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Everything posted by Lumen

  1. Maybe you should socialize a bit more, I'm sure that there are some nice fellows in your age bracket around, maybe you'll be able to find a boyfriend. Even if that doesn't happen so soon, you can have good times with people, boys and girls, and they might also want to hug.
  2. I Dental hygene is very important, I've had countless problems, including root canals, at least six teeth had to be pulled, have glued-in bridges, several stand-alone crowns and ultra-expensive implants. I would suggest creating a daily ritual, to make it more interesting and effective. I brush with a regular toothbrush, then use dental floss, and finally a Water Flosser, by waterpik. The warterpik device isn't necessary for you as you probably don't have all the problems I have, but it really makes your mouth feel fresh, especially if you rinse with some mouthwash after everything is done. Believe me, it pays off in the end when you go to the dentist and all you need is a cleaning.
  3. I'd suggest asking for some anti-anxiety med to use until you get used to the Zoloft. I did it that way, with a generic Zoloft (Sertraline) about 12 years ago, it worked well and I took the Z for one year. I tried a different generic version Zolof in the summer of 2016, with no anti-anxiety meds, and had to stop after a few days.
  4. That must have been a terrible experience, but at least your vision symptoms have gone.
  5. My wife has been the caregiver for her aging parents, her father died about 12 years ago but her mother is still alive. She uses a website called agingcare. It has all kinds of information about caregiving, support, etc., not just for caring for elderly people. There are probably websites with message boards for family members of cancer patients. Hope this helps.
  6. I'm very sorry to hear what you're going through. I know what this is like, and how the shock just seems like to much too bear by yourself, but there are ways of coping with such circumstances, that you can find in psychology behavior workbooks and perhaps online. Your husband is no doubt very concerned also, but may feel that his role is to be more stoic, like a foundation for you. You're a good daughter, and have done more than your share of giving compassionate, loving kindness to your parent(s). Best of luck to you and your loved ones.
  7. Just take it slow, nobody's perfect. A woman I know met a 50 year old man who was almost killed in a car crash (some time before they met). He had to be airlifted to a hospital, can't work, numerous surgeries on what little is left of his legs - you get the picture, yet she is very much involved and none of his problems have discouraged her. Just don't give up!
  8. Don't over-analyze it, just be happy that she's interested - that's enough. My wife doesn't like beards much, and I never had one while I've been with her, but it wouldn't have been a deal breaker if I'd wanted to grow one when we met, or now. Maybe you're better looking without the beard, to her, but I don't think it's anything to worry about. I'm sure that you look fine with or w/o a beard, to her and most anybody else.
  9. Many women like quiet guys, and most talk more than men. This is not meant in any way to be a slight against women, just an observation - vive la différence.
  10. It's good to date somebody that's different from yourself, such as the introvert/extrovert thing, at least that's what I've found to work out best.
  11. She sounds very nice. There's good people out there, to find them you just have to have patience, and give it the old college try. Good luck.
  12. I don't think it's at all important to apologize, I've avoided my closest relatives for years, I just can't take it. If they need help, I'd be there, but I don't want to socialize or get involved with their personal lives and problems because they do not take my advice, even though they were the ones who asked. Basically, we have our limits as too how much we can take, and it's not our fault.
  13. Use cognitive methods to get over your insecurities and fears, and retrain your brain. It works, costs nothing more than the price of a couple of books, some of which are online or available from the library for free. They have exercises and methods that are guaranteed to change your thinking, but it takes work. The good news is, it always gets easier after the beginning hurdles are jumped. Text messages, though useful and fun, are not really a very good indicator of mood, compatibility, etc. There's no body language, no tone of voice, eye contact, etc.
  14. Yeah, comments like "Don't drink too much" on Labor Day mean nothing to most people, they'll consider it to be a joke or, more likely, not even think about it. She obviously seems to like you, so try not to over-analyze things, that type of thinking is the wrong way to approach it. You're just looking to have some fun, if something comes out of it long-term, fine, if not just enjoy yourself and move on.
  15. Was this a text message or something like that? Sometimes writing can sound like an "attitude", but if you were with her it wouldn't be a problem. Even the phone can depersonalize. I'd forget about it and just try to be very agreeable in the meantime, that's the best approach.
  16. I have only taken it without an AD. During the summer of 2016, before I tried SAMe, I took a generic Zoloft for a few days, and it was terrible even though I had taken it 10 years before (a different brand of generic) with no problems. I had no problems with SAMe, none whatsoever. SAMe works fast, the risks are very few, mainly stomach upset for some, and it's not recommended for people who are bipolar because it has been known to cause mania for some with that condition.
  17. I take SAM-E (AKA SAMe) every day, started towards the end of last year, and it's helped me. I'm using a very small dosage and may take more, due to some issues I've been having.
  18. Think of it as a game - no heatbreak, just practice and playing. You have to change the way you think and behave, and there are some very good, but not very easy, ways of doing this.
  19. Don't give up, find new strategies, make some changes in yourself, keep looking for the truth, and most of all keep evolving. There's no point in quitting, you're not losing anything by asking them out and if you do it enough, you're bound to eventually get a yes.
  20. Not having a partner is no reason to do what you're suggesting. I think you really have to question the logic of this. Believe me, if you aren't fussy about looks, you'll be able to find a woman that will like you, but you have to do some work because it isn't easy for any men to have a good relationship these days. Most guys are worse off than you, especially those with kids in a loveless marriage.
  21. I cannot answer the drug questions, and think that you've come to the right place, but I'd also advise you to also look into a website which features a Tinnitus Talk Support Forum. This is a great resource for those of us with Tinnitus and conditions which are related. Your symptoms could very well be a result of Tinnitus, the site is a good place to start, and many of it's members are very knowledgeable I don't think we're allowed to put links that can be clicked, but this is the place: tinnitustalk dot com Good luck!
  22. Thank you very much for your response, Empathy Guy. I did not see your post until just now, for some reason, and the support/advice is very much appreciated. I made many mistakes when I first noticed the T last summer, which included listening to it, trying to judge if was getting louder, slight panic at times, over-analyzing it, trying to figure out how exactly it happened, brooding, etc. This behavior is all wrong, it only makes it worse. I understand now that one must habituate to cope with this disorder, and there are various ways to accelerate this process of doing so. A few days ago I started using a coping method that I found online, which involves retraining the brain to not react the old ways to it, by changing your behavior and thinking, and I believe this may work for me but it's too soon to tell. So far, though, I'm having good days and bad days, and I'm sure that it won't be too long until there's less of the latter, and perhaps further improvement.
  23. Even though it was not at it's peak where I live, I didn't even go out until well after it was over. I have very serious reasons for avoiding the danger of potential eye damage, no matter how slim the chances are of it happening.
  24. The only thing I have to say to day is that the human brain is simply not capable of even coming close to actually comprehending our existence. Some would consider it an insult to say that anybody, such as a priest, who claims to have special knowledge, is either delusional or lying. Throughout history, people have been imprisoned, tortured, even killed for disputing the claims of the religious leaders, and in many places in the world it's still happening. There are politicians and groups who favor the superstitious teachings of their bibles in public schools, and the elimination of scientific subjects as well. It's a very serious problem, and a threat to our existence as a species.
  25. Try socializing in a non-threatening environment - i.e. clubs, groups, classes. This would make it easier to have conversations with people, including women. Don't discount taking baby steps until you feel more confident with yourself. Yoga, the "hatha" physical kind, is a good way to exercise, it relieves stress, and usually there are more women than men in these classes. Everybody's got problems, but with work on yourself, you can still have a worthwhile life. Good luck!
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