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  1. Hi Arella, I'm really sorry you're going through a rough time. I am too. I can relate to the feeling of little things seeming like giant undertakings. I've reduced my work hours to 3 hours per day, but every day I still take forever to get myself out the door and face the day. Cooking? It's the bare minimum, often just sandwiches. Anyway, I do encourage you to seek help. Do you have a family doctor you see, or a psychiatrist? Maybe you can try to take one small step forward towards booking an appointment? Perhaps just locate the number for the Dr's office as step one? I'm sorry you're feeling this way, and remember you're not alone, and you can get better.
  2. Could you try sleeping in the same room as him but in your own bed? You could buy a single (twin are they called?) bed probably pretty cheap, and give that a shot. It could be a good first step, and ultimately you can transition into the same bed. Or, heck stick to the separate beds if necessary. Might cramp the room a bit, but you could maybe just use a mattress and no box spring and put it on the floor and then stash it off to the side when you're not using it.
  3. I'm overwhelmed today as well Gandolf. I'm struggling to get any work done. Have been for the past month. Somehow I get some stuff done, just like somehow I manage to propel my body forward to get to the store, the bus stop, the bicycle, etc. I feel for you, I know what it's like to struggle, to be afraid, lonely, angry and without hope. I'm sorry you're experiencing this. Hopefully this is a lower point that you can recognize as having always lifted in the past at least to some degree. I've had the feeling of the fight being out of me before, only to have renewed vigour come back. Just wanted to reinforce to you the cyclical nature of this. Sometimes the cycles don't have very high highs, but they can again.
  4. I don't want to advocate for one form of treatment or another, but pills have never in my experience taken away emotions - if anything they've given them back, after only being able to feel just the bad emotions. But again, not trying to persuade.
  5. @HavePatience thank you for your support. I did start seeing my therapist again. It's been somewhat helpful, but not enough to make a big difference yet. @ladysmurf thank you, I'll be seeing my psych tomorrow and will be likely trying out another anti-psychotic or possibly an MAOI. @skblue thank you, and I'm glad you're feeling better. Yeah the waiting sucks. But I've given Effexor more than enough time, and now Lithium a good trial as well. It's likely on to something new tomorrow. I kind of want to push for ECT, because I'm tired of waiting for stuff to work. But on paper it probably looks like I haven't tried enough drugs yet so he'll likely not approve.
  6. I have been in a very bad place for a few months now, and experience cognitive problems as well. Back in December I got hit with a ton of bricks and immediately had intense depression and anxiety. I couldn't get my mind to focus enough to work on complex work problems. It was the anxiety I think. My mind was jumping all over the place. Usually ruminating on how crappy I feel and when is it going to stop. So I had to work on easier projects at work (I told work what was up). I've been trying different pharmaceutical approaches and CBT as well. I too find that CBT isn't as effective when you're deep in the toilet. But I do it nonetheless. It's doing good things under the hood whether it feels that way or not. I think your username sums it up. Patience is needed. We'll get to a better place.
  7. Hi all, I'm curious to know how many antidepressants you've tried before finding one that helped. I first started taking antidepressants 10 years ago, and found relief with the first one I tried. It was Lexapro (escitalopram). But 6 months ago I got hit with depression hard, harder than ever before, and I guess that med wasn't enough or didn't work anymore. I tried the following with no luck over the past 5 months: lexapro + abilify lexapro + latuda switching primary ad to effexor/venlafaxine venlafaxine + lithium It's been 3 weeks on venlafaxine and lithium and I'm still severely depressed. I have to give it another 2 weeks until I can see my doc again. So, if you ignore the combos I've basically only tried 2 antidepressants (Lexapro + effexor). I have a couple questions: 1) Has anyone pooped out on an SSRI and found another SSRI that worked? I went from an SSRI (lexapro) to an SNRI (effexor), and I'm wondering if going back to another SSRI could work. 2) How many antidepressants + antidepressant combos did you try before finding something that helped? 3) For anyone who took the Lexapro -> Effexor path, what did your doc try next after Effexor? I've been severely depressed for 6 months now, my hope is dwindling. Just looking for some reassurance that pharmaceutical help is possible. I've been trying to get long walks in, and eating pretty well, and doing CBT exercises (though not seeing my therapist). Ativan makes all my problems go away, but I don't want to use it too much. I have needed to the past 3 weeks though. Thanks.
  8. I can definitely relate. I feel like my brain has shrunk. (which I bet it probably has). I find myself spacing out mid sentence often, not so quick at coming up with words, not really funny anymore, fearful of doing things, trouble concentrating on work projects (this is a big problem for me), garbage memory. I think it's pretty common with depression. So you're not alone. And the good news is depressions do end. You're still early on in your meds, so give it some more time. Consider a psychologist as well. I feel like a different person too. A much worse person. But we'll come out the other end and be ourselves again.
  9. There's also Meetup (.com). In my city I've seen social anxiety support groups on Meetup, you could signup to that, and I'll bet nobody would blame you if you wanted to take off part-way through. I've also seen meetups for walking tours, "mindful walks", stuff like that, around the city. You could show up, take part in the walks, and then take off part-way through if you needed to.
  10. Has anyone had any success on the older anti-depressants, like TCAs or MAOIs? How many newer meds did you try before your doc prescribed them? I was on Lexapro, then it stopped working (or my stresses overpowered it), added some AAPs, no help, now I'm on Effexor and just added Lithium. Been a week on the Lithium. No help yet. I'm just curious what the doc is gonna do next if (hopefully not) the Lithium doesn't beef up the Effexor (which was doing basically nothing anyway). Part of me wants to quit goofing around and go straight to the nuclear option: ECT. Not sure how many more drug trials I can handle with no relief. Thanks :)
  11. I'm genuinely amazed at how much suffering we can endure. It's pretty amazing. Completely f****d up but kind of amazing. I feel for you guys. It sounds like every day is a battle. It is for me too. @gandolfication sounds like you're having at least some success with meds. That's good. What does your Naturopath do for you? Wonder if I should see one. @standup good luck for the next few days. They're going to be crazy rough for me as well. I've been trying Effexor the past few weeks and have realized that now at 150mg it does nothing for me but give me outrageous anxiety and deep dread and depression. I'm gonna drop the dose to a level where all it does for me is nothing at all, so I'll be merely a raw exposed nerve walking around, instead of a raw exposed nerve with a needle P**king it. But I know I still have a bunch of days ahead of me with this crap in my system. I better just strap in.
  12. Thanks for responding. I'll see if I can call my doc tomorrow and get some guidance on whether I should endure the anxiety with benzos to give it time to pass. I was hopeful Effexor would work, it's my first time trying a new AD. I had been on Lexapro for 10 years, but it wasn't helping me with my latest episode so we decided to switch to Effexor. I guess I shouldn't get discouraged, it may still work, and if not I guess we'll pick an SSRI or SNRI at random and try that one out. F*** it, let's go straight to ECT. I need to be more patient.
  13. I don't know what to do. My anxiety is off the charts right now. I might have to take a lorazepam. I really try not to take them but I'm struggling really bad. I don't know how to proceed. If I should continue at 150mg Effexor and hope the anxiety goes away, and use lorazepams in the meantime when things get too bad, or go down on the Effexor to 112.5. Seeing psychiatrist in 7 days. This is not fun. Any ideas?
  14. Has anyone experienced increased anxiety when going up on Effexor, or starting it for that matter, and had it go down after a while? I had a bit more anxiety when I started it a month ago, and over the past week I've gone from 75 to 150mg and the past few days have been high anxiety at times. I've read it can happen but interested in hearing other stories of it being only temporary. Thanks.
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