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MarypoppinsIwish

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About MarypoppinsIwish

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    Female
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    London, UK

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  1. Thank you very much ?? I think you should definitely get a no contact order and it doesn't matter when it happened you should never have to see your abuser again and the law should back that up. Yes your father isn't doing what it best for his children so you have to do it for yourself it's best to Stay away I hope your brother is ok following seeing her! Its an awful situation you're in but you seem to be handling it brilliantly! Xxx
  2. Oh not at all I'm always happy to get a reply! Its so hard isn't it I think maybe some of it is ingrained and will always be that way I don't know and other times I think as long as the self hatred ends And the crippling anxiety and fear of judgement etc I think I could handle the rest xx
  3. Oh I can't imagine how hard this is for you bless you both and with your father being in ill health you're truly stuck between a rock and a hard place! I wish I could give you a fantastic piece of advice that would fix this for you what I would say and I hope you don't take this offensively to your dad but you were a child you did nothing wrong you are strong and you have overcome and triumphed where this evil woman tried to tear you down and your father is weak and has let you down I'm so sorry. I would say follow your heart and do what is best for you and what will leave you with fewest regrets don't cut your father out but at the same time make him understand that he can't expect you to be in the same room as her. I wish you well and hope you will update how it goes and that you are ok! You've overcome the odds abusers sometimes do it for the power but you are strong and powerful and she can never hurt you again remember that always xxxxx
  4. Firstly can I say I'm sorry for what you and your brother suffered at this woman's hands and I'm equally sorry that your traumas are being asked to be swept under the carpet! Could you possibly give a bit more background information to help us best advise you - are they still married? How long ago did they separate? Has there been any contact since did she ever confess to her abuse? How did you dad and her get back in contact? Although your dad knows about the abuse is he aware of exactly what you both suffered and how it has affected you and if you both sat him down and discussed it with him do you think he would see reason? This woman is your abuser bottom line do not be around her if it will trigger you or cause you any issues you are the victims! If they're not married then you maybe able to block her access to hospital room? You've been put in an extremely difficult situation but please don't take this the wrong way but it's not fair of your dad to do this to both you and your brother and I really think you should talk to him about what this is doing to you :0) xx
  5. I understood don't worry :0) I definitely know it's an illness but my point is that for those of us who have had it all our lives I guess do any of us know who we are without it? I dunno lol I'm just rambling away! :0)
  6. Start small - instead of wanting one good day find one good thing that happened in your day even something as simple as a nice dinner - don't focus on the bad that happened and continue like that letting the positivity in a bit at a time - easier said than done but my advice to you xx
  7. Just from my experience with thinking I should **** my self I tried and failed and now have the most precious creature in existence my 5 year old daughter - if I had succeeded she wouldn't be here and that thought terrifies me. Feel all the things you're feeling but please don't give up as something will change someday and you don't want to miss that! :0)
  8. Hello :0) Has anyone had depression/ anxiety / social anxiety/ agoraphobia etc for as long as they can remember? How do you know what is specific to your condition and what is just your personality? Because you've had the condition for so long it's part of who you are. Will I be Eeyore forever or will there be a significant change to my personality oncw I find the right meds? Will there be a happy ending - as long as I take the correct meds will I be normal? Is that a possibility? Am I just a loner in my personality or is it the above issues? Does anyone else think this?? Will I ever be able to just relax and have fun? Will I ever have energy?
  9. Hi :0) Highest point - my daughter the love of my life and the centre of my universe my everything I love her to infinity and beyond. Lowest - losing my dad when I was 19, the greatest man I've ever known with a heart of pure gold. I love him to infinity and beyond.
  10. I feel so mean getting upset with people and I can't say it to them so I just let it fester in me and it adds to my anxiety and depression. People know I find it hard to say no so they take advantage but I can't stick up for myself but at the same time it causes resentment in me- like work they caused my anxiety to peak and me to hit bottom by overworking me and instead of being supportive they were horrible about it like the fact I'm going through this is a weakness or like bunking but I'm not off getting my nails done I'm lying in bed wishing I could do anything else I would love to be able to get up and have a bath never mind anything else! My best friend of 18 years has recently been suffering from anxiety and I thought not that it's good but that maybe she would have more understanding for me because before she would get really weird with me anyway it was all about her the whole time and fair enough I was really supportive then she found out it was caused by something unrelated and took a pill and bam it was gone never to return again and I have hit rock bottom have been signed off work I can barely leave my house and I finally went to the doctor for help and felt proud of myself and she told me I shouldn't go on pills I'll get addicted and be on them forever and was really demeaning towards me and even after feeling the affects she's still not understanding or supportive and I don't know she just upsets me sometimes I have enough guilt internally please don't make me feel worse! Sorry if that didn't make any sense it was sort of a purge of what I've been keeping bottled sorry if I sound horrible!!!
  11. Hi Corbin :0) You asked how anyone can like you when you do nothing? But of course you do! The fact that you are a top contributor to this site proves you do something - people may not know you personally but you come here and you help others at the lowest points in their lives that makes you a good person and is a massive thing - you don't know how many lives you have changed or at least given hope to and that's invaluable! When you say it's lonely at the top do you feel like people think you just have it more together than them due to all the advice you give? Wishing you well xxx
  12. wow all these success stories are wonderful to read! I am definitely going to discuss this with my doc at next appointment!!
  13. Hi :0) Ive not felt depersonalisation and I definitely still feel emotions How have you been finding them?
  14. Hello :0) Congrats on the new job that's great to hear! I would be really interested as you are someone who has been on sertraline for such a long time if you don't mind me asking - do you remember the sort of timeline of when it started working and what changed first etc? Im 7 weeks in and I don't know if I'm being impatient or it just isn't working well for me I would be really interested to hear more about your 4.5 year journey! Thanks so much :0)
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