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Peach

Junior Member
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About Peach

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    Junior Member

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    UK

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  1. I've been away a while, I've had some very dark times, but I'm back. I have a new job and the summer break is fast approaching. I'm trying to be positive. Still not on medication. Not sure if I should go back on them or not. I'm drinking more, and smoking a little, but not a lot really. Not considering everything I've been through recently. I'm cutting down on both. I miss my friends, we all live in different areas now so it's very rare I get to see any of them, but they do care and I should think about that more. I have some "friends" at uni, but it's just not the same and I don't know where I stand with them at all. It all feels so shallow. I'm struggling to connect with people again, I just want to talk to someone and feel something. It's simple enough. Or should be.
  2. Peach

    Isolation

    With my family distant in every sense I'm really struggling not to feel isolated. I have friends but people come and go. I know in 5 years I'll probably be somewhere else with other people. It bothers me that I will get old and be alone. I don't know how to change it. Ot bothers me a lot.
  3. Health is the most important thing :) Everyone loves Shaggy! Weights are pretty awesome, but I do them to tone up more than bulk up. Not sure how it works for people wanting to add some, I've spent my entire life trying to lose weight!
  4. Yeah! Chime in! Glad to hear it, same here :) Best thing I've ever done in many ways. Everything you said could be something I'd say. Especially the motivation. I think half my lack of motivation comes from me thinking I don't deserve things etc. I'm not sure I will ever get rid of the damage bulling did to me regarding how I see myself. But I know I can fix the damage regarding how I value that voice, how I deal with it and I guess, just adding more self love and positivity to my life. I'm hoping that one day I'll have good people around me who can reinforce that. I'm certainly getting there.
  5. Hey, thanks for stopping by! For what it's worth, being overweight isn't necessarily a bad thing. I'm over weight, and it doesn't hold me back. I've dated overweight guys, sporty guys, skinny guys. Weight is not a deal breaker. Some people care, a lot don't. You don't have to be confident, but not wearing your nerves and insecurity on your sleeve helps. For me at least, that's a more realistic goal than confidence at the moment. If you ever want to swap advice, feel free to message me. Sounds like you're feeling kind of hopeless, but honestly you're not hopeless. Just in a bad place right now I bet? I'm not being pushy about exercise, but being unmotivated and over weight are REASONS to exercise because exercise will help with both of those. Plus it's proven, beyond any doubt, that doing it regularly helps (and for some even cures) depression. If it's not something you want to do, I'm not saying you should do it, all I'm saying is it would definitely help. And you don't have to go to the gym to exercise. And if you ever wanted any tips or advice on how to get started this forum could probably help. Motivation is a big issue for me. I used to really struggle with fatigue and super low motivation. I spent A LOT of time in bed. The way I dealt with it was to slowly but consistently push myself to do more. There is a difference between doing more than you want to, and doing more than you can handle. Some days I can't handle anything, so I rest. It's not about beating yourself up, pushing yourself is a self love thing. So maybe starting with some basic self love exercises is a good idea?
  6. We miss you, hope you're OK xxx

    1. Jalen

      Jalen

      I'm with peach. We miss you, are you ok?

  7. Hey, The world isn't designed for you to fail, but it certainly doesn't help you succeed either. Modern life in the western world is at a very odd point in it's development. It's basically what I study, and believe me a LOT of people agree with what you've said, and struggle to find fulfillment. But struggling to find something doesn't mean you won't find it. You don't have to engage with these things, but like you say, it's hard not to get sucked in. Especially if you can't find something else to engage in. There is still a lot of soul and integrity around, you just have to find it. Good luck, hello :) and welcome to the forum!
  8. Thank you :3 Haha yeah I think my mornings are more scloomphy. I don't really get perked up till the evening truth be told. No idea why. I saw from your profile that you do weight training too? So cool ^.^ *girls with weights high 5*
  9. "Nope it's exercise." Exactly! Well said :)
  10. Post as much as you like! I avoid high impact sports like jogging because there are a lot of joint problems (hips, knees etc) that run in my family. I use cycling instead and dance more. I think doing it everyday is a great idea if you have the time and energy. I work out in the evening most evenings, makes me feel better and more fulfilled than anything else. It's addictive in a way. I'm the same as you when I get sick it's another level of frustrating. And I don't believe in failure either. I always do the best I can. And sometimes I could have done more to ensure self improvement but I know I work hard and am human. No loss of pride from failure, failures point out weaknesses and knowing my weaknesses makes me strong. Improving on them and accepting my limits makes me stronger.
  11. Exercise is a big thing for me. It gives me more balance, more happiness but not confidence as such. I found the "social" environment of my gym negative. Although going to the gym got me in the right mind set and pushed me to start making exercise part of my life so I'm really glad I went for a while. I don't think I had the motivation to do it alone to start with.
  12. Waiting On The Taker by Kendal Winters. I don't usually like country music but she's really cool, almost folky. There's just something about her that's been calming me down lately.
  13. He's a little better this week. I've just gotten worse and worse, so I'm going to talk to him, or at least try to. Baby steps. I'm so scared. I'm not sure I have the strength for it. But I'm going in that direction. Just writing this, having it all in one place is helping me.
  14. Peach

    Love Ramble

    I'm at the point now where I just can't deal with the idea of ever being close to someone romantically. I'm not bitter, romantic love just seems so, short term. Something that would ruin a friendship. I can't imagine being in a relationship for more than a few years. People grow, move on, change. It just seems so unlikely that you could find someone who would always take the same path you do, is compatible aaaand feels the same way. The only people who do that seem to be people who "settle down." and that's just not me. I don't have any close family, my singularity seems to be the only thing that endures, so perhaps I'm just being cynical because long terms bonds aren’t something I’ve much experience with. Maybe it doesn’t matter that love is usually short term. I just invested myself in my current relationship so much, that for me to be seeing it change, hurt me and for it to be so different from when it started, I think I’ve lost the will to do it again. I give so much but get so little out of it. I used to be a huge romantic. I feel like a different person. It’s slightly disturbing, although I don’t think the change is a bad thing. That probably colours all of this. I feel like I should want romance (everyone does right?), but honestly, friends seem so much better. And romance seems fake and generally used to manipulate, self sooth or boost ego, none of which appeal. It’s hard to tell the real people from the fakes. Be it romance, friendship or salesmen. But I do have some close relationships. I just recently realised that I have a few “long term” friends. Not perfect but my only enduring relationships so far, connections like that (I'd like to think) don't sever. They're not practiced or forced. Or perfect. Or easy to understand. You just bond and that's that. They are part of my tribe, regardless of where we go in life, there is a deep familiarity and fondness that endures. It should give me hope that I could get that in someone I could love, but it doesn’t. I feel like love would just ruin it. Maybe this is a phase, maybe it's maturity. I don't know. I'm not taking myself too seriously.
  15. I'm not familiar with that medication, but with medication I've taken, symptoms in the first two-ish weeks were temporary. Again I don't know if that will be accurate for you but good luck :)
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