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kmb2010's Achievements


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  1. Lookup1430: thanks for your reply! I did not think of that before, but I will keep that in mind Christopp: I don't mean to sound defensive here, but I feel you made a lot of assumptions about me just now. I have an apartment, a car, a job, and i'm fairly stable with my finances. I also think you assume I'm not working on myself, when I'm in fact doing just that about everyday by doing my best at work, exercising, eating healthy, and practice my music/writing. I'm really being as honest with myself and the world when I say I could make, at the least , a decent boyfriend right now if I had the chance. I also do my best to enjoy being a bachelor as much as I can... and I realize I'm still young... but I'm honestly a little tired of it and wouldn't mind committing to a relationship at this point in my life... You are right though... for a long time I've tried to get a girlfriend thinking she can be my therapist too. I've realized for some time now I can't do that and that's why I'm seeking a therapist first and a girlfriend second right now. take care.
  2. Hey folks, feeling pretty frustrated and down on myself today. I've been struggling with work, trying to figure out how I can get health insurance so I can see a therapist. I did make some headway, though. I spoke with someone that guided me a little more through the process so I feel a little better about that. I've also just been really depressed because I invited a female coworker over the other night and she didn't show. It's not like she owed that to me, or that I'm crushing on her hard or anything like that... just been really lonely lately and wanted to hang with someone. Now , I really just want to get some therapy and work through some things so I don't feel so worthless and I feel like I can get out and meet people again. It's just been especially bad the past few weeks... but hey, I'm alive and I still have some sort of hope left that things might be better one day. Hope everyone's doing well today! and I wish you the best , babyxgothxx. Take care!
  3. Hey there. I'm a 28 year old guy and I've been struggling with depression for most of my life it feels like. I think it's affected my relationships and love life the most over the years. I hardly date or ask anyone out and it seems to be related to my feelings of helplessness or worthlessness that I can't seem to shake. I've had about 5 or 6 girlfriends over my life, and these relationships have only lasted a few weeks or so at most. I'm really trying to seek therapy, but I'm between health insurance providers at the moment and my work is kinda dragging their feet to help me... I guess I just needed to vent a little since I'm especially down today. Hope everyone out there is doing well and having a better day, take care!
  4. It's really cold and snowy where I'm at right now... but I like it! I grew up in Southern California and enjoy the changing of weather and seasons!
  5. Sorry to hear you've struggled with sleep disorders yourself, but I'm glad you've been feeling better lately. I know what you mean about keeping yourself occupied... it definitely helps for me too. I've been trying to stick to a workout routine myself... but even then I need to watch it. I could easily get caught up in that and work myself to complete exhaustion. Gotta remind myself to go out, relax and enjoy myself too. Take it easy!
  6. My birthday is just reminding me of being alone. I've really put in an effort these past few years to meet someone and have a relationship, but nothing has worked out. Also had a few negative experiences lately, mostly just being ignored... just at that point again where I don't what I can do or if I can do anything to change my situation. I just have the classic " what's wrong with me? " feeling all the time... I did get good news from work though! I should be getting some paperwork in the next couple weeks to apply for health insurance. Can't wait! Thank you for all the positivity! I hope you're feeling better today yourself... take care!
  7. I'm really sorry to hear about that... I've suffered from night terrors before and they are awful. I'm sure their are worse things out there, but suffering from insomnia because you're afraid to go to sleep is crippling at best... As for me, I'm extra stressed at work right now... fortunately I believe I have been with this company long enough to finally qualify for health insurance, so hopefully I can see a therapist soon. Also have a birthday in a week and really dreading it more than anything. I just feel like I'm not gonna enjoy myself no matter what I do... it's so exhausting.
  8. I'm sorry to hear that... I'm almost 30 myself and in a similar situation. I've never really had a serious relationship. My relationship only last a couple weeks or so. It's very easy to feel inadequate, especially with so many people around you that seem to jump from one person to the next, or have started a family. You are most certainly not alone... The best advice I can give you is to try to get out and socialize more often. It can be especially tough with depression, but it does help! Wether you go to a bar, or wherever, just make sure to set a reasonable goal for yourself. I feel like when I go out trying to find a date, I feel terrible when it doesn't happen, and I hardly even talk to anyone because I feel like I will fail anyway... start your night by thinking " I'm gonna go out and say 'Hi' to one person tonight" instead... You put less pressure on yourself and feel accomplished rather than defeated at the end of the night. I would also suggest staying away from online dating for now... I've found that if you are having difficulty finding someone already, it won't help much, at least it hasn't with me. Good luck! I hope you find what you're looking for.
  9. kmb2010


    Afterglow is right... it may be very difficult, but if you really have feelings for her then let her know. Do it in a way where she doesn't feel pressured to be with you or even obligated to tell you how she feels. Even if she doesn't feel the same way, she will most likely be flattered that you feel that way. Either way, the pain of not knowing hurts a lot more and lasts a lot longer than being rejected. Take care!
  10. Hey there... I'm sorry to hear you are feeling so down. I've struggled with many of those same feelings myself. It sounds like you are still young, and I remember struggling with many of those same things myself. I guess without knowing more about your situation, my advice would be to seek out more channels where you feel comfortable talking about these things that are causing you a great deal of stress. In my own experience, while it is a good thing to reach out to people close to you, like friends and family, it may not be the most helpful thing to do... Sometimes these people just don't fully understand what we are going through, or have the answers we need. It's great that you feel like you can open up on here, and you should do that whenever you feel you need to. Don't feel like a burden because you are not! That's just another of the many symptoms of depression. Take care!
  11. Thank you so much for the kind words. It feels good to hear something positive about how i feel. At least knowing that someone is listening helps. I'll be back to share more on these forums when I have more time, but thanks for helping me feel a little better about myself and my situation, really!
  12. I'm sorry if I haven't posted here enough. I should provide more to this forum before I start asking for help in return, but I can't help it. I'm simply stuck and can't think of any way to get myself out. I've been depressed as long as I can remember. A lot of it stems from my terrible luck as far as my relationships with women go. I wish there was anything I could do. I wish it didn't affect me so badly, but it does. I just feel like I will never be loved. It feels like there is nothing I can do. I've never been very aggressive or confident in dating or pursuing a relationship. Every time I have been in the past I've pretty much been laughed at or worse. It just feels like I can't do anything. I've tried to commit suicide before and I feel like I'm back at a point in my life where I want to try again. I love my family, and they are the only reason I keep going, but they put a tremendous amount of stress on me as well. I just don't want to deal with it anymore. I don't feel like I will ever be happy. I once read something about relationships; if you could look into a crystal ball and see that you would never find anyone, what would you do? I tried to convince myself that I would keep going on, but honestly, I'm terrified. Honestly, if I found out today that I would never find anyone, I would do what I could to end my existence. I hope that there is anyone out there that would love me, but the world is making it really difficult to believe that. I need to find some depression group therapy in my area, I will not consider drugs. I just wish I saw any light at the end of the tunnel, and I want these thoughts of self harm to go away.
  13. Hello everyone. My name is Mike. I've suffered from depression for most of my life. I would say I noticed it shortly after starting middle school and has been pretty much present my entire adult life ( I'm 26 now ). I recently moved away from my hometown, leaving a career I had been working for almost 10 years. I've started new in a city I've known my whole life, where most of my family is from and still resides. I grabbed the first job I could find and have worked as hard at it as I can. So far things are going great, really. For some reason, those familiar feelings are starting to creep back. Most of it stems from my terrible romantic past, and how I feel unlovable. I just feel like I can't work hard enough or achieve enough to be attractive or worth loving. It's just a crippling, horrible feeling I'm sure a few people here are familiar with. I don't know why I decided after all this time to look up a forum that I can visit every now and again, but I'm glad I did. I'm sure I'll be around here in the near future. Take care everyone!
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