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About SailingSoul

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  1. Thank you. This is true. I will do my best for him.
  2. I feel the same exact way. I've had to fight and claw for everything normal people have laid in their lap...
  3. my baby is fine.. they'll be 24 weeks by tommorow. Decided to call him Sydney. Lately, Ive just been having mixed emotions. I love my baby I just hate the circumstances. Im a single mom, I'm not married, I don't have the best job... i feel like Im failing him already. I feel like he's coming into the world with a broken family. Just me and my mom. no dad no aunts or uncles on his dads side.. my dad is crappy and my brothers are emotionally unavailable. I just feel alot of guilt and shame bc my baby deserves so much more. I hate im not married and I don't have anyone to share the joys of my baby with, going to his appointments, idk..its just very depressing. If i weren't pregnant id for sure be drinking right now. Idk, you guys can't begin to fathom how much i hate myself right now. I just wish I could not exist. Some days I feel it takes everything in me to not ham myself, I don't because my baby deserves to live he deserves life I don't. I wish with a passion I could just go but.. for his sake I don't.
  4. hello my baby is fine.. emotionally Im not not right now and Im gonna make anothr thread for it.
  5. Thanks You all are a blessing. I've been feeling kinda down bc I'm just doing all this alone. I have no one to share these special moments with-- my mom, though she's supportive..works long hours and sleeps alot so i go to appointments by myself ... Idk. Its rough.
  6. Im back from the ER and my baby is ok... However the Dr said if my baby isnt moving all day i shouldnt wait till the next day( i have anxiety and didnt want to over react) During this, i saw my boobie on the ultrasound and ( i hadnt eaten or drunk anything) and though my baby had a heart beat... He was just lying there. It broke my heart... However, once i ate a prenatal and drank soda he started moving about( i dont have issues with food i eat constantly. Its just today i was supposed to get up early to get my mom but decided to detour to the hospital to check on baby.. So i didny have a chance to eat yet) Anywho.. I feel guilty and riddled with anxietu that my baby was just slumped there bc of me.. Im having a hard time coping. Im doing this alone n have no one to talk to... Its very sad to me.. Im trying to strong but feel very weak instead.
  7. I know this isn't the best forum because its not a pregnancy forum ..however, I am depressed and you guys reply fairly quicker than the other forum. Anywho, things were fine a few days ago...my little bubby was moving and extremely active..and today this entire day I didn't feel any movement and I'm obviously worried I'm gonna call the Dr tomorrow ...if it continues.. It just saddens me how flimsy life in the womb is.. no guarantee at all. idk my boobie is my biggest motivator. I already bought baby clothes,, I don't want to lose him. I also decided to name him Sydney or Julian.
  8. Idk im not feeling today i just feel really depressed. Was supposed to be going through this program that'll help me get a trade.. but theyre dragging their feet to get my file approved... I just want a bett3r job and life fpr my baby.
  9. Hello. Its so nice to hear from someone who is also expecting. I had my current ultrasouns a few days ago.. My baby is totally fine. Idk for me its not a chemcial imbalance in my brain that makes me depressed its just my situation and circumstances.. I hope youre doing well.
  10. I have. I told my mom... She can be helpful and other times annoying. I really hate i got myself in this situation. I love my baby as always.. Just wish my circumstances were better.
  11. Yeah im glad they caught it early...so hopefully ill be okay.
  12. UPDATE : Went in for my 2nd trimester 19 week Ultra sound and I got aot of overwhekming news. for one, I have hpv they said my cervix cells were abnormal and I could be at risk for cervical cancer.. my baby has a soft spot on his heart which could be an indicator of down syndrome (I'll love my child regardless) he also has a risk for anemia... being hit with all this is ovewhelming... it zapped all my energy... I feel like I have a death sentence.
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