Jump to content


Junior Member
  • Content Count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by felix_a_cat

  1. Hi Arella, I'm really sorry you're going through a rough time. I am too. I can relate to the feeling of little things seeming like giant undertakings. I've reduced my work hours to 3 hours per day, but every day I still take forever to get myself out the door and face the day. Cooking? It's the bare minimum, often just sandwiches. Anyway, I do encourage you to seek help. Do you have a family doctor you see, or a psychiatrist? Maybe you can try to take one small step forward towards booking an appointment? Perhaps just locate the number for the Dr's office as step one? I'm sorry you're feeling this way, and remember you're not alone, and you can get better.
  2. Could you try sleeping in the same room as him but in your own bed? You could buy a single (twin are they called?) bed probably pretty cheap, and give that a shot. It could be a good first step, and ultimately you can transition into the same bed. Or, heck stick to the separate beds if necessary. Might cramp the room a bit, but you could maybe just use a mattress and no box spring and put it on the floor and then stash it off to the side when you're not using it.
  3. I'm overwhelmed today as well Gandolf. I'm struggling to get any work done. Have been for the past month. Somehow I get some stuff done, just like somehow I manage to propel my body forward to get to the store, the bus stop, the bicycle, etc. I feel for you, I know what it's like to struggle, to be afraid, lonely, angry and without hope. I'm sorry you're experiencing this. Hopefully this is a lower point that you can recognize as having always lifted in the past at least to some degree. I've had the feeling of the fight being out of me before, only to have renewed vigour come back. Just wanted to reinforce to you the cyclical nature of this. Sometimes the cycles don't have very high highs, but they can again.
  4. I don't want to advocate for one form of treatment or another, but pills have never in my experience taken away emotions - if anything they've given them back, after only being able to feel just the bad emotions. But again, not trying to persuade.
  5. @HavePatience thank you for your support. I did start seeing my therapist again. It's been somewhat helpful, but not enough to make a big difference yet. @ladysmurf thank you, I'll be seeing my psych tomorrow and will be likely trying out another anti-psychotic or possibly an MAOI. @skblue thank you, and I'm glad you're feeling better. Yeah the waiting sucks. But I've given Effexor more than enough time, and now Lithium a good trial as well. It's likely on to something new tomorrow. I kind of want to push for ECT, because I'm tired of waiting for stuff to work. But on paper it probably looks like I haven't tried enough drugs yet so he'll likely not approve.
  6. I have been in a very bad place for a few months now, and experience cognitive problems as well. Back in December I got hit with a ton of bricks and immediately had intense depression and anxiety. I couldn't get my mind to focus enough to work on complex work problems. It was the anxiety I think. My mind was jumping all over the place. Usually ruminating on how crappy I feel and when is it going to stop. So I had to work on easier projects at work (I told work what was up). I've been trying different pharmaceutical approaches and CBT as well. I too find that CBT isn't as effective when you're deep in the toilet. But I do it nonetheless. It's doing good things under the hood whether it feels that way or not. I think your username sums it up. Patience is needed. We'll get to a better place.
  7. Hi all, I'm curious to know how many antidepressants you've tried before finding one that helped. I first started taking antidepressants 10 years ago, and found relief with the first one I tried. It was Lexapro (escitalopram). But 6 months ago I got hit with depression hard, harder than ever before, and I guess that med wasn't enough or didn't work anymore. I tried the following with no luck over the past 5 months: lexapro + abilify lexapro + latuda switching primary ad to effexor/venlafaxine venlafaxine + lithium It's been 3 weeks on venlafaxine and lithium and I'm still severely depressed. I have to give it another 2 weeks until I can see my doc again. So, if you ignore the combos I've basically only tried 2 antidepressants (Lexapro + effexor). I have a couple questions: 1) Has anyone pooped out on an SSRI and found another SSRI that worked? I went from an SSRI (lexapro) to an SNRI (effexor), and I'm wondering if going back to another SSRI could work. 2) How many antidepressants + antidepressant combos did you try before finding something that helped? 3) For anyone who took the Lexapro -> Effexor path, what did your doc try next after Effexor? I've been severely depressed for 6 months now, my hope is dwindling. Just looking for some reassurance that pharmaceutical help is possible. I've been trying to get long walks in, and eating pretty well, and doing CBT exercises (though not seeing my therapist). Ativan makes all my problems go away, but I don't want to use it too much. I have needed to the past 3 weeks though. Thanks.
  8. I can definitely relate. I feel like my brain has shrunk. (which I bet it probably has). I find myself spacing out mid sentence often, not so quick at coming up with words, not really funny anymore, fearful of doing things, trouble concentrating on work projects (this is a big problem for me), garbage memory. I think it's pretty common with depression. So you're not alone. And the good news is depressions do end. You're still early on in your meds, so give it some more time. Consider a psychologist as well. I feel like a different person too. A much worse person. But we'll come out the other end and be ourselves again.
  9. There's also Meetup (.com). In my city I've seen social anxiety support groups on Meetup, you could signup to that, and I'll bet nobody would blame you if you wanted to take off part-way through. I've also seen meetups for walking tours, "mindful walks", stuff like that, around the city. You could show up, take part in the walks, and then take off part-way through if you needed to.
  10. Has anyone had any success on the older anti-depressants, like TCAs or MAOIs? How many newer meds did you try before your doc prescribed them? I was on Lexapro, then it stopped working (or my stresses overpowered it), added some AAPs, no help, now I'm on Effexor and just added Lithium. Been a week on the Lithium. No help yet. I'm just curious what the doc is gonna do next if (hopefully not) the Lithium doesn't beef up the Effexor (which was doing basically nothing anyway). Part of me wants to quit goofing around and go straight to the nuclear option: ECT. Not sure how many more drug trials I can handle with no relief. Thanks :)
  11. I'm genuinely amazed at how much suffering we can endure. It's pretty amazing. Completely f****d up but kind of amazing. I feel for you guys. It sounds like every day is a battle. It is for me too. @gandolfication sounds like you're having at least some success with meds. That's good. What does your Naturopath do for you? Wonder if I should see one. @standup good luck for the next few days. They're going to be crazy rough for me as well. I've been trying Effexor the past few weeks and have realized that now at 150mg it does nothing for me but give me outrageous anxiety and deep dread and depression. I'm gonna drop the dose to a level where all it does for me is nothing at all, so I'll be merely a raw exposed nerve walking around, instead of a raw exposed nerve with a needle P**king it. But I know I still have a bunch of days ahead of me with this crap in my system. I better just strap in.
  12. Thanks for responding. I'll see if I can call my doc tomorrow and get some guidance on whether I should endure the anxiety with benzos to give it time to pass. I was hopeful Effexor would work, it's my first time trying a new AD. I had been on Lexapro for 10 years, but it wasn't helping me with my latest episode so we decided to switch to Effexor. I guess I shouldn't get discouraged, it may still work, and if not I guess we'll pick an SSRI or SNRI at random and try that one out. F*** it, let's go straight to ECT. I need to be more patient.
  13. I don't know what to do. My anxiety is off the charts right now. I might have to take a lorazepam. I really try not to take them but I'm struggling really bad. I don't know how to proceed. If I should continue at 150mg Effexor and hope the anxiety goes away, and use lorazepams in the meantime when things get too bad, or go down on the Effexor to 112.5. Seeing psychiatrist in 7 days. This is not fun. Any ideas?
  14. Has anyone experienced increased anxiety when going up on Effexor, or starting it for that matter, and had it go down after a while? I had a bit more anxiety when I started it a month ago, and over the past week I've gone from 75 to 150mg and the past few days have been high anxiety at times. I've read it can happen but interested in hearing other stories of it being only temporary. Thanks.
  15. I sat in my office chair at work weathering absurd levels of anxiety. Got my heart rate up nice and high. Earlier though I walked to the pet store and hauled back some cat food, in a wind storm.
  16. I'm so sorry for what you're going through. For the past few days I've had way heightened anxiety as well. I've somehow been able to hold it together, but it's been very tough. Im' not able to get any work done at work - I'm just sitting here googling depression treatments and stuff like that trying to get some reassurance that I'll be ok. It's a nightmare. Just wanted to share that out of solidarity. I feel for you and I'm struggling as well. But in the past when I've had high anxiety like this, it's always gone back down eventually. You can count on that. Life is an ebb and flow, nothing is permanent. You can and will get to a better place. I've had ups and downs when it's come to depression and anxiety and I'm currently down, way down, but I know there'll be an up. And we can work on things when we're in those ups to keep them up. Stay strong - and you are strong, look what you're surviving - and things will improve. When's your next pdoc appointment?
  17. I'm sorry you had such an unsympathetic experience with the doctor. Good doctors should do everything they can to make sure that the patient feels cared for and heard. Maybe you can call them up and ask to be seen again, and say that you forgot to talk about a bunch of things because you weren't feeling well/feeling yourself? I know what it feels like to feel alone. I feel it very deeply sometimes. It's part of depression and it's really hard. At least you're not alone here. People care about and understand you here. Good for you for posting and trying to let some of it out.
  18. Yeah I agree about ECT - a little memory loss, who cares if it works. Same with sexual dysfunction of ADs... if they can make me not want to die I'll take whatever side effects you got. TMS isn't covered here in Ontario either yet, but I'd be in a clinical trial so it'd be free. Thanks for the encouragement regarding Effexor. I'm only at 75 now so who knows, with time and or a higher dose I could see some better effects. If ketamine didn't work for you, I wonder if esketamine or rapastinel would. They're in trials.
  19. Oh man I'm sorry the Ketamine isn't working for you. What drag. Keep trying stuff I guess, right? That's all we can do. I'm trying Effexor now after Lexapro didn't seem to cut it anymore. 2nd AD I've been on. Been 2 weeks now on Effexor, felt better at first but been in the dumps for a few days now hard. Been in the toilet of toilets for 4 relentless months now. Also have a consultation for an rTMS trial tomorrow. Standup have you heard of TMS? It's different from ECT and might work for you?
  20. I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm there as well, it's rough. I have hope for you though. I think it's a good idea to talk to your family doctor/GP if you have one. Ask about both medication and therapy and see what they say. It could be the one or both will be useful for you. But regardless, I think it's a good idea to see someone as soon as you can. People can come out of these things, it happens all the time :) I have in the past, and so will you.
  21. I took Latuda for 10 or 11 days and then went off b/c I had increased anxiety which I thought was due to the Latuda. So I cut it a bit short, I was supposed to try for a couple weeks. But when I told him, my psychiatrist said usually you would see results between 2 days to 2 weeks if you were going to see any, and he didn't think it was likely that the 3 days I missed out would have seen any new improvements. No jaw/tongue stuff though. Just increased anxiety, which may or may not be due to the Latuda. I also stopped Abilify right before going on Latuda so maybe that caused the anxiety. I don't know. YMMV :)
  22. It's 20% annually, which is 0.054% per day, which is about 1.62% per month. So you'll be charged 1.62% of $300 the first month, which is $4.86. And presumably that will go down as you pay it off each month. So depending on how you pay it off, you'll probably end up paying 20 - 24 bucks or so over 6 months to borrow that money from the credit card company.
  23. When I met with the psychiatrist for the first time, I met with him and a social worker at the same time, and I told them my entire story about my mental health history, past episodes, medication history, and they ask you questions too to get a full picture of you. Then they might suggest some type of group therapy the hospital puts on, as well as explore medication options. In my case there was no "talk therapy" done by the psychiatrist, they primarily manage medication and make suggestions for other things that might help with symptoms. I know some psychiatrists do do talk therapy as well, but most in a hospital setting will probably just manage medication. When you ask for a referral to a psychiatrist, also ask for one for a psychologist, who does talk therapy. That's often very useful for people too. You mentioned that pills do nothing, so maybe psychologist could be helpful. In any case, it sounds like you should try and get set up with both. As far as what to expect from a psychologist, it depends on their style. I went to one that likes to use CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) as the treatment. But it will depend on the therapist. CBT is quite effective though. It might help you out a lot.
  • Create New...