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About Morgan_13

  • Birthday 03/13/1991

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    Reading, kickboxing, soccer, & volleyball

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  1. I have to add that being single during the holidays sucks. Last year I broke up with my boyfriend on Christmas Eve. Yes that sounds really depressing but it was an unhealthy relationship and I am proud of myself for finally ending it. Being alone is awful. This last year has definitely been my hardest for many reasons. I'm trying to get better now and joining this forum is helping. My sister just signed me up for eHarmony. I despise online dating sites. I'm a very independent woman and have enjoyed the single life this year. I do what I want when I want and don't have to dress up or impress anyone. I work all the time and sign up for extra shifts when I can. I'm also in school to finish my Bachelors. So I basically have no life which has helped me not worry about being single. Unfortunately being over worked and anxious has only increased my depression. At work I am the pillar of positivity though. I put a big smile on for my entire 12 hour shift and pretend like I love life. Apparently I should get an oscar though, because not one person knows that I am like a black whole of depression, tied in knots of anxiety.
  2. @Turnt Wow I wish I could find a guy as kind and as loyal as you are. You have obviously gone all in with your heart on this relationship. I can't seem to find any guys like that yet. But I have to tell you that this girl sounds like she has some serious commitment issues. She is using you. You have obviously shown her that you are all about being with her for some time now. If she wanted to be "official" she would have done something by now. I don't understand why she can't just give you a straight answer. You need to sit down with her and ask her. If she can't answer you then end it. It's gonna hurt...a lot. But that pain goes away. She is not good for your mental health! Don't you see that? She is going to continue to make you sick with worry. We are literally the same age you and I. We won't be single forever. If you are willing to put this much effort into starting a relationship, someone will notice, trust me.
  3. I hate Christmas. Don't get me wrong I love the lights, the tree, and especially the music...but it's the family time that gets me down. My parents are divorced, which is a non-issue because it happened so long ago, but I'm still pulled in two different directions during the holiday season. My younger siblings are so entitled it sickens me. Honestly I don't think that there should be presents at all. Like what did you do on December 25th to deserve a gift. I'm not religious at all and I'm not implying the holidays should be a singularly religious experience, but can't people just me freaking nice to each other? My older siblings have families and can escape (lucky them). My father is remarried to an awful woman that was mentally and verbally abusive to me for years. I'm no longer a child and have no problem dishing it right back to her, but I shouldn't have to. My mother is single and borderline personality. For years I was the center of her emotional abuse as well. I apologize to anyone who has that diagnosis but being on the receiving end of its cruelty is rough. She is the queen of guilt trips. Back to the focus of this post, I do get very depressed during the Christmas season. I wish I had a regular family with normal quirks and loving get-togethers, but I don't. So I avoid them. Ok this may not seem healthy but it's how I cope. I'm a registered nurse in the intensive care unit. All of us have to work two holidays each year, and it works on a rotating schedule. And every year I find some mom or dad and offer to work their holidays. This year I worked Easter, 4th of July, Thanksgiving, and I will be working Christmas and Christmas Eve. I'm actually pretty psyched about it. I get to help sick people that actually need it, I get to make someone and their kids very happy and, I get to avoid what makes me unhappy. It's a win-win. The only holiday I actually enjoy is New Years (which I have off) because I get to see and hang out with friends. So when I get home from work on Christmas, I curl up on my couch with a glass of alcohol and watch a movie alone. That's my version of a perfect night.
  4. I'm in the same boat. I had been on Celexa for years and then it just stopped working. My doctor said that can happen. I became extremely anxious about everything and worrying myself to death about little things. The depression also got so bad I became suicidal and just wanted to give up. So my doctor switched me to Effexor about a week ago. I'm apparently in the zombie-phase which I'm told eventually goes away. It does help with the anxiety but I'm not a very productive member of society right now. I go to work do my job then come home and sleep. But in the back of my mind I'm terrified that the debilitating anxiety will creep back in if I get any other side effects. @theguy why didn't you like Effexor? My doctor said it would take time to pin down a good med for me...But how much time!?
  5. I followed you back, so you gotta post some more stuff!! Welcome to DF, Morgan!

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Turnt


      Welcome to the forums. This place has really been invaluable to me, I hope it can help you like it has helped me.

    3. Morgan_13


      @carter_burn1 the number 13 was also my soccer and volleyball jersey numbers. It's also my lucky number. Too funny. @Turnt yea I'm hoping this forum helps me. Talking to my doctor or therapist is all well and good, but talking to people who are or were in my same situation is so much better. Reading some of these stories feels like they are about me they are so similar. And a lot of it gives me hope. Haven't had much of that in a while. 

    4. Turnt


      I agree. I mean therapists and doctors can help you deal with your problems, but it is really nice to relate to people that know what you're going through. This place has even saved my life a couple times.

  6. I have been taking Celexa for the last 7 years for mild depression and anxiety. Over the last 2 years I have been having worse and worse anxiety to the point of frequent panic attacks. Along with the increasing anxiety over the last few months I have gone into a pretty dark depression. Recently my anxiety was so high that I felt like giving up and for the first time in my life was suicidal. It scared the hell out of me. I went to my doctor for help and he switched me from Celexa to Effexor. I have been taking it for 4 days now and have definitely noticed decreased anxiety. Unfortunately I'm kinda zombie-like, like I don't really care about anything including the things that were making me anxious before. Does that ever go away? Also I have read a lot about the terrible horror stories of weight gain side effects. I know it effects everyone differently, but should I be worried. Also I hear taking Effexor every day at the same time is imperitive and you can become seriously ill if you don't. I work night shift so I sleep during the day but when I have a day off I try to be awake and social during the day. I'm worried about the timing of taking the pill. Should I just set an alarm and take it at the same time no matter what? Has anyone had experiences like this?
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