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About TheCunningLinguist

  • Rank
    Junior Member
  • Birthday June 24

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  • Location
    New York State
  • Interests
    Writing, books, movies, photography (unfulfilled unfortunately), and many, many beautiful things.

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  1. Okay, I'm going to try and make a long story short here. I've had this friend since high school that I broke contact with a few months ago. There have been romantic overtones on and off over the years, but none recently. We had a nasty argument which led to the break in contact and I went the extra mile. Social media, deleted and blocked numbers, pictures all of it. I had no intention of ever speaking to her again. Well, it turns out that despite her being blocked my phone still saced the messages since unbeknownst to me. Her messages are full of apologies, and I love yous, etc. She's actually been messaging me on every holiday since the break of contact. Every fibre of my being tells me to let it go, we simply cannot be friends anymore. Despite her denying it, I feel she wants me to be something I cannot be, namely the person I was when we met. I have long since come to realize that my brain is often times a mess and I want a little perspective here if you're all willing to share. I want to make sure I'm not doing the right thing. Any thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks.
  2. @tiredlilone Trust me I get it. I agree totally with @SoCalAce I WOULD be in jail if not for my intelligence. Personally, I think the depression and negative thoughts are a price to pay for actually being able to do something with our lives. I don't mean to sound elitist, but at the same time most people just want to get a job with a pension and health insurance, have their 2.5 kids and raise them in the suburbs with their white picket fence. What are they accomplishing? How are they furthering anything? Where are they leaving their mark? At the end of the day I think some people are just meant to be the workers of the world while others are mean to be the visionaries. Maybe it's the price we pay for having this potential. Who knows?
  3. @SoCalAce They're often found tending to their stable of unicorns. I don't mean to be negative about this it's just, people can't do that job. It's beyond the scope of the human condition.
  4. @mikeb6901 I know exactly what you're feeling. When I had enough of that misery business, I actually went and got a tattoo about three years ago, now, just under my collar bone. It says, "Wolves don't fear the opinions of sheep," in the mirror image so that I see it at least once a day. I've even been known to pop off to the bathroom, just to pull my collar aside to read it. It's helped immensely, maybe you could do something like that as a reminder?
  5. @sicofsociety I'm glad what I had to say helped you. It truly does mean a lot that my ramblings had a positive effect.
  6. Agreed with @lonelyforeigner. What I didn't say in my previous post is that I've also been overweight my entire life, and women have always liked me despite that and being terrifying, haha. I think it's because I know how to be charming, I make them laugh, and I don't let my weight get into my head. I think that's what you're issue really is @GAJ123. You let being short make a nice little nest inside your head and it lives there now, making the rest of your thoughts all nice and cozy to it's liking. Well screw that. Kick it out. It's a visitor not a permanent resident, like every other thought we have.
  7. @GAJ123 While it is a crappy attitude in the world, I wouldn't worry about it too much. You know why? There's always something. I'm what people would consider tall, 6'0 to 6'1 depending on what shoes I'm wearing. Do you know what puts women off about me? I am told I carry myself in a very aggressive way(which I promise I do not do on purpose). On a bad day, I once scared a woman into letting me cut into line, simply by approaching it. That's it. I walked up to the line to so that I could walk between the customers and a shelf to get to join the queue and she immediately said, "I don't want to mess with you," took a step back, and let me ahead of her. I actually laughed, and shook my head and tried to stop this whole fiasco but she insisted. Very strange day indeed. Other guys my height and weight are even put off by this from time to time. Apparently, if I don't smile like a politician on the campaign trail I'm too scary to date, haha. Granted, that's one of the funnier moments of this annoying thing I have to deal with, but it's true. Never forget, there is, and will always be, something that some people will not like about you that is completely out of your control. Yours seem to be the fact that your short, and mine seems to be that I carry myself in an aggressive way. In the end it's all six of one, half dozen of the other. In the end, nothing to worry about.
  8. I think you're looking at this the wrong way. I don't see that as choosing safety over risk, I see that as you're over and done with it. You're passed that, you've changed. You didn't close the door because you're afraid, you've closed that door because it simply isn't relevant to you anymore. I've grown past a lot of things, a lot of those things most people think that I'm missing out on. They simply don't realize that I've seen it already, and desire to go experience other things now. The only way you'd be too guarded to have a relationship with a significant other, is if that particular significant other has a problem with how much you are guarded. I have run into this many times in direct, and indirect experiences and I personally think it's born from immaturity. I think people in America, and by extension western society, are simply taught the wrong things when it comes to these issues. The only thing that matters in a romantic relationship is whether either person is happy with their significant other. Full stop. Don't worry about the details until you've got that person in front of you. I know a guy I'll call Frank. Frank had a relationship where he was madly in love with this woman whose family forced her to become a Born Again Christian and then leave him because he wouldn't also convert. He looked me dead in my eye that he said he was so hurt by that, that he wouldn't let anyone get that deep into his heart again. He went through the obligatory sleep with anything that moves phase, and then he eventually met his current wife, who he has two twin daughters with. He'll openly admit that he does not love his wife the way he loved that woman, but at the same time he's reasonably happy with his wife and life, and he loves his children more than anything. Most people, including Frank himself, thinks that he's somehow broken by the fact that he doesn't love his current wife the way he loved that woman. I'm inclined to think he simply doesn't have to. He has been there, he has done that. He doesn't need to experience that anymore. This is the kind of experience that comes from a painful circumstance. I have been in many circumstances where I've just simply shrugged and said to myself, "I have no desire to open that door again," not because I'm afraid, I just don't see the point.
  9. @sicofsociety as long as you don't actively wear a mask you're not playing a role, you're simply doing what you have to do. If you wore a mask they'd have the ability to claim that they have no idea what's going on. When they notice that certain things are happening, good or bad, and you look them dead in the eye and dismiss them from that part of your life, that's you taking your power back. I have a personal rule. If I can't have a conversation with someone about something heavy, then they aren't allowed into the sunnier parts of my personality either. That's not to say that I treat them badly, but they never get passed civility with me, and our interactions cease to be authentic. It's the equivalent of patting a toddler on the head and getting on with my day. I don't do this to punish them, I do it because I realized that they're not the type of people I want in my life. If it does inflict some kind of pain upon them (which I highly doubt) then that's just too bad. Swords cut both ways, despite the fact that people like to pretend that they don't.
  10. @sicofsociety Sorry it took me so long to respond, I've been beyond busy this week. And yes, I have wasted my time being honest with people who don't get it. Again, I don't bother with it or them anymore. I haven't been honest with anyone close to me in years. What's funny to me is that I truly don't think they noticed.
  11. @The_Unwanted Wait until your ship starts to come in. All those fools will be after you like white on rice. I've been experiencing that over the past year, and honestly, I want to go back to being ignored. It's insufferable, they're just so fake. It's amazing what people will do when they think they can capitalize off of you.
  12. This is going to sound cold, but, people like that are the reason I don't bother with having faith in others. I simply sit back and watch, everyone reveals themselves in time. Once you see what they're made of, you simply make the choice to either stay where you are, move forward with them, or back away entirely. Works pretty well for me. It's amazing the types of things people reveal about themselves without even realizing it.
  13. The one thing I feel they left out, is how to appreciate this from a different standpoint. You ever hear the expression, "Never be ashamed of the things you've survived?" Well I think that plays here. Yes, you made a mistake, yes, there's no way to go back, but there are other people out there man. Other friends, lovers, enemies, etc. This is just one more thing that adds to the legend of Kabuto. Some of them will be good, some of them will be bad, but at the same time, your stories your story. Do you realize that most people don't even put enough effort into life to either, A) Have a friendship, or B) to then ruin the friendship, through stupidity or other wise? It's just a sign you're getting out there and trying to make your mark on the world. As long as something adds to your legend, I would say it's a good thing. One little anecdote about Teddy Roosevelt. If I remember correctly, both his sister and mother died within a week or two of each other. Teddy was devastated by this. He took his hunting gear and disappeared into the Montana bandlands. No one expected him to return, thinking he intended to commit suicide out there, and maybe he did. About a month or so later, he returned to town after living off the land there and put things in motion to eventually become one of the most loved Presidents of the United States our country has ever had. He also went to great lengths to try and preserve the untouched wilderness of his country. Personally, I think he went out there to end it all, but something stopped him. I think he found clarity out there, and despite the ugly spot it left on his story, look at how far he went after he returned. Sometimes we need to do something a little ugly, so that we can do things that are even more beautiful. Whatever ugly we inadvertently do is merely a building block for something that comes later.
  14. Honestly, I think both @Catherine Glass and @Teddy545 hit it on the head there with the self-acceptance vs. self-rejection aspect. I didn't think of it in those terms until they spelled it out, but yes. 100% agreed. Thank you all for the satisfying answer to a very vexing question for me.
  15. @Gisele. Where did I make a moral judgment? I'm simply saying we are what we are, we're better off accepting it and dealing with it in a realistic way instead of making excuses to keep falling into the quagmire of our misdeeds. You can't change who you are at your core which is both good and bad. You can only decide to concentrate on the parts you choose to. @Catherine Glass I definitely like moving forward better.
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