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bfg best freind guaranteed

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About bfg best freind guaranteed

  • Rank
    Junior Member
  • Birthday 03/08/1991

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  • Location
    somewhere out there
  • Interests
    So many things

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  1. Hobbies I had them all at one point, the list would be longer then the first post. The things that sound fun I can't afford to do I can't even afford to get an apartment let alone a house. I don't do sports anymore, one because I have a questionable knee (long story short we played tackle football in a gravel drive way instead of the soft grass and since then it has never been good) but the real reason is I hate my body and a thing I have that a man shouldn't have. Let's put it this way if I wanted a sex change I wouldn't need to get breast implants.
  2. I am giving up on having a real life. On having a real life being married, kids, a good house, on just being happy. What is the point, is there even a point? From this point on I am just going to live, wake up, work, eat, go home and then repeat. No one loves me and the ones that try I won't let them it's just a vicious circle. The moments of up are outweighed by the moments of down, the pendulum swings can last as long as a day or as short has 5 mins. In the end I just feel sick. Things got better after I changed jobs but now it's back to the way it was before. I don't hate working I just hate life. The people that said they would never leave left, and the people that need to leave won't. The people that you want to hear them say that one thing to keep you going stay quite, and the people that need to shut up won't. I know this goes all over the place that's because of my learning disabilities and my mind just simply not work the same way everyone else's does. I can't go straight from point 1 to 9 in a straight line, mine will go 1 to 5 to 3 then to 6 to 7 i will get to 9 but it takes me longer but I will see things people don't because of it. Last thing I still did not go blind from the eclipse, so ha take that science and your all knowingness.
  3. I am not blind. I saw a bright spot for awhile but it's gone now.
  4. I looked at the sun without glasses, so science tells me I am blind now. If I am blind it's very bright and seems pretty normal outside.
  5. I don't post much because I don't have much to say. I never want to be the person that just posts to have made a post, so if I feel I can't help then I don't say anything. My mind is tormenting me a lot lately. The things it's showing me hurt me so badly because it's things I want. Like a girlfriend or wife, a better place to live, a better vehicle that's not going to brake at any moment, just to be happy and loved by someone, but I am too disgusted with my body and that it's mainly my looks that I am alone. It's shows me those things when I am wake and when I am sleeping. The images projected make me worse about myself and the choices I have made. I am mentally ready for it to all end, I have already died mentally just my body has yet to shut off. Before anyone asks no I am not taking meds, no I am not seeing anyone. I just don't see a point anymore.
  6. Watching sporting events can be exciting, energetic, family time. It's all fun and games until Tom Brady and the Patriots show up then it's just upsetting. I look at them and I am filled with anger. Then when they win again I am filled with sadness that they won, like how they just won the super bowl. That's all I have to say is I really really dislike the Patriots and I always will.
  7. There are way more factors to what a person is drawn to or not drawn to. You make it sound that if you instantly grew over night that every women would just be instantly drawn to you. I am tall and taller then most but i do not find women attracted to me. But by the way you make it sound that I should have women complaint me and just want to be with me and want to know me. Well they don't, in my life I have had one girl friend and she dumped me for someone else who is shorter then me and older then me. Just because your short does not mean a women would not find you attractive. I have an uncle who stands at 5'5" he has been married twice (this time is the last time) but they have been married now now for 18 years. My aunt is taller then he is not by a whole lot but she is taller. So just because your short is not the only reason your alone.
  8. So as far as walking down a country road it would all depend on where you live. I have many country road where I will and I would be more then will to walk down those at 2am, with out a flashlight. But in places where there are bigger predatory animals those would be my biggest fear. Not some person or someone else. It's the point of most religions not judge other by how they look or dress but? I know that always doesn't work like that but still. You are making the problems worse then what they are.
  9. Looks do play a role but it depends on the person. Some people have a narrow set standards, then you have people with a wide range. But you said it no guy would be so judgmental and awful. When you do love someone you do over look and not notice flaws in someone. Be confident in who and what you are and you will find what your looking for.
  10. It was going to be what is the best Christmas gift you ever got. But why stop at just that, and some people do not celebrate Christmas. So what is the best gift you ever received? For me one of the greatest gifts I was given is a bonsai trees I got this year.
  11. Well that's one problem to I don't care about myself enough to seek help. I have tried to **** myself twice. If and or when I try again I know how I will do it. I don't want to see my birthday in a few months. That's why I will be forced to go.
  12. Well I don't 100 percent know if I will be forced but it is looking very likely that I will be. I will most likely lose my job if I go, and I can't afford for that to happen. I can't afford anything really. I have made so many wrong choices so far, that to make the right ones I can't afford them. It just makes me want to vanish into the void where people like me belong.
  13. So I am going to be forced to do something against my will that I don't want to do. I am going to be forced to go to a psy ward. I don't want to go but my family is going to make me soon. They are going to make me because I do not care about my life, and how much I hate myself. I don't want to continue with my life, does that truly mean I have to go. I just simply don't care about my life, and really why should I?
  14. I have a Christmas tomorrow with my family I am going to sit there and fake being happy. To a bunch of people that don't really care that much about me. But why would anyone care that blush about me when I don't care that much about me. Some times I wish life just had a shut off switch and like a light it goes out or a **** switch that when it's flipped it can't be undone.
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