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Mistral001

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  1. I agree with Benswah about possible feelings of guilt about your leisure activities or perhaps the lack of them in you eyes. I own a dog and I know that dogs not just something you feed a couple of times a day like a goldfish. They need attention and caring for. Watching TV is often the main leisure activity of working people when they come home from work, so no need to have any negative feelings there. With regard to remembering the distant past, perhaps you just have not thought much or talked much about your childhood since childhood. I have a family in which we often talk about childhood memories and have done so for many years with the result that memories are pretty much engrained in my head. I suppose it is a bit like learning things at school. I learned French for five years at school. I have never used what I learned since I left school and can only remember a few words yet at one time I probably knew a few 1000 words.
  2. I have always assumed dreams are healthy and mean nothing other than our past experiences and fantasies for the future all mixed up together. However, for the past three or four years I tend to only have the same two or three dreams over and over again. In one dream I am back working for an old employer. I am really surprised to get a salaried job back with one of the three firms I worked to before I became self-employed. I am pleased with getting a regular salary again and having a chance to get some money in the bank again, but the employers do not give me any work to do and I just sit at a desk pretending to work. I am so ashamed about the situation that I just leave without even getting my first pay cheque. My self-employment has not been going well for about five or six years now and I sometimes struggle financially despite having a fairly fugal lifestyle. So I guess this dream is all about this situation. One other recurring dream is about renting a room or an apartment and then moving to another one without telling the landlord and then a few months later realising that I have two apartments and I have forgotten to keep up with the payments on the first place. I assume that this is related to dispute I had many year ago with a landlord. I left the apartment with all rent paid so the money aspect of the dreams is a bit confusing. The dreams are not pleasant dreams. I rarely get pleasant dreams.
  3. Some good suggestions there. Preventing depression from coming back usually take hard work. The fact that the OP's depression seems to come and go makes me think that the depression that he/she is experiencing may need some extra help. Have you seen a professional about you depression?
  4. Stay away from the situation are my thoughts. You are getting caught up other people's problems that only they can solve (with the help of the courts and various professionals). Your friend will put her kids first and perhaps her marriage -if she decides to not get divorced - and her friendship with you a very distant second. As far as I can see you have done nothing to worry about. If you get an injunction, then seek legal help I suggest. It is unlikely to come to that. People with depression often have a problem with second-guessing outcomes. They go over and over in their heads what could happen. Try to stay in the present and let the future take care of itself.
  5. I find this a very interesting post. I have often felt uncomfortable with terms like "defeating depression" or "battling depression". I have read a book by Dorothy Rowe called "Depression - The Way Out of Your Prison". So I certainly get the Cave analogy. Getting into the prison was not done overnight and I suppose getting out will not be done overnight either, so the analogy of the cave is better than prison as it is something that we retreat into going further and further away from the fresh air and light.
  6. If you can do something that means that you can get out of the house, but do not have to interact with people much it might help. At the minute you seem to be either isolated in your house or out of the house full interacting with people. Is there something you can do which requires you to take a short walk? Maybe mailing a letter, or getting a dog so that you can walk it.
  7. I have a dog and taking him for his walk gets me out of the house and helps me meet others - mostly other dog owners. My dog is from a dogs' home and is quite independent as he was four when I got him, so I do not get a sense that he needs me. My last dog was less independent in character and I had more feelings of having a purpose with him as he got very attached to me. However, it is possible that if I had not given my present dog a home, he would still be in the dogs' home in his little cell, so that gives me some sense of purpose.
  8. Much of Buddhist teaching is rooted in life is suffering. I have read a lot about Buddhism but not a practicing Buddhist. It is an interesting perspective on life and many people who suffer from depression follow its teaching.
  9. I have suffered from depression for 15 years now and I have had physical symptoms similar to those that you have described. These symptoms tend to come and go. I am pretty sure that they are stress-related and relate to stress that I am getting from things that are happening now in my life. My depression seems to be more deeply routed and when it is at its strongest I get almost incapacitated thus I do not move much and I do not get the muscle aches and pains.
  10. Even if you are not finding many answers, perhaps evaluating the progress that you have made might be helpful.
  11. I could not find anything to vote for on the list. I find that doing something very mundane helps my depression. I tend to get a feeling of being stuck when I get a bout of depression. Doing mundane things like washing the dishes often helps and gets me unstuck. I do not like doing housework and the thought of doing it is not a very pleasant, however I know that if I can just get started doing a little housework, after a few minutes my depressed mood will rise.
  12. Yes that is just about it. You have to be in a good place yourself to provide the help. Depressed people can sap a lot of energy from those around them without giving much back. I suffer from depression myself and know how much I depended on people when I was first diagnosed with it several years ago. Then my depression was severe major/clinical depression and the people who helped me then were friends and relatives and also professionals.
  13. I would trust my own thinking more and try be a little kinder to yourself. If you want to help this friend then you cannot do it if you are not in good shape yourself. It is not being selfish. In fact being in bad shape and trying to help someone who needs help could result in you being of little help.
  14. It is sometimes difficult to find enjoyable and fulfilling things to do outside of work and when we have depression, sometimes it is just too easy to get into "yes, but" mode which prevents us from even trying things that might be enjoyable in a good and fulfilling way. For instance, I have always wanted to own and learn to play the bass guitar. I had more or less come to the decision that despite not really having much spare money to buy a cheap second hand bass guitar, that I should buy one. I have an acoustic guitar which I can play slightly better than at beginner level, but have doubts about my fingering as a have slightly crooked fingers. This has been holding me back from buying a bass guitar and when I recently looked at a few YouTube bass guitar videos on fingering exercises, I came to the firm conclusion that the bass guitar was not for me. However, my thoughts now are that I should just go ahead and buy the bass anyway. It could be fun buying it and it could be fun learning a few numbers even if I find that I cannot get beyond the basics. I can sell it in a few months time which means that I will not have to spend much on it.
  15. Are there certain subjects you discuss which usually end in you feeling angry and expressing that anger? If there are, perhaps you need to avoid those subjects, at least for a while anyway.
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