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nothingatall7777

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Posts posted by nothingatall7777

  1. I had too much to drink. I honestly don't even remember doing half of it. That was time I was supposed to be spending fixing my life with my girlfriend. I am scum and I don't deserve anything. I will try to delete these posts. I dont want them there any more than you do. I'd appreciate it though if you wouldn't try to **** my spirit as far as her seeing my stuff. I believe what I need to to stay sane and until I see physical proof that there isn't even a .0001% chance that she could be reading this..which she could..its a public page..i will keep my hope in my heart. All I ever do for other people on here is try to build them up to feel good enough for their CO cuz they ARE. chickening my spirit like that may as well be triggering me.

     

    To everyone on the board, and Mila herself if she's out there..i am sorry for the drunken tirade, it wont happen again. I am truly ashamed.

  2. If someone were to ask me what I would feel would be the thing that would feel like the greatest accomplishment on earth I would say that its being able to say you know what its like to feel every inch of you sweet body my sweetest Mila. I ache to touch you everywhere and I ache to hear you moan my name in ecstasy. I will make you feel better than any man ever has u promise you. I CRAVE YOU BABY

  3. MILA,

    As I sit here all alone on a friday night cuz my girlfriend needs space, all I can think of is how much I'd want to die if it weren't for the Prozac and booze. But cuz of those things im actually quite pleasant and in la la land with my sweet Jackie. Please stop toying with me and come find me. I tried to get some love from my girl before she left but I guess she feels it isn't a good idea right now so please come take me to heaven before I get the chance to feel sad about that. Look at what my love for you has done to my life. Please give me something.

  4. @audrey822 Yeah I hear ya about the negative things. My gf says all the time when we fight that Mila is pathetic as an actress, lazy actress, slut, nothing special etc.. Meanwhile she shines brighter than all the stars put together! If I'm the only one that sees her that way, GOOD. she's supposed to be mine anyway.

    The main point I was trying to make to dee63 is that its better to be on the inside than the outside about a secret with a significant other. And now that he already knows about it, it could either drive a wedge between them or not. Then again, my life is falling apart so maybe I shouldn't give advice at all. Haha.

  5. @dee63 I know from my perspective, all I want is to be able to share my obsession with my mate but she's told me time and time again that shell never be okay with it and that's put alot of walls up. If you can find it in yourself to, try to let her share it with you. I know the times I thought I could share it with my girlfriend, I felt closer to her than ever. Accepting it and not making her hide it from you may just bring the two of you closer cuz you're accepting everything about her inside and out. I'd **** for that but as it stands as of yesterday, my girlfriend wants space. She feels so strongly that yesterday she told me that if Mila ever came on tv when she isn't around that I should change the channel just out of respect to her. Not being able to share my obsession with Mila with my mate has taken away some of the comfort I had with her. But I might lose her anyway, who knows. I think if I could have shared my love for Mila with my mate, it may have changed the direction the obsession went completely. Keep that in mind. She needs you.

     

    @audrey822 I know what you mean about disciplining yourself to stop while you're ahead. At this point, if I've watched 20 minutes of Mila and I haven't been hurt yet, stop while I'm ahead! I am in serious danger of losing my girlfriend and still the obsession stays. I revealed my issue to my sister yesterday and she actually said that I should send my letter. I'll always be too scared to.

  6. @audrey822 I'm scared they're gonna try to have her find somebody at the end of the movie. That would be my luck. I'd get traumatized right at the end. I may just stick to the clips and protect my ignorance I dunno. I know if there is anything like that going on its all FAKE and there is no real kiss! I'll never believe that, it hurts too much.

    Thank god my brain is giving me a little bit of a break today. I couldn't focus on ANYTHING yesterday!

    Hope everyone is having a good day. I cant stress enough..please don't allow yourself to believe some celebrity is better suited for your CO than you. That is not for the world or media to decide. Also, all of this crap that goes on in silver spoon land..its all so far away for most of us..believe what you want! Chances are, well never see proof of anything otherwise as long as we aren't careless when getting close to media lie territory. Believing what I choose to believe..its a big part of what has kept me somewhat attached to my sanity.

  7. Social media is nothing but a bunch of lies. There is no proof that anything reported is anything more than a made up story for publicity. That's WHAT IT IS. You guys gotta believe me.

    I cant stop thinking about the movie clips I saw Saturday. I'm starting to learn ways to navigate around the lies, only believe what I want to, have amazing fantasies..all that is great. But the feeling like I HAVE to be in her life, the overwhelming attachment I get every time I watch her, what to do with THOSE feelings are still to be determined. I will never be whole until I have her. The only good thing that comes out of NOT seeing her for awhile is that why I need her so much isn't so much at the forefront of my life but eventually the cravings make not seeing her too hard to not cave in. I just have to tell myself til I believe...i WAS with her Saturday night. I WAS!

    Now that she's in the front of my mind I have to be super careful cuz that's when the lies always present themselves to ruin her for me. Its not happening this time and if I see anything incorrect about her being stated, ill burn whatever it is. She's MINE to enjoy. MINE!

    Any time I watch something new with her, I do have to admit that I sometimes have the hope that time will have done something to her to make me less attracted. Never happens. I'm so scared to watch the whole movie but now that I've had a taste, how can I not?

    I dont expect anyone to care about my ramblings but I am so obsessed today that its beyond overwhelming. I need her so bad.

  8. @audrey822 I found enough clips of it to say I've seen half the movie. She is so cute and perfect in every single clip. I melted over every second. Not one trigger in any of it! Except the trigger that's in everything she does..the trigger that makes me want to beg to be in her life. I look in her eyes and know she can take me to heaven. I was in heaven almost every time she smiled ? she was made for ME. I wish there was a way I could make her understand. I really hope what I've seen tonight gives me a great dream. Just for the guarantee that shed come to me in my dreams and id remember it to reminisce.. God. I wish I had one picture that I could save in my phone and look at whenever I want but I know that's taking it too far and is too risky. Sorry for rambling. I am high on Mila. I love her.

  9. Thanks Audrey but I don't know how you're gonna tell me if there's anything wrong with the movie. I already know how I will react whether I want to react that way or not. The 2nd trailer put a little fear in me though. I just dont know. And even if its a good viewing, getting out of la la land on Sundays gonna be a huge task too. HUGE. There's never any concrete solutions to anything I want to do. No wonder I'm going insane.

     

    As far as the media stuff goes, its no different than a movie. Its not real. Just entertainment. I'll never believe any of it. Its just too sickening to be true. She has to be attainable to me at all times!

    Hi, Mila. If you're doing calendar for 2017, go easy on me cuz you know I have to look. Please reach out to me, my sweet Jackie.

    Have a trigger free Friday everyone.

  10. @MysteryName "Meet and greets" are like being in a real life horror movie to me. God the thought of having Mila find me creepy..I'd want to die. If it were me, id find a different way to get yourself in her life. Meet and greets are for fans and those who don't mind being fanzoned. Next thing you gotta get outta your mind is that other guys feel the same way as you. It will discourage, hurt, or anger you. It does all three to me. Anyone who thinks they feel the way I do about Mila..id love to fight them. Other guys weren't made for her..you were right? There probably ARE celebrities out there that wouldn't give me the time of day..but not Mila. Were connected I know it. But yea, if it were me, id just approach her like a guy approaches any girl. I'd act like I never heard of Mila and just make ways to keep her talking to me. I'd make myself NOT look like a fan. It would probably make your approach less overwhelming for her. Like you said, who knows what these people hear every day..who cares. They don't. You gotta find something to say or do that they WILL care about. I've never been all that great with girls either. I mean, I've had a few girlfriends but I am socially awkward. Nothing too serious until i met who im with now. But if I saw Mila, I know I wouldn't allow myself to be socially awkward. I'd have to own the situation. Make myself believe that for that moment I AM a big deal. I consider people who get to be near her AND fans of her to be my enemies. I have to rise above them and their numbers make it hard. There's just too many ******* people in this world period. But I don't know, that's just my view on it.

    @audrey822 I believe the things the media say about Mila are lies for two reasons..1. its too hurtful to believe anything else, 2. They ARE lies.

    This ones for anyone and everyone to help me with.. I'm going to be completely alone all night Saturday night. My mind is overwhelmed with the opportunity and temptation involved. Even if I watched her and it went well, ill probably have trouble getting back to my life on Sunday and its hard for me to fake it when its that fresh. I'm not saying I can watch an entire movie but its like I want to use the opportunity but at the same time, I want to be available emotionally for my girl and kid the next day. Basically what I'm saying is..I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO GUYS. ******* red box!

  11. @MysteryName The only person who can decide if you're nothing in comparison to your goddess is you. I know I am just as suitable for Mila as anyone else..possibly more so than anyone from silver spoon land cuz I live real life, have real problems, and try to be real in everything I do. Who decides who is unattainable? Who is good enough? Some spoiled Hollywood bonehead? Screw that man. Once you get past the point of thinking that there's someone out there better suited for your goddess than you..and that she's YOUR person..the better your fantasies as well as hopes for a future encounter will be, I promise. As far as I'm concerned, if there is a lick of truth to anything the media tries to tell me about Mila, which I refuse to ever believe, it's only going on because I haven't chosen to go over there and stop it. Hopefully, you can adopt this way of thinking. And remember anything you hear that's hurtful is just rubbish unworthy of polluting your thoughts. I heard you have what paparazzi people DON'T have..a real job. Congratulations on that. Just remember, a success story for you is no more unrealistic than it is for anyone else and if you let yourself think otherwise, you're pretty much admitting that other men are better suited for her. I dont even know who your CO is but the truth is, you are not only worthy of her, but the MOST worthy, even if your comparisons of yourself to her fall short as mine often do, because she's YOUR person. She was meant for you.

  12. Well I saw the preview for that Franco movie and it looks just as bad as I thought it would. HATE. Like I said before, I've never actually seen any movies he's done with Mila but there's 3..thats too much! I'm just not gonna look into it any farther but god seeing that a****** made my blood boil and I think my girlfriend may have picked up on that cuz while I tried with all my might to hide my anger, I still couldn't act like I was before it came on. I really hope what I believe is true..that nothing happened..but its what I MUST believe. Seeing all his ridiculous muscles and whatnot..id like to think for my sake that she isn't into all that. I am attractive enough I guess but I only weigh 150 pounds. I'm just trying to shut that part of my mind off but I tell you what I am NEVER watching that crap and I wont help but feel like my face is being spit in even if she watches it without me. If she thinks he's so great maybe she should go get him. And if she does watch it, bad moms here I come. I hate hearing my gf talk about all the things she gets excited about on tv cuz I don't get to watch anything I truly want to watch. Not even family guy cuz I'm not allowed and I cant even hear her voice without losing my mind with wanting. I shoulda never told her sh*t. Stupid me wanting to share all of myself with someone. My OCD about the movie wears on me more by the day. Her next movie is called jackpot. Wonder what Mila will do that I cant see this time. Well, im sorry for rambling on. I just need to see Mila so bad.

    How can you tempt me with being able to see your angelic face and hear your sweet sweet voice for only a dollar fifty?? I dont know how the red box doesn't have a line going out the door but I'm glad there isn't. You're not for them. You're supposed to be for me. I just hope you see that one day, baby and for the love of god please stop hurting me. I cant take any more pain but I need to see you, Mila.

    sorry for rambling. I know I dont need to explain why. OBSESSED.

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