if you're experiencing the same thing as me or not. But just know that you are not alone in this struggle! I feel better when I can get on here and let out what is bothering me because my close friends and parents don't understand my disease.
  22. I'm new as well! I struggle with depression, anxiety, and ocd. I'm having a rough few weeks. So far the kind comments of encouragement has helped me somewhat to at least know I'm not alone.
  23. @womanofthelight I don't have the option to chat just yet since I'm still new to this site. I was diagnosed with panic, depression, and ocd when I was 17. I have a fear of change and the unknown according to my primary doctor. I currently teach a computers class at a school so I'm not understanding why I'm having all this anxiety. I just want to be happy and excited about my new job not trembling in fear. I'm driving my parents crazy because they don't know how to help me. I can't put my own mind around what's frightening me so much. If my bosses see this in me they might take away what they gave me and I don't want that. I'm opened to any suggestions. I don't like the current therapist I see so I can't get in to see a new one until the 22nd of this month. I handle something better when I'm thrown into it and not sitting around waiting.
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