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TiredBlue

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  1. yes I agree - and I have found a woman who is at least steady. I don't dare to think she will be responsible as I have been let down now five times so I have given up on hoping they will be professional. I waver between thinking he is a Barsteward and missing him so much I will forgive him anything.
  2. Yes, I am beginning to work with a private counsellor, not to have a 'therapeutic relationship' again (stuff that!) but to process my hurt and anger about this traumatic termination and move on.
  3. Also, he is still working at a university being a clinical psychologist for a course training clinical psychologists. But he doesn't have clients there. He was intending to continue working there for some years to come. He has just bailed out on his clients job. I met another client of his yesterday and she had only been told he was on indefinite leave. She was told by letter from the centre. So she was waiting to hear when he is coming back.
  4. I am still majorly in shock really. I wake at 4am trying to work out why he did this, what is going on, why, what, huh, duh? I am in my fifth week of waking at 4am. It is so tiring. My mind just starts to try to work it out in my sleep until eventually the thoughts are so strong they wake me up. Some people are telling me he is a real Barsteward to do this. I was hoping he was not. It does seem very passive aggressive to me too but I was trying not to think that.
  5. Ken, I am new to Zoloft too and I got prescribed it to help with anxiety and it made me quite low at first and more upset and crying. That was the first two weeks but I also started feeling better by day nine or so. I only take 25mgs. I did increase day 11 to 50 mgs but I felt spaced out and weird and doped up and dozey so I stopped afer three days taking so much and went back down to 25mgs. I am now coming up to four weeks on 25mgs and for me it is so magic. I feel really okay. Really like my normal self and I am having a lot of stressful things happening but the last week I have just started feeling better and better. So I think it took three weeks to start being really steady for me. I hope it is helping you and you stuck with it.
  6. Hi, I am so glad I found this thread with positive responses to Sertraline/Zoloft/Lustral. I have never before in my life taken any medication for anxiety or depression. I have PTSD. I 'self medicated' with yoga, meditation, singing, therapy, self compassion, qi gong, exercise, fresh air , art and not doing stressful stuff. BUT things have been really really miserably awful for SEVEN years. Yes, seven. I just got used to it I guess. But some weeks ago my psychologist terminated with me suddenly by unexpectedly giving up his job. I went into free fall. I went on the Zoloft at the urging of my doctor who recognised that I don't feel i am depressed but said that it would hugely help to reduce my anxiety. I didn't even know I HAD anxiety but apparently PTSD IS an ANXIETY disorder - somehow I had never really 'got' that! I've taken 25mgs for nearly four weeks now. I found I was getting really upset during the first couple of weeks but I began to feel a positive change from about day nine. I am now on very nearly four weeks and I feel really good. I should be a mess. I haven't had therapy for over five weeks. ( I usually have therapy twice a week.). I feel positive about life. I feel enthused. I feel liberated. I feel like I am coming back to the me I used to be. I can't quite believe it. Is this for real? Will I remain like this? Can my miserable life really be helped this hugely by taking 25mgs of Zoloft a day and not having any side effects? If this is true, if this is not just a blip - even though a happy blip - then this Zoloft is amazing. If this really makes me back to being my normal self, happy and able to feel enthusiasm and not falling apart and feeling unable to cope - then I am delighted. I haven't fallen into a low for a whole week now. which is unheard of during these last seven years. I haven't felt this good in years. I don't feel high either. I just feel like the person I used to be. I had forgotten this me. It was so long ago that I was this me. I just feel NORMAL!! I feel like a person is meant to be: able to be appropriately happy or sad or enthused or confused or intrigued or doubtful or excited or tired or whatever - all in a very normal way. I had lost that 'normal' range. I was falling too often into the pits of anguish and despair. I am so glad to be out of that. I hope this Zoloft continues to work. I seriously wish I had known that it was this good, seven years ago. I can't still quite believe it is this good. Allelujah. I hope I don't crash. I see my doctor on Friday and I shall tell her how good I am feeling on it and how I could cry with gratitude to who ever made this drug.
  7. His dad did die. I do think he saw this as a way to get out of work early and probably get away from me early. But he also might be in total meltdown. I am trying very hard to give him the benefit of the doubt here. It is hard at times when I just want to scream, sob and cry and kick something - but I do know that life happens and sometimes train crashes happen and he might be totally overwhelmed. I am still all over the place about it. Not surprisingly
  8. No - it is not an error. She explained that he is not going to work with me anymore. Due to personal family reasons and difficulties that are complicated she said. And that he said he would some time in the future write me a letter but not any time soon. It is not a mistake. He has truly done this.
  9. After working with him for six years, with a contract that he is ending June 31st 2017 when he takes early retirement, I get a phone call today from his line manager telling me that he will no longer be able to work with me. she has fixed up an assessment 50 miles from my home for Oct 6th. I have not had therapy in three weeks. I am a wreck. This whole thing is a train wreck. I cannot believe this has happened to me. I cannot believe I am just left like this. this therapist of all the people on this planet knew my attachment problems, my abandonment issues, my issues around therapists just terminating with me, and now he has done it, knowing the critical crash it will send me into. I cannot believe this is happening to me I last saw him three weeks ago today and I left in tears, shaking and he reassured me saying that he would see me in two days. One week ago he apologised for taking so long to have compassionate leave because his 94 yr old dad died and said he was sorry it was taking so long and that he would contact me when he is coming back to work and said he would see me soon. and then today I get this phone call. I am a wreck. I am truly a wreck. They put in no back up. I am just told about this assessment in more than two weeks time. That is it. I cannot believe this.
  10. well, I have gone down again to just 25mgs in the morning only. I feel less spacey on that. I will see how it goes. I just want to feel less ridiculously anxious for a while.
  11. I have gone down to 25mgs as I felt spacey on 50 mgs. I also had the assessment at the residential treatment centre. I now have to see if I can get NHS funding for it. Long battle ahead. At least this second visit confirmed for me that I would not pay it for myself but would only go there if the NHS pays. At least I know that now as I was wavering before.
  12. My therapist went AWOL three weeks ago and I don't know when he is coming back. Neither does anyone else. I am in severe anxiety. I went to see my doctor and he prescribed Sertraline which is perhaps the UK name for /Lustral/Zoloft. I took 25mgs 10 days ago and upped it to 50mgs three days ago. I am experiencing mega anxiety and I wake at 4am which is really awful, pounding with anxiety. I am sticking with the medication ( I haven't taken medication before) because I am just so tired of feeling this bad. I also go for a private assessment at a private trauma residential centre tomorrow. It costs more than I can believe to stay there but I am feeling quite desperate.
  13. Hi I am new here. I was prescribed Sertraline which I think is also called Lustral or maybe Zoloft in the States. I started on 25 mgs 10 days ago and three days ago upped that to 50mgs. I have never taken medication before so I am very nervous of this. I was experiencing ridiculous anxiety and I just got tired of being so wrung out. I wake at 4am and am zinging with anxiety. I am hoping this will go down. I might even space my dose out taking 25mgs in the morning and 25 mgs in the evening. I am so glad you are all here discussing it as I was searching the internet trying to find others in the same boat as me. I am doing therapy as well so I am trying to sort out the causes as well as the symptoms.
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