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Jalen

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Status Updates posted by Jalen

  1. hi, im doing okay, im hurting really bad and im really messed up on a lot of substances, so im sorry. ill be fine,

    i really do love every one of you

     

  2. Feeling a lot of things right now, but mostly lonely. It's just a perpetual feeling, never seems to go away.

    Sometimes I question if anything is real at all.

    -Jalen

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. idkusername465

      idkusername465

      I'm rooting for you Jalen!

    3. womanofthelight

      womanofthelight

      I've MISSED YOU SO MUCH.  I'm sorry you're lonely.  There's no loneliness like the loneliness of not being understood.  I think I can speak for everyone when I say we are here for you; rooting for you; willing to give you the support you need.  Love, WOTL

    4. Kellyb79

      Kellyb79

      Hey stranger. I haven't been on here nearly as much as I used to be.. Things just got hectic. But I'm trying to make it a point to get on here as much as possible again. During my chaos, I realized just how much i need everyone here. And that maybe they need me too. We're all here for you.

  3. Seems like a lot of people have left this forum since I took a break.

    Love you all,

    -Jalen

    1. idkusername465

      idkusername465

      Yea theres been a lot of drama

      I hope you're doing well

       

  4. Hey, just want to let you all know I'm okay...life's been looking up for me. I've been happier more recently, and my meds seem to be helping.

    Love you all,

    -Jalen

    1. Natasha1

      Natasha1

      I was thinking about you ladt night and this morning. So glad you checked in!

    2. idkusername465

      idkusername465

      We're all wishing you well 

  5. Hey, just want to let all of you know I'm okay but I probably won't be able to get back on these forums for a very long time.

    Love you all,

    -Jalen

    1. Azealia
    2. Natasha1

      Natasha1

      See you sooner than you say i hope. Hugs 

    3. carter_burn1

      carter_burn1

      I just thought about you out of nowhere, pal...this last status update is a bit concerning, but I'll trust you when you say you're okay. If you read this, take this next to heart, pal...you are going to be okay. You're a conscientious young man with a lot of love in his heart. I've seen you set aside your own issues time and again to try to help others. There's a selflessness about you that isn't common in humans, let alone those as young as you. Remember what I told you...stand and be true, Jake  ;P  You'll be fine, lad, and you know my number whenever you get the chance to drop a line. Love ya, kid.

       

      Shane

  6. Here's a s***ty poem I wrote...

    I look around,
    Things so hazy,
    I feel nothing,
    Think I'm going crazy,
    I tell myself it'll all be okay,
    All this will go away someday,
    But for how long can I lie,
    How long can I hold back the urge to die,
    I want to give up every day,
    I see no other way,
    But I keep pushing forward,
    In hopes the future will hold a reward,
    I silently cry,
    As I sit down and wonder why,
    Why does this world crush me down,
    A world where it's normal to be pushed around,
    You put up with others bulls***,
    Their words like a bullet,
    The loneliness eats you alive,
    Making it so hard to survive,
    A knife, a bottle, your only friends,
    Everything else a fiend,
    Demons haunt you day and night,
    How easy it would be to end the fight,
    Give up, surrender, let them win,
    Why not just give in?

     

    Hope you all have been okay.

    I'm doing pretty sh!tty.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. mulberrypie

      mulberrypie

      My thoughts exactly, Jalen. I couldn't have said it any better. This is brilliant. :hugs:

    3. rainingviolets

      rainingviolets

      Lean on your friends,

      We love you dearly.

      We're here on online,

      To help you think clearly.

      Reach out to us,

      Put down that knife!

      We're here to listen,

      And bless your life.

    4. idkusername465

      idkusername465

      This is a really great poem Jalen!

      If you're feeling up to it, maybe you could write some more in a journal or something to help get your feelings out!

      Wishing you the best!

  7. Sorry I haven't been on much, got a lot of sh!t going on right now.

    Not dead yet, guess that's good.

    Hope you all are doing okay.

    1. womanofthelight

      womanofthelight

      Thanks for the update!  I've missed you.

      Take care --

      Marianna

    2. rainingviolets

      rainingviolets

      Hey old (but very young!) friend!

      I popped in to check on you. You sound down. Send me a message sometime and let me know how things are. Your remain in my prayers. I still have high hopes that things will turn around for you. Remember the things I shared with you. I came from an abusive, dysfunctional family. Like you I thought my life was as good as over when I was 16 and younger. Today my life is wonderful. In spite of chronic physical pain, I still use the word "wonderful." An even better word is " blessed." I think of those early years as the training ground that prepared me for life, but more than anything they taught me to be grateful for the people in my life today and to never ever take anyone or anything for granted.

    3. womanofthelight

      womanofthelight

      Yeah!  What rainingviolets said! 

      Also, I have a mantra that works.  "Things are always working out for me."  Say it when you feel good; say it when you feel bad.  It changes your energy and not only creates hope and gratitude, but manifests physical results.

       Thinking you with love, Jalen.  Miss you.

      xo,

      WOTL

  8. I'm so ready to just give up.

    1. Natasha1

      Natasha1

      Never give up! You got this!!!!

  9. I feel so good, who knows why, who cares why. 

    I love every one of you guys. You've all helped me so much, and I don't have words to show you how grateful I am, thank you so much.

    1. Natasha1

      Natasha1

      we love you right back

    2. womanofthelight

      womanofthelight

      Love you, too, Jalen.  So glad I know you!

    3. quentin360

      quentin360

      Just know Jalen that you are worth it my friend...

  10. Just want to let you know I'm okay.

  11. Hope all of you are okay...sorry I haven't been on much recently.

    1. LoneSquirrel

      LoneSquirrel

      Do what you have to do to feel better, Jalen!! :flowers:

  12. Welcome aboard the crazy train, TOOT TOOT.

    1. idkusername465

      idkusername465

      chug-a chug-a chug-a chug-a 

  13. Hey, you okay? Hope you're doing well!

  14. Feeling exhausted, excited for Christmas break. Hoping I can manage to keep these last few days relatively simple, not get in trouble.

    I hope all of your days go well, sorry I haven't been on much lately.

    Best Wishes,

    -Jalen

    1. quentin360

      quentin360

      Yea, hang in there man, don't get into any trouble. I am hoping your Christmas goes well...

  15. Hey everybody, just talked to @quentin360

    He asked me to tell you guys that he's doing better and will be back on DF forum soon.

    @gs22 @Kellyb79 @Natasha1 @samadhiSheol @CoolCat7

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. gs22

      gs22

      Thanks, Jalen!  I've been thinking about him . . .and you, as always.

    3. Natasha1

      Natasha1

      thanks for letting us know

    4. Kellyb79

      Kellyb79

      Thank you Jalen. Happy to hear it

  16. Sorry I haven't been quite as active recently, once I'm in a better state I'll grt back to normal. Thank all of you for being such great friends to me.

    1. Natasha1

      Natasha1

      We are here when you are ready Jalen

  17. I have no idea what the hell's been up with my sleep schedule...so if I don't respond at night that's why.

    I finally am taking showers and brushing my teeth more often, getting my hygiene closer to par.

    Hope all of your days go well, maybe mine will.

    Best Wishes,

    -Jalen

    35767ff12a23b83e67c36a476fd66faa.jpg

    1. carter_burn1

      carter_burn1

      That's awesome man...hygiene has a way of falling by the wayside when you're super depressed. I'm gonna quote Doc Holliday - take care of your teeth, Wyatt Earp. You only get the one set.

      Nice Kurt quote! That made me smile...he's a personal hero of mine. And it wasn't suicide, it was M*****!!

  18. Just hoping today won't be too complicated...I'm so exhausted and groggy. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

    I just took a shower, so I guess that's good, but I almost fell asleep while standing up in the shower.

    Hoping all of your days go well,

    -Jalen

    1. carter_burn1

      carter_burn1

      Lol you need to be like everybody else in high school and get on the legal meth...erm...adderall.

    2. quentin360

      quentin360

      Hey Jalen!! I love your new graphics and I sure hope you have a great day my friend...

      8cd969d9329ed6312bc732255bdba700.jpg

    3. Jalen
  19. Feeling sick, and I have a headache. Not excited for some stuff I have to do this afternoon...just gotta try to enjoy it.

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Kellyb79

      Kellyb79

      Eat a Snickers @carter_burn1 . That always helps ?

      Jk. I hope u both feel better. 

    3. Jalen

      Jalen

      Thanks @Kellyb79 & @carter_burn1 !

      Feeling slightly better now, have some stuff to do though so once I get off I won't be on for several hours.

    4. carter_burn1

      carter_burn1

      Hahaha Snickers!! Too bad my fathead grandad eats them all before I can get to them. Glad you're doing a bit better Jalen!

  20. Honestly feeling good. I got a pleasant surprise and that really helped, also got very lucky yesterday.

    I hope you all are doing well to. :hugs:

     

    1. Natasha1

      Natasha1

      Yay for Jalen!!!!! So happy to hear that you are happy!!!!

  21. Feeling ok this morning. I'm so glad that after today I get a break for a couple of days. I'll be up really late tonight.

    Some of you will be happy to know I ate breakfast this morning.

    1. Kellyb79

      Kellyb79

      Proud of you. ??

      I'll talk to you later today:)

  22. I don't know what to do, I don't know how to feel. I had a really s***ty day and some bad news isn't helping. It's fine though, got some free time to myself, and I need some freedom.

  23. Thanks for starting the positivity thread! It's always good to reflect on some positive things.

    1. RiverLight

      RiverLight

      YW! I'm so glad it's helping!! It DOES help to reflect on the positives!!!! =)

  24. Lund - Rx Luv

    Lately I been harboring my feelings, tryna hide
    Drown myself in alcohol to **** the things inside
    Maybe I should I should deal with all this pain
    Easier to take a ****in bullet to my brain
    THC and ethanol are running thru my veins
    Talking to myself, ask myself if I'm insane
    Why can't I let it go? I'm addicted to the pain
    Nothing but a low life, I can never change

  25. Thank you for all you've done on the forums, and being an amazing friend.

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