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Everything posted by Kellyb79

  1. Thank you for listening. It's not a great feeling when others don't seem to want to hear what you have to say, or just dismiss it... Even those close to you. 😕Haven't felt that way here once.💕
  2. I've never realized how much all of you help, until I wasn't on here for quite some time. Not intentionally of course. But things, people, and life just happened. So I wasn't able to spend too much time on here for awhile. I'm doing ok, but anxiety is high yet again. I'm finding I'm handling certain things about anxiety a lot better, and some things not so much. Especially when stress levels are high for whatever reason(then panic attacks come into play as well 🙄) I've been seeing a therapist for a couple of months, so that's been helpful. But even a therapist can only understand these things to a certain point, unless they've been there themselves. All of you on the other hand.. You all get it.. Because you've been/are there. So I'm going to try to make a point to get on here as much as possible, so I can continue to have that extra support system of people who understand, in addition to therapy. Being on here, and talking with you all, and also listening and helping however I can, truly is amazing, helpful, and so appreciated. Thank you everyone for including me in this amazing group.
  3. Thank you. I really tried. Was up and down a lot, but got at least a little bit. Which is better than nothing. Except now I'm exhausted today.
  4. I'm not quite sure how I even feel right now. A mix of high strung anxiety, yet numb too. So much has happened in the past few days. I'll get into more tomorrow, for anyone willing to listen. Im just too tired tonight, but needed a quick vent before bed, as im hoping this mini vent of getting things off my chest will help me sleep at least a little. 😢Thank you guys. 💙
  5. Well... It's been awhile. I've had a lot going on, plus some internet problems. But it seems to be working for the moment at least. And I wanted to say hello, see how all of you were, and check in. Plus I just needed it. I hope you guys are doing ok. I'm gonna try my best to least get on here once a day if internet cooperates. All of you are great company, therapy, and support ❤️

    1. Natasha1
    2. Kellyb79


      Thanks . I really needed that. Thank you for the support, even though I haven't been on much in awhile. I've missed this group full of such understanding caring people.

  6. Thank you. And welcome to the page. This is an ending page, with an amazing group of people. I'm sorry you've had to desk with these as well, and especially for so long. But we totally get it. Thank you for the book suggestions. I will most definitely be looking into those, and will let you know if I have any trouble. Take care of yourself
  7. Well that sucks, but I guess that sorta makes sense. I hope you won't have to deal with those at all someday(as I hope for everyone on here). In the meantime, we'll all just have to help each other through those moments.
  8. @Lunachick,I had my first panic attack when I was about 13. They got so bad that I couldn't even leave the house, but with some medication, they finally chilled out a bit after awhile. Since then, I'd have some here and there, mainly when I'm dealing with a lot of stress, and over anxious. I'm on xanax as needed, and that's been for awhile. And I'm now also into my 3rd month of. lexipro which I'm still trying to figure out how I feel about it, and what it's doing for help and how much. I hope things get better for you. I know things could always be worse, but I know how bad these suck. @Diego_Sebastian, I'm glad you've never had to deal with a panic attack, but if you ever do for any reason, you know you have people here that can relate. So you are definitely not alone. Panic attacks or not though, anxiety as a while sucks as it is. It's very emotionally and mentally draining, and can feel scary. We're all here for you. @lonelyforeigner, I'm happy to know that things have gotten better for you as far as the panic attacks go. But I'm sorry that you still have to deal with the anxiety at all. Good for you for not letting it control your life. I try not to let out control mine, but as you already know, sometimes it's easier said than done. But I'll keep trying every day. Thank you all for your kind words, and thank you for being here to listen while I'm feeling like this tonight. Well, just in general lately. It's just a little high tonight.
  9. Thank you. I'll be on as much as possible. I've really missed and needed this group. I knew this page/group helped me, but I didn't realize how much until I was off for a bit.
  10. I haven't been on in quite awhile. Not to avoid the page or group buy any means, as you've all been nothing but helpful since I joined. I guess I've just been in a major funk for the past month or so, plus I've had a lot going on. I know the best thing to do when I feel that way is to hop on here, as it seemed to help the most. But for some reason I didn't. I don't even know why. But I'm realizing now that I should've, every time a funk hit. Overall I'm doing ok I suppose. But I still feel like an emotional wreck quite a bit. I'm still anxious every single day. Especially in the morning. Sometimes I feel something triggered it, and other times it still strikes out of the blue. And though not every single night, in waking up in the middle of the night with panic attacks too. Sometimes 2-3 times a night. Racing heart, can't breathe, shaking. Ya know, typical panic attack stuff. And dreams.. My dreams have been so jacked lately. Rarely are they good ones. So of course I'm not sleeping right. And then there's the fact that my mind feels like it's going 5000 directions at once, at 5000 mph. So I can't ever focus on anything, or remember anything for that matter. Ugh. I know I've had anxiety for years, and depression for a bit too now. But wth. Will the panicky feeling and attacks ever go away? It's ridiculous. It's annoying, and it's exhausting. Anyway, sorry for the babble. Just haven't vented on here in awhile, and felt I needed to. At least when I got on here one a day minimum, I felt just a little less on edge. So I need to make it a point to do that every day again, even for a few minutes. Thank you all for always being here and listening to me. I have people who are there for me and try their best to understand what it's like, but they just can't. Which I can't blame them. Unless you deal with it first hand, you really can't understand.
  11. Hi everyone. I just wanna say that for anyone that has wondered about me in the past month or so, I didn't mean to disappear or worry any of you. I've had a lot going on, and a lot on my mind. Which you'd think would click in my head that I need to get on here at those times even more. But for some reason I didn't. I've still been feeling super anxious with panic attacks day and middle of the night, though not every single day/night. So I guess that's a plus. And my head is always still going in what feels like 5000 directions and 5000 mph every day, so it's hard to put actual focus on anything if that makes sense. On the bright side, my boyfriend has helped me with this stuff a lot.I stay with him now, so he's with me day to day in my moments. He may not understand them, but he does his best to try. That in itself helps some. Idk. I just feel really overwhelmed still. No motivation most days, not in a sad mood or anything.. just not feeling like doing anything. And that's not me. I'm still on my lexipro, trying to give that more of a chance, and I joined an anxiety/depression group at my church once a week. So I am still trying to get a grip on this stuff the best I can. Anyway, I'm gonna try to be on here more, as it's helped me since day one to talk to all of you. I just want you to know that if I don't get on for awhile, it don't respond right away, that I'm not ignoring you. I hope all of you are doing OK. Ive thought about everyone on here even when I wasnt on myself. 

  12. Merry Christmas!! ? Thank you for your support. It means a lot. I too love/do those things. I need to make it a point to do them daily, or as often as possible though. I've kind of been in this funk lately, so I've been less motivated. I actually just got a new journal today. So maybe I'll start back with that right away. I've never had an anxiety workbook though. Where can I find those?
  13. Just needed to vent for a minute. Anxiety is sky high almost daily anymore, panic attacks have increased just in the last week alone, not sleeping(even with new sleeping pill from my Dr), and trying to work through this new thing of self harm(only handful of times within the past month since it started(though not often, is too much at all).And I'm just ready to cry. I have been pretty swamped the past few days, so I haven't been on much, but I'm realizing how much of a difference it makes on the days I don't get on here. All of you really are a blessing that help me so much. I'll be on more over the next few days, and look forward to catching up with all of you. I how everyone is ok. Just know I appreciate all of you. And I hope you're all doing well. ♡
  14. I always always try to be grateful for everything and everyone in my life, even when they're are rough patches I'm dealing with at the time, as there are so many people that have it way worse. But I gotta say, this anxiety/depression/self harm combo stuff that I'm trying to work through is frustrating and exhausting as hell. The anxiety I can handle for the most part, as I've dealt with it for years. But having depression, and this new self harm thing(only a handful of times, but a handful too many) on top of it is a whole other thing that I'm just not used to dealing with. I know I can get through it, it's just so frustrating, and makes you feel broken inside. And I've been swamped lately, so I haven't been on much, but I'll be on more in the next couple days, because my schedule won't be so hectic for a little bit at least. And I've noticed the heightened anxiety since not being on here every day. All of you just really help me a lot, and I just wanna say thank you. I hope all of you are doing ok♡

    1. Natasha1


      see more of you soon!!

    2. carter_burn1


      I hope you find some relief and peace soon, because you're a good kid and you deserve it!

  15. Thank you so much. I was actually just put on something for sleep from my doctor. I just started it tonight, so we'll see. He also has me on Lexapro since Halloween, but that's just making my anxiety/panic attacks more frequent and worse. So he's looking for something else to try. He's hoping the next medicine(like lexapro was supposed to do), will act as more of a preventative day to day thing to lesson the high anxiety/ depression overall. And that the trazadone(sleeping pill) can help with sleep until we get it all balanced. As he thinks the high anxiety is probably why I'm having trouble sleeping to begin with. So we'll see
  16. I know you all know what I'm talking about. Constantly on edge, and panicky, making you wanna escape wherever you are right then.. Yet just not wanting to do anything but stay in bed at the same time. This combo makes sleep almost impossible for me, but wipes me out so much, that I feel I could sleep for a week, because of all the sleep I'm not getting. If that makes sense. Plus I'm having dreams that are all over the place, and am up and down every night. Just ridiculous. This is exhausting
  17. I love you guys for being here with me. I think you're exactly what I need to help me get back on track. I just have to give it time,I know. I'm just so frustrated, because this feeling sucks. Especially when it's going through a time where it's constant. I know you all understand. And I'm not trying to complain, or bring anyone else down this morning. I just really needed some distraction this morning(especially since I have to work in a bit),and all of you are the best kind. Thank you for listening.
  18. Am I allowed to do that? I thought I had to be on here for a certain amount of time for that? I'm still learning my way around here a bit. I know how to find posts and how to message. But that's about it. Lol
  19. @Halfmoon, @Natasha1, and @sober4life..idk why, but I didn't even get a notification for these. I just came across them when I saw my post on the thread. I checked my settings, and they're turned on, but idk. I'll check them again. Anyway, my panic attacks don't usually seem to last long for the most part. But some days they feel like they drag on. Especially lately. It sucks. Xanax has always worked well for me when it comes to calming down the high anxiety moments/panic attacks. Well.. For the most part anyway. Sometimes it feels like it doesn't touch it. But it depends on the day and the attack if that makes sense. Running and exercise in general help my anxiety some too, so I do that when I can. I've heard yoga can help. So that may be worth a shot as well. I just don't know anymore.
  20. Thank you for understanding. And I hope you feel better soon. I definitely get how doing nothing makes your mind race more. Sounds like we both needed a distraction today.
  21. Don't mind my babble please. Idk why I'm freaking out so much lately. And I woke up at 5am to a panic attack too. What a way to start the day. Grr. Anyway, I'm sorry to complain. I know many people have it way worse than these panic attacks and low moments. I'm just frustrated.
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