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Everything posted by sunblocker64

  1. The brain/gut relationship is one that's fairly well-documented. It could be that these illnesses are causing such stress on you that they're actually damaging your digestive system. I was on Zoloft for three years and it was never enough. All the stress caused my gallbladder to stop functioning properly and gave me bad acid reflux (which all but destroyed my esophagus) and irritable bowel syndrome. I was on 150 to 300 mg of Effexor for a year and it never gave me GI issues I could directly connect to it. I did always take it on a full stomach, though. I'm on Pristiq now (another SNRI) and it makes me crazy nauseous. I currently take it at bedtime, which is when I take my ambien, which I have to take on an empty stomach. I've been planning on trying to take it a little earlier every day until I find a time that works, but I have just about no schedule, so we'll see how that actually goes. I hope this helps!!
  2. This is something I've dealt with in the past as well and I am really proud of you for speaking up. I never have. I always felt ashamed of it, like it was stupid for affecting me so seriously. But it does. To be honest, the best solution I've found is to cut him out of your life. Unfollow *every* tumblr and twitter account related to him. Take down the posters, don't listen to his music, delete the photos. It hurts and it's difficult but I swear, I swear to you--it well help. You will feel lost. It will still make you sick to your stomach. You will still occasionally see him on gossip rags at Walmart. But the more you get away, the better off you'll be. You can even find an app or extension (depending on what browser you use) that changes words, so you can change his name. Spend some time away from the social internet, if you can. Read books or listen to other music or make friendship bracelets while you watch netflix. Find something to fix your mind on. I hope this helps <3
  3. I've tried Zoloft (sertraline), Effexor (venlafaxine), and Pristiq (desvenlafaxine) over the past 5 years and at this point, I feel like my GP is just choosing a med and hoping it will work. Then I wait six or seven weeks and usually it doesn't work and I don't have the guts to call my GP and say hey, it's not doing anything. Is there some kind of testing that can be done to determine how severe my depression is? I was high-functioning for a long time and (like most of us) I've gotten really good at hiding how depressed I am. The thing is, as it gets worse and worse, there's more and more to hide and it gets harder and harder. I'm having to quit my job and back out of responsibilities and blow people off because I can't handle this--is there some sort of test that can say yes, you are definitely depressed to x degree and we should try treatments x, y, and z to make it better?
  4. I am a music teacher. It is an extremely stressful, high-pressure, highly social, high-responsibility job. I graduated in May and every moment since has been hell. I finally found a part-time job working on Fridays. I hated it at first. I was offered another part-time job two weeks into the job I hated and I accepted it, being familiar with the situation of the school and thinking god, it couldn't be any worse. But it was worse. So much worse. So much so that I quit after my third week there. I went in one more day and made it through two periods without the constant feeling I was going to break down and cry. I hated it. Quitting was the best thing I ever did. I felt better... until some responsibilities of that split cropped back up today and even though all I had to do was send in a letter and arrange for some transfer of supplies between schools, I broke right down again. I was supposed to be a sub on Monday, but I cancelled it Sunday afternoon 1. because I do have bronchitis, but mostly 2. because I was scared. It was a middle school math class. I don't know if I can handle subbing outside of music. This week has made me wonder if I can even handle my one-day-a-week teaching job. And I certainly can't do this full-time unless I'm not so miserably depressed. I've been dealing with depression for 9 years. I am 22 years old. I should have a life ahead of me. My question is: is there a type of job I can do that is kind of menial and largely autonomous? I'm looking for something like data entry or record keeping or something that has clear instructions, doesn't require a lot of creativity/ responsibility, doesn't require a lot of training, and lets me keep to myself. I make and sell jewelry, but it's still kind of in the start-up phase and I can't live on $4,000 a year with no benefits (what my part-time teaching job pays). I need something to fill my days and give me some sense of purpose because right now I have none. None. None.
  5. I started taking medication for major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder five years ago. I started with 50mg of Zoloft and spent over two years increasing the dosage until I was at the max and it still wasn't working. Then I started on Effexor; I eventually went up to 300mg of that and it felt like it was holding my head underwater--I became this irritable, angry, negative, hateful person who just wanted to die. I've been on Pristiq for a few months (I was at 50 mg for a month and it didn't help; I've been at 100 mg for over a month now) and now I'm weepy and crying all the time. I constantly have feelings of impending doom. I feel worthless. I have no mental energy (I am a teacher and had to quit my part time teaching job because I was going to break down crying in front of the students; I just had nothing left to give them). I have no social energy (I had a good day for the first time in months yesterday but I went to a soccer game and had a band rehearsal and that tapped me out so badly that I'm having an awful day today). I don't enjoy things. I can't imagine myself living much longer--like, I can't imagine where I'll be in 50 years because I think God, I don't have the mental faculty to keep living that long. I just feel like I should die. I don't want to die, not all the time, but I feel like I should. I am so sick of taking pills that don't make anything better but make things a lot, lot worse if I stop taking them. My doctor is just a family practitioner and I'm tired of going there and waiting five weeks to see if whatever he picked is going to help. I went to a psychiatrist and he just told me to stop drinking caffeine (which I did two weeks ago, and guess what? I'm still miserable). What do I do?
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