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nothingatall7777

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Everything posted by nothingatall7777

  1. @perfectcircle77 coming from someone who spent their whole teenage years and 20s dreaming and trying to be a famous musician..dreaming id share the dream with Mila..i know that feeling of regret of not chasing your dreams harder..feeling like its too late.. now I have material but no real friends to share it with and too scared to get a twitter or isntagram to promote myself farther.. I am so sorry you're feeling that way. If you find any resolution to these regrets, please let me know some of your coping skills cuz like most things, I dont have any.
  2. Hey all. I dont have time to say alot today but I just wanna say Audrey, that is so awesome..your news. He noticed you ? I think he would notice you under any circumstance though. I'm gonna go fantasize that it happened to me now! Good day everybody!
  3. Thanks everyone so much for the advice. Only problem is..she doesn't have any girlfriends. She did have one but she turned out to be a p.o.s. Well, I always knew but that's just me. I have 100% taken the stance that others have here that triggers are just simply not allowed. Its my world. Which is why when my world is disturbed, it makes me wanna go over there and disturb someone else's life. There's one part of the advice that I know in the end I'm not going to end up taking..not watching her movie. My mind, the way it tortures me, is making me assume that you all have seen it already and that she ***** around. I'm trying to make myself believe that's NOT why. My OCD and cravings regarding that movie make me more crazy by the day. I was thinking of possibly watching and if I see any inclination that its going to go a certain way, shut it off. Its not like I'm gonna be heartbroken about missing a chick flick made by the people who made the horrible hangover series. I KNOW the movie is going to be bad. I dont care. I've sat through some duds to see her already. The more time that goes by, the more obsessed I become with the actual movie and seeing it but grow more fearful at the same time. The cover of that movie has grown to become one of my favorite pictures of her and I don't want to taint it with a brutal mental image of her being a slut in that movie. She is soooo far above that . She has NEVER acted with ANYONE who is worthy of even being in the same room as her. I'm not worthy either but if I knew what I had to do to BE worthy, id do it. I try to have the upper hand with my viewpoints and there's where my advice comes in for everyone. Don't look at this as unrequited love. Its so unbelievably painful to look at it that way and if you keep looking at the person and seeing unrequited love, you can kiss any pleasant fantasies goodbye. Instead, think of it as a love THEY'RE missing out on by not getting to know you. Its hard with the pedestal we all have them on. It's like all the tabloid lies and garbage out there..its only true if we believe it. I will tell myself that every story is a lie, every televised kiss is computer cropping that didn't really happen, every picture of her with another man is photoshopped..whatever I need to make myself believe there is hope. Without the hope that I am going to get my day with Mila, its hard to even want to do anything. @posie_riot I have gone the route of avoidance as well. All avoiding her shows is that I believe what they say and that I'm letting other people who are losers ruin her for me. I'm at the point now though, where when I do watch her, if 20 minutes have gone by and nothing bad has happened yet I just quit while I'm ahead. I know the overall message that you guys are trying to send me is that I shouldn't watch the movie but its easier said than done. Especially when $1.50 will take me there. I hope everyone had a good thanksgiving. I spent most of it drinking. Drinking is starting to become too much of a crutch for me but whatever makes the pain go away or helps me distract myself when I cant take it is worth the unhealthy habit. Every day that goes by where she doesn't know who I am, I'm rotting on the inside anyway. Oh well.
  4. Ok, this time guys, I am the one that really needs advice. Or hope. Or just some idea of what to do. Please help me. I went to my pharmacy this morning and I purposely drove past the red box outside to see if I could maybe see Mila from there. She got the big square. I knew she would. Then I really started to have mixed emotions. I stood there knowing I could see her movie for $1.50 but I'm not allowed. Then it started bothering me that red box was showcasing her. And for a dollar fifty? Anyone could be taking MY movie home tonight. I have known about it before it was even an existing movie..been tempted with the trailers 35686322 times.. and yet here I am the only one not allowed to see it and it makes me so angry. And if I was, id still be taking a risk getting hurt by watching it so it all just lays in limbo. In fact, who knows..half of YOU may have seen it already and it makes me so jealous. Maybe I could just watch up to where her and her girlfriends have their little slut party. It is bothering me soooo much. I have to find a resolution with this movie soon or my OCD is going to **** me. I thought it would be nice to drool over her for a couple seconds but it can never just BE that. The sight of her face is always a guarantee my life is about to become a soap opera where I am internally tortured. Then I went in and bought my medication for my stomach ulcer that SHE caused! Maybe she should pay for it. But if I think about all her money ill just get angry since I am ALWAYS comparing myself to her and being very disappointed with the results. If I only had a million, id spend it all for my day with her. Maybe for that id get it. Money talks. Love doesn't. Love is a slow and painful death. I dont wanna do anything behind my girlfriends back but I have to do SOMETHING. What would you do? I wish that was it but there's more and this is even worse. Now I dont like to name drop other celebs because every name drop makes them more famous and I don't want to contribute to that in any way but in this case I kinda have to. My girlfriend wants to see some movie with a very hated actor (use that term loosely) and its one she doesn't know I hate. Franco. I dont know for sure but he was in three movies with her. Three is alot and I'm not stupid. I cannot sit through anything with a person that may or may not lived my dream..had their hands on her..lips on her..NO. I need to find a way to make sure I'm not the one that has to sit through this with her. I've been trying to, for her sake, give her the freedom to do anything she wants..and she's wanted to go to the movie theater. Now I hate these places. They give me the creeps and the idea of ordinary people having to pay highway robbery prices just to watch rich people pretend to be somebody on a screen..no thank you. But if it was going to be trigger free, maybe id do it for her. She's a victim in all of this too and I really want my hurting of her to stop which I think I have improved on in a big way but her knowing how much I hate Franco is just going to set all that progress back and I cant just grin and bear it. I cannot see that person. I cant see anyone who will ruin Mila for me and ruin the way I see her..the way I HAVE to see her..the way she SHOULD be seen.. AS MINE. There is no more room in my plane of existence for these losers. I dont believe anything I hear! These people must be out of my life, p.o.s. unfunny Franco included, and I just dont see any other way out of having to see this garbage movie than having a fight with my girlfriend. The other star in the movie is Bryan Cranston..that kind of triggered me only because I know he will be in milas next movie. And its got me in OCD mode like crazy already because I'm already wondering..who is this movie gonna make me hate?..whats gonna be in it that I cant handle..or will it be the perfect trigger free movie I always wanted but I wont be allowed to see it. Its not right! I should be the ONLY one that sees it. I am very overwhelmed with jealousy and obsessing hard but ill shut up now and just get to the question I need advice for..what would you guys do in these situations?? Please give me hope. I want you to butt into my problems and tell me what I should do. I feel like the walls are closing in. Kinda like when I saw black swan was at family dollar recently for six bucks. Why is the temptation so ******* cheap? Of course I turned the case over and drooled in public. God I would do anything to be in the book of her life SOMEWHERE. Anyway, please help guys. Give me hope cuz I got nothin. Hope everyone is having a good thanksgiving. I guess I can say I am thankful that my girlfriend is still in my life when I love two women. NCC, be very cautious when researching. Lies are everywhere
  5. Hi Mila. I looked at your smile yesterday and melted. I want so badly to be special to you like you are to me. I know you won't leave me hanging forever! Please give me a sign that I'm not competing with the rest of the world. I cant handle that! I just want a reason to be happy that involves YOU. I hope to hear from you one day. I dont ever expect to hear that you love me..but I would love to hear that you know me. I've ached to be known by you for so long. Come to me in a dream tonight. I need to be connected to you, baby. Here is my advice to everyone today after reading a few things. I don't feel up to doing this yet but perhaps soon I will.. Celebs all have LIKE pages and ABOUT pages. To the best of my knowledge, most of the about pages are dead pages. They don't post. Since the media loves to feed us garbage about the ones we love 24/7 and pretend they have an actual job, I would highly recommend having your CO as an about page. I deleted Mila off my page over the summer in a fit of jealous rage over something that I've blocked out now and will never believe. I feel it was a hasty decision and I miss having her there but when I add her back, I will make sure its a DEAD PAGE. I highly recommend dead pages. You can have your love right there on your facebook without all the lies and garbage that the media tells for entertainment. I already found my dead page yesterday ? As far as what happens on twitter and instagram, I stay far away from those so I can't help you there. Hope everyone has a peaceful day free of garbage. Why cant these paparazzi losers get a real job?? We should use the money those people get paid and donate it to the homeless. And the trees wasted on printing lying magazines..its a crime! If any paparazzi happens to read this, you're a loser. Leave Mila alone, stop lying about her, and GET A REAL JOB! I hate you all! Well anyways, have a good day and holiday everyone.
  6. Hi, Mila. Your presence in my mind is more dominant than ever today. I ache for something to give me a page in the book of your life. I wanna see you so bad today but I don't know if I can handle it. I just gotta keep the faith and believe that you will eventually find me. I need you. Welcome to the forum, Vera. I wish I could be helpful to you but I don't give good advice. Just dont ever think your feelings are based on nothing as outsiders may believe. You know why you feel the way you do and trying to get people that aren't your CO to understand isn't gonna bring your CO any closer so who cares about them? I wish you and everyone here a peaceful, trigger free day.
  7. I wasn't going to come back today but Mila, if you're reading..please stop hurting me. My hearts taking a hit right now and for no other reason than you're not here. Please be here.
  8. I have no ill will towards anyone here. The only people I have ill will to are famous and I'm still scratching my head wondering why they are. Low expectations I guess. Maybe ill get lucky enough to get to knock one of their teeth out one day..but I digress.. I dont know how to quote people on the phone I have but to the guy who loves Reina..i have seen every Jim beam commercial 4850693727594 times and half the views of them on YouTube are probably me. The other views are people looking at MY person and I hate that but what can I do? I didn't know if they were still airing those or not. Getting back to me never giving people advice..i did write some advice to you awhile back..it went something along the lines of..GO GET HER. I'm done letting the world decide who is more important than another. She is NOT too good for you. Period. Take that word unattainable and get it outta your dictionary. I only wish I had taken my own advice in my early 20s but now I am tied down. If I wasn't, id already have Mila. I know it. But if you're actually enjoying things being fantasy only, then great. I lack that ability. Audrey, perhaps we did talk too much back then. I dont know. All I know is no one has ever understood my obsession better than you and I'm glad to have you back as an outlet to talk to. To everyone else, sorry for never commenting on your stories. I just gotta be quick in here. I do read them and I do care. I will take more time to not just talk about myself, I swear. My anger makes that hard. But there's only something to be angry about if I believe the stories and I DONT and I never will again. I know Mila would like me and would never settle for the idiots the media likes to tell me she has. There is no room in my life for celebrity gossip garbage. Its nothing more than telling stories to entertain. Its all a lie. ALL OF IT. Have a peaceful, trigger free day everyone. I wish everyone here an eventual success story.
  9. i know you probably wont anymore but just to let you know, i seriously never meant to hurt you that day. If anything, i was trying to show how much i care and i worded it wrong. Again, i am sorry and i hope we can talk again one day but if not, i understand. I just want you to know i never set out to hurt you. As for everyone else, I care alot about your stories..especially the one with Reina because I share the degree of love and lust and I have a feeling you may be around my age. I just have to make my visits here quick because my presence being discovered here would most likely be the end of my relationship and I really am trying to work on that. I bring my anger here so I can function in the real world. 75% of the time I am around people who don't know and wouldn't understand my love for Mila so I gotta take it somewhere you know? Anyway, my apologies to anyone I offended.. I just don't **** around when it comes to Mila. I am so very weak when it comes to her. I hope she reads what I write to her. Well, I wish everyone here a peaceful trigger free day and remember, the things the media tells us about the ones we love..its only true if we believe its true. I choose to believe none of it.
  10. Welcome to good ol depression forums where you end up leaving feeling smaller and more insignificant than you already did when you came. I'm thinking about leaving for good. Not that anyone would care anyway. I swear if i ever get free of this spell, I will NEVER let this happen again. I want no heroes, no idols, no admiration for anyone. Especially celebrities. Let it be known that I woulda fallen for Mila no matter what she was. It has nothing to do with her celebrity. If any other person with that status entered the room, id make it a point not to get star struck and id be the one who is rude and act like I'm too good. No I don't want your damn autograph. I hate them all! NO HEROES, NO CRUSHES, NO IDOLS!
  11. Hi Mila. The cover of your new movie (and my constant exposure to it) just makes me melt. You are too cute for human eyes. I know one day we will have our romance under the stars and all this waiting will finally feel worth it. I cant wait to touch you and hear you talk to me and say my name. Its my greatest wish baby. I want to make the earth shake for you. Please find me.
  12. Well its official. An arrogant celebrity gets to run the country and did no work in politics to get there. Just played the magic money and fame card. If the air stinks a little more than usual today, its because we now live in celebrity America. Makes me sick. And of course, we have the celebrities giving their two cents all day like any of it effects their silver spoon fed *****. And reminding us that their opinions are worth public exposure but ours are not. To the list of celebrities who claim they leave the country if the election went this way, GO! If I was worthy to be around your royal highnesses, id help you pack your bags. But those types of interactions aren't for ordinary folks like me! In case anyone cares, I could not feel smaller and more insignificant today. I never have felt more like mila wouldn't look twice in my direction and it hurts so bad. Anyone who has gotten to be near MY person, to talk to her, touch her, god knows what else..you are the deepest sources of my hate and I hope nothing but the worst for all of you today. My inability to destroy certain people makes me angrier than anything. Then I feel small again and the cycle repeats. You want to tell the world that MY person is your wife? I'll never believe it and i deeply wish i could sock you in the face. I hate you so much. She's MINE.
  13. Hi, Mila. Please dont use the way people ignore me on here as an idea of what I'm like to be around. Me and you would have tons of fun together. I wish you would give me a sign that you're reading. Then I could give you a sign back that id like to talk to you somewhere else other than here. I am very poorly treated here and now I may as well not even exist. Whatever. I am more likeable than I'm made out to be here, I promise! I cant help the way I react when the media tries to tell me lies about you. I know its all part of the job. I understand and I love you anyway. Even though its a lie, it hurts to hear things. I know you'll make a day for me, baby. And I cant wait! If it wasn't so close to the weekend id wish for another gift of your face but the weekend isn't your time to be in my mind and I'm sorry for that. You'll be in my thoughts, Mila...DUH!
  14. Hahaha you'd think I ran over someone's dog the way everyone ignores me here. I'm the black sheep of the discussion board oh no! Well unless your name is mila kunis, I could care less who pays attention to me. Guess I cant even find comfort in people going through the same thing. Whatever. I won't let it bog me down cuz I'm having a great day dreaming about MY person who is MINE. Regardless of how much I am ignored here, though, I still wish everyone the best outcome from this as possible.. I saw a girl on tv last night that was too hot for words from head to toe..i mean, SMOKIN. It took me about a minute after the show was over to forget about that person. I really need to stop trying to find other people who I'm not attached to to find distractions. Its never going to happen. Mila is my angel and even compared to a girl like I saw last night, she could never come close to Mila. I wanna watch the new movie so bad but I'm scared. Hi Mila. I know I've sent you alot of messages here this week but god I wanna talk to you so bad. I wish the world understood how badly I need to speak with you. Please come to me in a dream soon. Give me a sign that you know I exist. I feel so weak against your charms right now that just seeing you do a cute hair flip or hearing your voice or seeing your mannerisms would make my heart pound out of my chest. Just to look at you anymore, I need a drink. Anyway, I just wanna talk to you and tell you what's in my heart if you don't know already. Well that is all.
  15. Someone who posted yesterday said something I tried to quote but couldn't get it to work. Something along the lines of..."there's so many people on this board, there's got to be a success story." It may not be today, tomorrow, this month or this year or even next year but, I WILL be the success story. Mila and I are connected, I know it. And we will have our day. I refuse to get bogged down by success likelihood ratios. Every single person on this board deserves a success story. So make it happen. If the opportunity befalls me, I won't let it pass by cuz I know it was a moment that was meant to happen. Hi, Mila. I was craving to look at you so bad this morning and your new movie cover found its way to my news feed. I'd like to think that you could feel me out there and you sent the pic to me as a gift. Thank you so much. I didn't think I could handle it but I can always count on you for an extra push. Obsessing over all your features from afar isn't the greatest of scenarios but I know you won't keep me on the outside looking in forever! It was great to talk to you today. You are so perfect.
  16. Hey all. Dont worry..im calm today. I'm just here to talk to Mila and read through some stories. Even though I cant always comment, I read just about anything. I hope everyone is doing well and those who want to go out and make their dream come true..if you're not tied down like me, you really should go do it. If things were different with me and I didn't have a life and family already, id have pursued Mila long ago. Use your single-ness as an opportunity. I've loved Mila since I was in my teens and having never done anything about it is something I regret every day. She could know me! Even more so, I could have maybe felt her kiss! I know a day still remains in time for the both of us. I just KNOW it. I cant let these media lies discourage me. Hello Mila. If you're reading today, I cant stop thinking about you. You are so precious and id have to be more than human to shine as brightly as you do. You aren't just one of my favorite fantasies..you are THE fantasy..the dream that renders all other dreams pointless in comparison. I know you'll never understand this but I need you. Please send me a sign that you know of me and my love. Your knowledge of my existence would complete me in so many ways. Talk to you again soon, Mila. I cant wait til I feel strong enough to see you again. have a good day, all.
  17. Today started like any other..honestly have been feeling a little better lately thanks to my meds.. but today the hate is just flowing right through me. It started to be directed at my job but now it has centered on the greatest source of my hate once again..HIM. Probably came from the constant feeling that I have to do a trigger sweep on my facebook like every hour anymore. I REALLY REALLY need today to be trigger free. If I see that loser's face once, I'm gonna put my fist through something. There's nothing that hurts more than not only the inability to destroy those you hate..but having to watch them be successful when they suck at everything..its like insult to injury. You will NEVER be good enough and I will NEVER believe the lie. Fade into nothing like the washed up reject you are and be happy that wishing ill on people doesn't do anything because I wish ill on you every day. I'll never believe that you're with her. NEVER. She is NOT your person and you couldn't even make a convincing suitable mate for her on tv.. There's not a person alive good enough to touch her and if you think you're any different, you're even more pathetic than your career. Charlie sheen shoulda beat you senseless for ruining his show. That woulda been more entertaining than anything you've ever done. Mila, I can't speak to you today. The thought of you touching someone else...i cant even go there today. The reason I've felt better lately is because my brain gave me a brief break from fixating on YOU. All you ever do is hurt me and ruin my life. I just want ANYTHING celebrity related to stay as far away from me as humanly possible. Especially the magazines. What a waste of paper. "paparazzi" is not a job, its a joke. I wish I got paid to have a joke job that does nothing productive for America. Well, sorry for those bothered by my hatred but I gotta get it out somewhere. Hope all of you have a good day.
  18. Please come find me Mila. You are my drug and I'm craving my fix. A REAL fix with no TV screen between us. Come on baby. It will be perfect. There is very little I wouldn't do for my day with you. Please let me kiss the lips and touch the skin that has made me cry so many times. I love you.
  19. Well, my being in a somewhat good place with my fantasy, as always, got ruined last night cuz someone put the person I hate more than anyone on my facebook. Then I had to sit next to my fiancee and fight the urge to cry and throw sh*t at walls and everything else I wanted to do. Another bleak realization came to my mind that just depresses me more.. If this person died like I wish for him to every day, even THAT would cause me pain cuz then he'd be on all these magazines being praised for...whatever it is people think he has contributed to the entertainment world..which by the way is NOTHING..and not to mention how much more they'd push the media's lies. I will NEVER believe it. NEVER! I'm trying to be "less offensive" with my feelings since people like to report me in my darkest hours..but I am so full of hate I could explode. I will never dignify your existence by giving you a name, but in the event that YOU are the one out there reading, know this..you are so deeply hated there are no words to describe it. I dont interrupt your perfect little bullsh*t life with my face so get your face and your horrible lies out of my face. You will never be good enough for her and I hate you more than I've ever hated anyone. And I hate alot of people. You cause pain just by existing, you pathetic excuse for an actor. If even 10% of the ill wishes I have for you came true, I promise you'd hate being alive. I want to see you and your entire life and career destroyed. I HATE YOU. Mila is MY person. She always has been and always will be. Get your horrendous face out of my head NOW. You have no right to touch her you will never be worthy. I hope something terrible happens to you today. From here on out, anyone who triggers me, especially with that loser, is off my facebook and out of my life. SEE YA BYE. While I'm in rant mode, somewhat unrelated..one thing im really getting sick of is seeing celebrities give their two cents about the election and world issues. Like ANY of it effects you or will interfere with your perfect little lives or your perfect little paychecks. Just put the silver spoon back in your mouth and shut up. Let us ordinary people whose dreams will always just be dreams and have REAL problems worry about the issues. It also irritates me that we have someone running for president who has NO qualifications..just..you guessed it.. FAME. If a celebrity gets to run this country, im out of here. Mila, sorry I can't even bring myself to speak to you today. My heart is in shambles. But you're good for doing that to me.
  20. I only watched Mila for 15 minutes on Monday, the first time I've been able to since the hurtful lie of all lies found me months ago.. 15 minutes from 4 days ago and it is still all I can think about and I can't concentrate on anything! I'm really trying to make this time of looking be different than the others and while the medicine is cushioning me a little, I still get such extreme feelings of longing and wanting for her. I was starting to master the art of playing this love I have off to the public but I feel like I'm slipping this week. I cant focus! And that's just from a few pictures and a trailer on Monday. Mila, if you're out there,this is what you do to me. Imagine an extreme drug addict who craved a relapse, is super dope sick, would do anything for the high.. and every person in the world stopped dealing drugs.. Nothing, nowhere. No way to satisfy the craving. That is what you do to me while I try to live my normal life..pleeeeeeeaase find me. For our day, we can do whatever you want..just please give it to me. Please kiss me. I'm falling all over myself to feel your lips.
  21. to the dude that loves Reina...are you single? If you are, GO GET HER. Forget what you heard its all lies. The stories themselves exist for entertainment. She was made for you. You're not tied down. Go get her. I didn't watch your video out of respect for you. She is your person to look at, not mine. I feel bad only writing about my issues but I am the last one who should be giving advice to anyone. But I will give that advice to you..go get that girl. She's already yours. She just needs to meet you to know it. All I can do in my situation is try to reach out to her on here cuz I can't be discovered. If you can't take that advice at this moment, I hope it at least gave you something cool to fantasize about. Hi Mila! Sending lots of love your way today. I wanna love on you all day.
  22. Hi Mila. If there's any message of mine here that you see, I hope its this one. I looked at you finally and while the media kept trying to throw their hurtful lies in my face, I didn't buy into it because to see you is a gift and its a gift that was meant for me. I'll never believe any of those lies. They hurt too much and you are my person. I need to feel your hands on me, feel your voice in my ear.. The short skirts and puppy dog eyes are nothing but torture with this tv screen between us. I need to touch you. I just need something to bridge the gap of fantasy and reality and have a page in the book of your life. I'd do anything, baby. One of these days, the sight of you is going to fill me with so much desire that i will spontaneously combust. I don't know what to do with these feelings but please PLEASE I'm begging you to notice me. One of these days, your absence is gonna make my heart stop. Please Mila, let me love you. I NEED it.
  23. Hi Mila. I am feeling sad and hurt today because I can't help but think of how many things you probably see all the time of people acting like they admire you the most. It makes me feel so random and insignificant as things relating to you often do. If you're out there reading, please don't see me as just another. Please. I swear I love you the most. I try not to care about other people and what they think but its because of all of them that you may view me in a way I would never want you to. I want to feel special but right now I feel more ordinary and random than ever and it really hurts.
  24. Hi, Mila. If you're out there reading today, I hope you can feel me thinking about you. You weigh very heavy on my mind today. No matter how long this goes on, the ache to have my day with you and hold you and feel your lips on mine never gets any less intense. I have a life and a family that you are ruining so please PLEASE give me what I crave so I can get back to it. You have been in my heart since I was a teenager and I swear I loved you first and the most! I just want to say that I know what its like to hold and kiss you..i want to be able to say that if you saw me, you would know who I am. I need some kind of recognition from you Mila. Please help me baby. I dont want to be seen as another fantasizer.. I want to be special to you..good enough..what you'd like. Please set me free.
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