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mmoose

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mmoose last won the day on November 14 2017

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About mmoose

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  • Birthday 02/26/1969

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    Minnesota

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  1. mmoose

    Struggles

    Hi DG007, Assumptions are interesting things. From your original post, I would have assumed what you confirmed in your followup (to mine) But, I don't like assumptions. I like verification when I can get it. And it is interesting to see what assumptions other people have. And, if they have challenged their assumptions of life. And, don't take me too seriously of course. I'm just a stranger on the internet. And, only consider anything I say if you are currently strong. If you are just hanging on and this is your last thread...don't listen to anything I say here. And, you have no need to apologize for anythign you said. It's all good. And, never tell me I'm right. My friends will tell you how dangerous that can be You list some things that you were taught. I was taught many things also. I am currently in a journey to challenge these things I was taught. These are assumptions of life. Some seem to be true. Some seem to be false. Some seem to be helpful. Some end up being lies we tell ourselves for various reasons. And hey, if we have to lie to ourselves to survive another day...there are worst things in this world. " one thing I do know is God is with me and watching me " Knowing seems to be a funny thing also. When I read this statement, I read it as "believe" instead of "know". But that is my failing. Of course, everyone is entitled to their beliefs. Have you ever watched the movie Dogma? One of the themes I enjoy there is the statement about "belief". It is not bad to 'believe' something. But, what happens is our limited human brains believe one thing, but then we learn better the next day? How do we rectify our new learning with our beliefs? If we change our beliefs, that could be considered a betrayal. So instead, have ideas. Ideas are easier to change without "losing faith". (which has it's own interesting conversations) Of the things you were taught, which do you still believe to be true? How many of them have you challenged? (really challenged. Again, only consider if you are in a strong place now) If we have to assign a gender to god, why is it not female? But I'm going off topic. Why are you on this forum? Good question. Sometimes the key is in asking the right question, not finding the answer. But, I am glad you are here. Your writing is interesting. Hope you stick around.
  2. mmoose

    Struggles

    " The difference maybe is our awareness. Or that we actually know the reason why we are here alive on this earth " I have seen atheist/agnostics that have great senses of purpose. And I have seen "religious" people of different faiths have none. So I'm not sure what you are implying with your statement (which side you may be on) " every suffering we receive from God is good " I marvel at the mental gymnastics one goes thru to justify EVERY thing in the world being "good". 'Everything happens for a reason", "silver lining" ? Maybe. But then, maybe not. Everything everything? I would debate this (friendly) in person. But I don't want to reduce anyone else's 'faith' with my different perspectives. If faith in god is the only thing someone has, who am I to take that last thing away from someone else? For me, it's not about "what happens in life", more my perspective about it. Good things happen. Bad things happen. Some of us dwell on the negative. Others celebrate every stupid little thing. I am different, for whatever reason. It is up to me to deal with it, manage life, and see what happens.
  3. mmoose

    Living without Sex

    Emotional intimacy, physical intimacy, physical interaction (and validation) For such a small three letter word, it sure does cover a lot of territory and mean very different things to different people. Sounds like the original question is on the more physical side. Also, big difference between the male and female perspectives. Can we learn to live without? Sure. People can adapt with to a lot. Does that mean it is healthy? Does that mean we are happy about it? Just become happy? Kinda asking the wrong audience here... But I do not think of "happy" as a state of being like you described. Even in a long term relationship, frequency of sex is a mediocre indicator of the relationship status. (sure, easy to measure but it means so many different things to different people) But yes, many meds have side effects that impact "libido". But then depression itself ain't that sexy to start with.
  4. mmoose

    Sleeping On The Couch...

    Impressive thread dredge. Well, double dredge. (checking to see if any of the original 2009 members are still around besides me)
  5. mmoose

    Should I be alive?

    Existance can be mindboggling. Philosophy is an interesting subject, but an excersize of frustration most of the time. We don't know what going to happen tomorrow. There are so many things outside our control. But maybe, tomorrow, I might figure out some small thing that helps, that helps someone else. Or something I can change about me that helps me cope with this big world, or gives me a sense of purpose. (and I must say, your post does not sound like you are stupid. Well written and better than most of the internet posts...I'd challenge those preconceptions. Not everyone who does well in school is "smart" and conversely, not everyone who struggles is "stupid". We all learn differently. )
  6. mmoose

    Coming out.

    Hi nminc, Welcome to DF. Who and how is just as important as the actual words. Those you trust the most should be caring enough to listen to you and try to help. But, different people react differently. Try not to blame them if they are weak. Not everyone can handle these things. I think it is ok to say "No, I'm not ok". I think everyone in life needs help sometime. Being able to ask for that help can be hard though. But saying "yea, I'm ok" is such reflex (and an empty self defeating one at that) If someone you trust asks again, can you reply with "I'm thinking that I could use some help. Professional help" And maybe they can help you find that. Or, ask about insurance. Some insurance may be in play and covers (or does not cover) the cost of professional visit. Just asking about that will get the ball rolling. I might be able to give more ideas if we knew a little bit more about you and your situation. But just coming here is a good step. (good practice for having a face to face conversation with someone)
  7. mmoose

    clean since late monday night.

    Hello SiGR, Congratulations on sobriety. Good luck as you move forward. Maybe, post in the 'relgion' subforum, might get some different members viewing there. Researching a church...sound like you want more "internet user reviews of specific churches". That should be interesting. I can't imagine many folks actually writing negative reviews and putting their name on it. I just don't think many will verbally admit that there are any problems with church or religion...just smile and say all the usual "good stuff". I'd suggest to start with your personal beliefs (if you have some strong ones) I web searched "match me with a church" and there are some things out there (of course there are, it's the internet after all) But, I would really just show up to a service, look and listen. If the atmosphere and theology is right, then start talking to some people. I've gone hunting for local churches over time and can't say I have found one really "inspiring". It's more a "which do I least object to"....but religion is a very personal thing. m
  8. mmoose

    People at volunteering making me feel bad

    Sometimes, other people have their own problems and don't remember that they can trigger you on certain conversations...We can only try to treat them as we wish to be treated when the roles reverse. "Immune" is a great goal. It takes time to build the skills to deal with other people. It takes time and effort "learing to deal with people" and it's always learning...or you can become callous and be immune, but that also means not really listening to what they say (sometimes) "Friend"' had a birthday. You gave a card. Very nice. But it did not give the reaction you hoped. Disappointment. How would you have like to handle it? Immediate reactions can be great and diffuse a situation. But I tend repress so as to not say something that makes matters worse. But afterwards, I usually find something good. "money in a birthday card? sorry, I thoght you were turning 36, not 6 years old...." is from the more vengeful side of me (and then pull out the wallet and hand them the smallest bill, turn around and leave without saying anything...like I said, vengeful) . The "sorry, money is tight right now" always works and is less about them. If the place is toxic to you, you cannot control that. Then it is weighing the positives vs the negatives. And I think it is ok to talk to some folks there and "I am considering other things because this place is not very friendly..." Maybe someone will listen, maybe they won't.
  9. mmoose

    Kublai Khan

    Well, if you have not taken a break yet, and need to talk, pm if you'd like.
  10. mmoose

    Kublai Khan

    It's been a couple days. How ya holding up G? (it's ok to miss him. It's even better to be envious as long as we admit it!)
  11. mmoose

    :(

    Yea, we all need friends. Especially those that can empathize and not judge. Good friends around here. (although, we do have some limitations, like dealing with our own sh!t time to time...)
  12. mmoose

    Kick-to-Kick

    Oh my. Shaking head in judgement of +4km/h. Tsk tsk. Ah, the paradox, the conflict of thought, the rational and irrational of the situations. The things said being so much greater than the things left unsaid. I missed you. Just listening to a friend in need is great. Maybe leaving her speechless is even better. Or, the power of a well placed single word expletive as a 'lack of response'...but I bet you have experience there. (I do have to ask...have you rewarded yourself with a deserved new pair of shoes?)
  13. mmoose

    Rejected

    Hello Nhaar, I'm here because of my conditions. But I am also a parent of two (adult) children with their own conditions. I don't know you well. I certainly don't know your parents. Maybe they don't know how to help. Maybe they have tried all they know and are just as frustrated. I hope that your family would always listen, even when they don't have the answers. But it can be very hard for our family and friends to help us or even listen to us sometimes. I try to not judge my friends and family harshly, they have their limits too. They have their own issues to deal with. I have to remember that and give to them also. And, thank them for listening to me when I need someone to just listen. Sometimes, our needs exceed what family can give. Professionals have a role to play. Maybe keeping the roles separate can help?
  14. mmoose

    The Couch

    Was "last night" harder because a pet name 'normalized' the situation? This has become the new normal? It's been accepted and not just part of a temporary thing?
  15. mmoose

    Random

    We are (mostly) human here. Not quite the same as one-on-one communications, but there can be more of us. Try us out. If I'm not human enough, let me know (I'm working on that) m
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