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Everything posted by gs22

  1. I agree with the responses above. I've been through what you're going through, it's only heartache and your relationship is unlikely to get better, regardless of any effort on your part. I went through something similar once with a guy treating me the same way, in and out, on his terms. At one point, I had finally had enough and dumped the guy. I was sure I would miss him and feel sad but I didn't. You're already ok on your own.
  2. @Natasha1 hope you’re feeling a little better, know how panic feels like, it’s the worst. Been feeling that myself.
  3. That makes two of us, have been eating much less, but I can't work out, used to regularly til I suffered an injury. Both depression and anxiety can lead to weight loss (or gain) and can make it very hard to stay motivated to keep fit. Even if the weight loss is welcome, what's not healthy is the loss of muscle mass. Since you're working out, at least you can maintain your gains. When I don't get exercise, my anxiety is much worse than my usual. I'm suggesting to you what I can't do very well for myself, eating enough and exercising. I'm also demoralized by my physical pain. Others here have said this far better than me, we're here for you, so lean on us whenever you need to.
  4. @johnson0909 I know what that's like to feel alone and isolated, not having anyone to talk to or count on. It's how I feel these days, it's an awful feeling. You need to take care of yourself first, try your best to eat properly, exercise and get rest. It's hard to find a girl when you're coping with so much. It may not just be that not being able to find a girl is making you more depressed but also not feeling that you're being supported by those you usually count on. I've heard many people here say they can't find a girl or don't know where to meet girls. It's easier when you're able to be more socially active and have the mindset to be so. In the meantime, look after yourself, I know how hard this can be. I mentioned the how do you feel right now? thread since it's a quick way to get to know and interact with many members, and perhaps lessen that alone feeling. That's the thread I usually post on while trying to support others here and there. I wish I knew how to help you, how to alleviate your pain. I've been on here for some time and still feel at a loss as to what to say when I see someone in distress.
  5. Yeah, sorry, I should have said, HeatherG, exactly, you took the words right out of my mouth. I'm having trouble concentrating due to my racing mind, it's taking a long time for me to write.
  6. @johnson0909 I'm sorry it's been a rough day for you. It's not uncommon for parents to be at a loss as to what to say or do when their kid is suffering, or for someone to find it hard to talk to a parent. I always had a hard time confiding in my parents, they just seemed too busy with a lot of responsibilities for me to be able to open up to them. I didn't want to disrupt their lives and scare them, as well. Right now, I have few people that I can talk to, so this place has been helpful. If you need to talk, you can always post here, or if you prefer, you can post in the popular thread, how do you feel right now?
  7. Many people who come here have said something similar, as in, others have it worse, so I know I have no right to complain (something to that effect). But we each have our own reality and still have to deal with our mental or physical pain. We all need support, and how can we get it if no one knows something is bothering us?
  8. Johnson0909, you're not alone with the awful things that have been happening to you. I know what it's like to feel depressed every day and to feel worthless, and it doesn't help to compare yourself to those around you, which is what those who are depressed tend to do. I also know what it's like to have a parent, in my case, both parents, diagnosed with cancer, and to see them suffer. It's very draining and no matter what else you're up to, it's always on your mind, at least it has been for me. You don't need to put pressure on yourself to be a big tough guy. You're a human being with feelings who's in need of support. I see this forum as a soft place to fall, and hope that you'll see this place that way, too.
  9. Thanks for asking. I am not any better and feeling so overwhelmed.
  10. I've been so anxious, I'm barely eating. My ocd, which is about thoughts, is the most awful bout I've ever had. I also have no one to talk to or count on. I wish I didn't worry so much. I'm finding life harder and harder, kind of like how @LonelyHiker describes it, but due to anxiety. I cannot believe how poorly I've been feeling. It's inhumane.
  11. Nic1991, I think I have an idea how you feel. Many times when I was in deep distress, I wished I could have confided in my mother. But I rarely tried, thinking that she wouldn't be up to listening to me. Maybe I should have tried harder. It's only natural that you need the support of your mum. Maybe she doesn't know what to say, or she's too scared to listen to you, but I'm only guessing. I think this is how my own mother was. She did not understand depression and I would have been at a loss as to how to explain what I was going through even if I had made an effort. I feel at a loss as to what to say to you, but wanted you to know I empathize with you.
  12. Unfortunately, the pain has spread throughout my arm, so I'll call the doctor's office to let them know. I feel so demoralized.
  13. I'm so glad. It's good to get ideas from people here. You can pick and choose where you're able to.
  14. I'm in agony, have to wait to til Monday to call for a referral; the relaxants have no effect, at least I don't think, so I'm just using the gel. I know others here are in a lot of anguish, I'm giving you all hugs, if you can accept a one arm hug (can't lift my left arm). That's awful! I wish I could cry, but can't get it out.
  15. Thank you, HeatherG, and by the way, nice to meet you. I’ve read some of your posts, you’re so supportive. The xrays came back negative, so whatever’s causing the cough and sinusitis, I can’t do anything about. The gel is helping, not sure about the muscle relaxant (the pills). Yeah, being in physical distress and the anxiety over that combined with my regular anxiety is just downright miserable. Thanks for your support.
  16. Oh, RiverLight, I’m sorry you’re in such pain, don’t like seeing such a wonderful person suffer. You’re not a failure, I can’t believe you think that. We need to keep supporting one another.
  17. So my xrays came back normal. I forgot to remind the doctor’s office about a referral for a massage therapist for my back. The gel is helping more than the pills.
  18. Thank you, RiverLight. Have a good idea of how you feel, I’m in agony.
  19. Been following this thread, miss you guys! I have been in a lot of physical pain (my back) and saw the doctor today; he prescribed me some pills and a gel, and I’ll also need to see a massage therapist. My pain won’t go away on its own. Also had some xrays done and will find out the results tomorrow. It’s bad enough that I suffer from anxiety, including health anxiety, didn’t need this. @HeatherG hope you find a psychologist that suits you; no need to apologize for swearing. @salparadise6132 your posts are heartwarming; I actually have a Freudian mouse pad. I read further back about the abuse you suffered, and I’m sorry to hear about what you went through. @RiverLight that’s a lot of pressure you’re dealing with, no wonder you’re panicking; it’s going to sort itself out. You’re smart and competent and have a really nice personality. All these traits are helpful to you. I’ve taken computer tests when applying for jobs, and found it a total waste of time; anything I didn’t know could be learned on the job. I’m in so much discomfort, and can barely sleep because of it and my mind is racing. Can’t take another dose for a few hours. Just wanted you guys, all of you beautiful souls, to know that I’m thinking of you!
  20. I can’t begin to tell you how much I can relate to what you’ve written so beautifully. I also miss my childhood and the times when we (my parents and siblings) were all together, with my mom still living and I was a kid. I can barely look at photos, still finding it painful to see her lovely face in them and crying when I do. I have been missing my mom deeply lately, and have too many memories to begin to make sense of. My family has not been the same either, my dad has been depressed, or more than usual, and both he and my siblings have been harder to deal with. You’re doing the best you can, as am I, that’s how I see it. When my mom was dying, she told me two things, that she would always be in my heart, and that all she wanted was for me to be emotionally secure and safe. That’s all she cared about. A mother’s love for her child is always there. Your mum’s love for you will always be with you. She nurtured you, took care of you and loved you. Reading your posts has been a source of help and comfort to me.
  21. I’m so sorry for your loss and your pain. Me, too, I lost my mother. After more than three years, I know that the pain does not go away. I have a lot of photos of her, and memories, of course. I can also relate to how you feel about seeing yourself as unsuccessful, and having failed your mother’s expectations in this way. I know how painful pictures can be. They’re strange, in a way. They capture a very narrow moment in time, and sometimes, it’s hard to believe that that moment ever happened. To be honest, I haven’t looked at pictures of my mother, except for a very few more recent ones that others have of her. Try to remember this, your mum will always be in your heart. I hope you can find even a little bit of consolation in this. Please feel free to reach out anytime.
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