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About SailingSoul

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  1. happy, calm, blocks anxious thoughts? I just feel a bit down because Im going to have my baby soon and I just feel alone. I don't have real friends I can hang out with and enjoy-- the loneliness is hard to cope with and it'll get worse when my baby gets here. I know.
  2. Thanks you guys. You're all so supportive. I really need a place like this where i can just unload. Its such a blessing.
  3. Im just reaching a boiling point. Im 39 weeks pregnant and I feel I do more than my brother. He has no job, license, just eats everything. So i basically pick up and drop everyone off at work. Dropped my bro off at midnight. Picked my mom up at 6a. Walked the dogs...then took my little bro to school...all while my middle bro slept on the couch. I asked him to clean the kitchen all yesterday and he didnt do it. Roll over to today..asked him to clean before he left to help my granmda move...ofc it didnt get done.( honestly he was supposed to go yesterday but he didnt because he just slept all day smh) I tell my mom and she bitches saying you dont clean..and it has to be done regardless. All this does is enable my damn brother bc someone is always gonna clean up my brother's messes and do for him what should be done. But let it be me thats just laying around she would threaten me and scream her head off.. Im close to resenting my mom honestly. Im trying my hardest not to scream at her. Another thing. My mom knows im abt to have a small child soon. So were swapping with the car.. Im taking over the car note and shes doing the insurance.. Car note is 558. Insurance is 250. The note is too much... Plus me paying my granmda childcare 400 a month.. Ill only save 600ish and then i have to count misc. Items me and my son will need. I just dont feel like any of this is fair. Im trying to get out of this situation with my sanity in tact but i feel i almost have to die to get out of this Bullshxt situation. So annoying!
  4. I worry about this alot because I have issues standing up for myself . I feel such a rush of anxiety when it comes to confrontation it feels like I might pass out. I hate Im such a coward and I let people say whatever. Its just something hard for me to fix and I don't know where to begin. I just want to be a good protector for my son but I feel like such a weak human being.
  5. Im very nervous to talk about it to anyone. I know, so counterproductive to complain about soomething and not take action. Im just kind of afraid. But im feeling somewhat better these days.
  6. Can anyone reccommend depression meds? I know I'm gonna go through post partum with all I deal with and I need to be functioning. I feel some shame even at the thought of discussing this with someone-- ive been good at covering my issues for so long.. but Im losing the ability to cope and I just want something that'll keep me from spirialing into a dark place so I won't off myself.
  7. I don't know where to begin. I literally have a headache-- I just feel like Ive just been treated unimportantly during my pregnacy from being left out at school on the stair well for 1-2 hrs each time I attend till now. I just feel my mom has been so moody yet Im the one expecting. She was nice yesterday and got me some things and something to eat but early today my mom just chewed me out saying all i do is sleep which isn't true. Early I got back from picking up my brother from work. I take everyone too and from, helping with the dogs, helping cook and clean and it bothered me so much she's day this and on my birthday.. but ironically she was the one that ended up sleeping ( she went to work later so she wanted to rest up which I understand) but still.. I just found that kind of hypocritical. Then my mom stated she wanted to move and take the car(which is also my car) and I felt so betrayed bc I do alot for my mom. Also the day has passed and my dad has yet to say happy birthday-- but he could text me to remind me to tell his brother (my uncle) happy birthday when my uncle doesn't call, text or visit but he can't call and text me happy bday. (My dad has this fked up thing he does where he doesnt display love he just says it and even then its once in a blue moon--he'll just be like oh I may not always show you I love you but I do. Or text happybday at 12 midnight..crap like that) I wanted to go out to eat and go to the movies but I had no one to go with and my mom needed the car so i couldn't go to the movies. So for my birthday I just got ice cream and picked up my brother from school and thats it. right now Im just sitting here trying to calm 2 small dogs down. the girl is in heat and the boy wants to mount.. and he's whinning like hell idk this is my life right now. Idk watching youtube videos of people that overcome the worst situations life could deal them helps me a little bit. and makes me feel like I should be gratfeul that my life isn't that bad. I guess. Im just losing my ability to cope though and I just need more ways to cope bc I feel its going to get worse when the baby finally comes. Sad part is, tommorow is my brother's birthday sooo "My day" is short lived.
  8. Ans im sorry abr your mom and family. Im always here if u need encouragemnt.
  9. Thank you. You guys are veey kind. You guys are helping more than you know.
  10. Thank you guys everyone that replied. Im feeling worlds better ❤️
  11. Oh Mark im so sorry. I hope you find comfort. Im happy you made it to 64..im hoping and wishing for more years for you.
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