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z_n

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  1. I'm going to keep this in mind going forward. I never considered that. Thank you so much for your input. As for my own mental health, I really don't know how to take care of myself, and I wonder if it really is important. I feel like everyone else has problems that needs to be addressed, and that mine will just go away. I honestly don't feel like most people care or think that the things I worry about important enough to talk about; they feel silly the second I talk about them. I feel like I'm actually very selfish and self-centered, and that that annoys a lot of people.
  2. Hi, guys! I've been struggling with something for a while now, and I've finally found the words the express it. I can't stand to be corrected. I constantly feel like I'm wrong about something, and whenever people point out a gap in my logic or that I'm wrong, my self esteem plummets. I feel like I'm extremely stupid and and that I misunderstand people all the time; I feel like everyone views me as an *****, and that no one will ever agree with me. I'm terrified of being told when I'm wrong, and I get irrationally upset with myself and other people. Whenever I talk to people, I try to point out that I'm probably wrong or that I probably don't understand so that it won't hurt as much when they offer constructive criticism. It ruins my mood completely, and I hate it. What I hate most is that it shows physically; I can't ever manage to hide my grimace and a smile too hard. My eye start to twitch and a shrink up. I recently turned in a writing assignment to my class, and my classmates are going to give their critiques to me in a few days. I don't know how I'm going to react when I get in the classroom; I'm afraid of exploding with a ton of excuses and leaving the room with tears. I know that it's irrational, because no one is ever always right and there's always room to be taught. But I just can't take it, and I don't know why.
  3. Thanks, guys; your words gave me a lot of comfort. I'm still learning how to identify toxic relationships from healthy ones, and it's especially hard to do when those friendships have lasted years and involve mental health. I just don't know how to approach it. Do I confront my friends? tell them how their actions impact me? I'm not really comfortable with dropping a friendship or ignoring people; I don't know how to let people go.
  4. Hi, Lisa! I'm new, too. I'm not grad level yet (i'm just a sophomore), but it sounds like you had to make a very difficult decision. You probably gave it a lot of thought and seriously weighed the advantages of graduate school against the risks. You made the choice you thought was best for you. There's no way anyone can tell you what would happen if you chose differently, but that doesn't mean that you can't make the most out of what you have now. It really sounds like you need a new adviser and a some more support. How are you spend your time outside of studies? Are you working toward a degree and job that you'd like to have? I can't tell you if you made the wrong or right choice, but life isn't always linear; you have other options, and more opportunities will come your way. It sounds like your friend cared a lot for you, but maybe not in the same way you did him. This doesn't mean that no one will ever return your feelings, and it doesn't mean that you don't deserve anyone's feelings. I can't imagine how hard and heavy that heartbreak is, but you can make it. What do you like to do? What do you want to get better at? A relationship may make your life more pleasurable, but it's not the only thing that can fulfill you; keep looking and keep your heart open, but remember to take the time to find yourself, too. Spend time strengthening your friendships; try to immerse yourself in new things. I know that it feels like absolute hell, but you have to believe it's not over yet. You sound as headstrong and independent as you say; I know you can make it! :) Welcome to DF, Lisa. I hope you benefit from your time here.
  5. Hi, everyone. This is the first time I've ever tried to use a forum. I don't know how these things work quite yet, so please forgive me if I do something wrong. A lot of my friends suffer from mental illnesses. This sometimes makes interactions with them a bit tricky, but all in all we've gotten accustomed to each other. But is it ever wrong to get upset with someone with a mental illness? I sent my friends a picture that I thought was interesting. I forgot that one friend was very sensitive to some material, and it triggered her; she exploded and told me to "**** off." She gets mad whenever I make a positive remark about her; she's said that people need to 'learn how to deal with her,' and she's very critical of herself and everyone else. She's made negative comments on my weight; when we were younger, she used to ask me if her thighs were smaller than mine and make comments on how she ate less than me. She's mentioned that she enjoys being smaller than all of her friends; whenever I call myself fat or ugly, she winds up agreeing. When I get upset, she just says that she's telling the truth, and that I said it first. On a social media site that we both used, I found that she mentioned that she sometimes wanted to hurt her friends, and she knew 'just how to do that.' I know that she's dealing with depression and an eating disorder, but I can't tell if her behavior is just a byproduct of her mental health, or if it's really a reflection of her character; I can't tell if I have any reason to be upset with her. She's helped me get through some serious things in the past, but recently interacting with her has felt toxic and draining. I have another friend who's suffering from very heavy depression. We sometimes talk about it, but it's becoming clear that I don't know how to help her. A few nights ago, I told her that I thought she needed to speak to a counselor because I couldn't help her with everything she was going through. She packed her bags and left the room angrily; a few minutes later, she sent me a text saying that she "came to me for comfort, and told [her that she] needed help." She's generally a great person to be around, bt gotten angry and snippy with me several times in the past, and I honestly don't know how to help her cope with her situation. Whenever I speak to my therapist or other people about my friends and how they impact my emotional health, they tell me that I just need to be patient with them and understand what they're going through. But I try to do that; I try to ask what's wrong, and how I can help them; but they get angry at me and say that I can't understand. Other people have told me that I'm just oversensitive and that I'm too fixated on my own feelings. I can't tell if I have a right to be upset with them, because I know that they're dealing with mental health issues, and I wonder if they aren't critical, I'm just too soft. They're not awful people, but sometimes they say and do very, very awful things to me and the other people in their life; the support is rarely returned. I hate to say it, but interacting with them is starting to get exhausting. I'm so used to being contracted and scolded that I don't expect new people and friends to treat me nicely. I honestly don't know what to do. Am I wrong for being upset with my friends? Am I doing something wrong? I know this is probably a mess, but I honestly cant think straight right now.
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