Depression and anxiety! They suck right..? Hell yeah they do. Do you know what else sucks? Being judged for suffering from them. It doesn’t make us any less of a person. It just means we have a battle we face every day.
I suffer from both myself and to be quite honest it can be a living hell. I have good and bad days. There are days when I don’t want to even get out of bed. I don’t want to talk to anyone. Do anything. I’d be quite happy staying curled up in my bed. Then there are days I like to get out. Visit people. Have a conversation. Go do a spot of shopping. The difficult thing is I never know when the good or bad days are going to hit. They aren’t planned. They can’t be controlled. If I could pencil them in on the calendar that would awesome but unfortunately it doesn’t work that way! Mental illness is unpredictable!
I have days when I can burst into tears for absolutely no reason at all. Which is sometimes a bit naff as if I’m out somewhere people have no idea what to do. I mean if a stranger just starts bawling in front of you what are you meant to do? Pass them a tissue? Give them a hug? Who knows eh? I also have days when I feel I can’t even leave my house. I try. But I get shaky and feel sick. I end up in a ball on the floor crying like an *****. I was only going to go to the shop for some milk, why is that so hard? Because it is. Simple as that. No other reason needed. Sometimes the slightest thing can set me off. If I’m doing the washing and can’t pair the socks up can tip me over the emotional edge. But that’s ok. If I need to cry it’s going to happen so I just let it. I’ll get myself together when I can. When I am ready and able to do so. Sometimes I want to have real conversations and cuddle my boyfriend. Other days I feel like screaming at anyone who dare even look at me.
Enough about me. I guess the point I am aimlessly trying to get at is it’s OK NOT TO BE OK! If you’re having a naff day so what. Have your naff day. Deal with it the best way you can. Be as strong as you can be but don’t feel bad if you’re not as strong as others around you. And get over it when you are ready to do so. Every single person is different. We all cope in our own way. Find what works for you. Maybe it’s watching a movie. Putting some music on and dancing like nobody is watching (that’s my fave) Sitting quietly with a cuppa. Scoffing on something with too many calories to count. Try as many ways as you want til you find what works! Do what you need to do, for you!!!
And now for the other point I’d like to attempt to get across. For those who are lucky enough not to suffer from a mental illness please pay attention. I am happy for you. Truly I am because I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. But we aren’t all so lucky. There are many that do suffer so just spare a thought will you. And try to remember if we could sort out heads out and pull ourselves together believe me we would. But it’s really not that simple. Be nice. Say a few nice words. Make someone a cuppa. You have no idea how big of a difference a small act can make.
That’s enough of my ramblings. I hope in some way this has made a decent point. Maybe helped someone in some way.
To those who fight the fight everyday.. You’re amazing. You’re a survivor. YOU ARE A WARRIOR!