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Jalen

Senior Member
  • Content Count

    637
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Jalen last won the day on September 8 2017

Jalen had the most liked content!

About Jalen

  • Rank
    Senior Member
  • Birthday April 17

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    US

Contact Methods

  • Skype
    Message me if you would like to know.

Recent Profile Visitors

7,290 profile views
  1. hi, im doing okay, im hurting really bad and im really messed up on a lot of substances, so im sorry. ill be fine,

    i really do love every one of you

     

  2. Feeling a lot of things right now, but mostly lonely. It's just a perpetual feeling, never seems to go away.

    Sometimes I question if anything is real at all.

    -Jalen

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. idkusername465

      idkusername465

      I'm rooting for you Jalen!

    3. womanofthelight

      womanofthelight

      I've MISSED YOU SO MUCH.  I'm sorry you're lonely.  There's no loneliness like the loneliness of not being understood.  I think I can speak for everyone when I say we are here for you; rooting for you; willing to give you the support you need.  Love, WOTL

    4. Kellyb79

      Kellyb79

      Hey stranger. I haven't been on here nearly as much as I used to be.. Things just got hectic. But I'm trying to make it a point to get on here as much as possible again. During my chaos, I realized just how much i need everyone here. And that maybe they need me too. We're all here for you.

  3. Seems like a lot of people have left this forum since I took a break.

    Love you all,

    -Jalen

    1. idkusername465

      idkusername465

      Yea theres been a lot of drama

      I hope you're doing well

       

  4. Where ya been, buddy? Let us know you're still makin' it, dude!

    1. Jalen

      Jalen

      Hey, I'm sorry It's been so long.

      I'm still up and running.

      I guess I'm just lost. But I'm making it.

      I love all of you.

  5. I'm so thankful I have friends in times like this.
  6. It's been a while...but I'll probably be more active again soon. I just don't ****ing know anymore... Every day...I feel so worthless...I felt good for a bit but now I'm right back where I started. I don't know what the **** to do...Anger, Sadness, Anxiety. I don't know what's missing...I've got friends...nice stuff...you guys...people who care about me...yet I still feel so empty... I keep starting out a new line with "I want," but I always end up deleting it...I don't know what I want...what do I want out of this life? I don't know...I just don't understand... I'm fighting these demons...and I feel so alone. I'm working my hardest, to no avail. Like what the **** else do you want from me? School starts back up soon...woo hoo. Love you all, Best Wishes, -Jalen
  7. Hey, just want to let you all know I'm okay...life's been looking up for me. I've been happier more recently, and my meds seem to be helping.

    Love you all,

    -Jalen

    1. Natasha1

      Natasha1

      I was thinking about you ladt night and this morning. So glad you checked in!

    2. idkusername465

      idkusername465

      We're all wishing you well 

  8. Hey, just want to let all of you know I'm okay but I probably won't be able to get back on these forums for a very long time.

    Love you all,

    -Jalen

    1. Azealia

      Azealia

      Hugs?

    2. Natasha1

      Natasha1

      See you sooner than you say i hope. Hugs 

    3. carter_burn1

      carter_burn1

      I just thought about you out of nowhere, pal...this last status update is a bit concerning, but I'll trust you when you say you're okay. If you read this, take this next to heart, pal...you are going to be okay. You're a conscientious young man with a lot of love in his heart. I've seen you set aside your own issues time and again to try to help others. There's a selflessness about you that isn't common in humans, let alone those as young as you. Remember what I told you...stand and be true, Jake  ;P  You'll be fine, lad, and you know my number whenever you get the chance to drop a line. Love ya, kid.

       

      Shane

  9. Here's a s***ty poem I wrote...

    I look around,
    Things so hazy,
    I feel nothing,
    Think I'm going crazy,
    I tell myself it'll all be okay,
    All this will go away someday,
    But for how long can I lie,
    How long can I hold back the urge to die,
    I want to give up every day,
    I see no other way,
    But I keep pushing forward,
    In hopes the future will hold a reward,
    I silently cry,
    As I sit down and wonder why,
    Why does this world crush me down,
    A world where it's normal to be pushed around,
    You put up with others bulls***,
    Their words like a bullet,
    The loneliness eats you alive,
    Making it so hard to survive,
    A knife, a bottle, your only friends,
    Everything else a fiend,
    Demons haunt you day and night,
    How easy it would be to end the fight,
    Give up, surrender, let them win,
    Why not just give in?

     

    Hope you all have been okay.

    I'm doing pretty sh!tty.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. mulberrypie

      mulberrypie

      My thoughts exactly, Jalen. I couldn't have said it any better. This is brilliant. :hugs:

    3. rainingviolets

      rainingviolets

      Lean on your friends,

      We love you dearly.

      We're here on online,

      To help you think clearly.

      Reach out to us,

      Put down that knife!

      We're here to listen,

      And bless your life.

    4. idkusername465

      idkusername465

      This is a really great poem Jalen!

      If you're feeling up to it, maybe you could write some more in a journal or something to help get your feelings out!

      Wishing you the best!

  10. well i just wrote out a long post but as i should have expected my phone turned off right before posting so sorry for the short post after so long. I know I haven't been around much recently, sorry about that... It feels like the demons are surrounding me and engulfing me and destroying me, everyday I fight and everyday it gets worse, like if I were to give up it be smoother and easier. On top of that I know I'm going crazy, and all of these things the team of doctors working on me thinks I have just proves it. I'm going back and forth between so many emotions so fast, it's f\\\ing ridiculous. I'm so tired and weak. I've been drinking a lot recently and I think my parents might have caught on.
  11. Sorry I haven't been on much, got a lot of sh!t going on right now.

    Not dead yet, guess that's good.

    Hope you all are doing okay.

    1. womanofthelight

      womanofthelight

      Thanks for the update!  I've missed you.

      Take care --

      Marianna

    2. rainingviolets

      rainingviolets

      Hey old (but very young!) friend!

      I popped in to check on you. You sound down. Send me a message sometime and let me know how things are. Your remain in my prayers. I still have high hopes that things will turn around for you. Remember the things I shared with you. I came from an abusive, dysfunctional family. Like you I thought my life was as good as over when I was 16 and younger. Today my life is wonderful. In spite of chronic physical pain, I still use the word "wonderful." An even better word is " blessed." I think of those early years as the training ground that prepared me for life, but more than anything they taught me to be grateful for the people in my life today and to never ever take anyone or anything for granted.

    3. womanofthelight

      womanofthelight

      Yeah!  What rainingviolets said! 

      Also, I have a mantra that works.  "Things are always working out for me."  Say it when you feel good; say it when you feel bad.  It changes your energy and not only creates hope and gratitude, but manifests physical results.

       Thinking you with love, Jalen.  Miss you.

      xo,

      WOTL

  12. I want to die, my best friend's dead because of me. All my friends are going crazy and I'm going along with them. L1quor can only help so much.
  13. Doing pretty sh!t, my mom kinda freaked out a few hours ago when her and I got in an argument and she got really upset and angry then drove away without saying anything and isn't back yet, so I feel really bad now. I guess it wasn't really my fault though, or I hope it wasn't at least. On the other hand, found some music I like and I've been listening to it nonstop, that's managed to make me feel a bit better. Best Wishes, -Jalen
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