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About SailingSoul

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  1. Still thinking about those shitty customers... I dont want to work tonight. I feel like such a weak person.
  2. My next appointment isnt until the 23rd of this month... Im 16 weeks but not showing. I fear My baby stopped developing... When thats confirmed i already planned on offing myself. My life is already shitty to lose my baby too is even worse and i dont want to live through that.
  3. I had an irritating day at work with entitked people... Idk i dont care what hapoens anymore.
  4. Im still nervous abt my baby. Im 16 weeks going on 17 and cant feel my baby.
  5. Yeah people who havent struggled dont get it or say unhelpful things. Or worse the obvious uhg.
  6. Im getting pretty annoyed with the pregnancy forum im on. Some are being kinda bitchy...telling me to tell my mom.. Theyve been patient with me, get my shit together... Telling jusr isnt easy and im not in the best situation and i dont know why they dont get that. They arent being helpful.
  7. Thank you. I also got more frightening news... My pap came back abnormal...
  8. Thats th3 thing. I want to. I want to give my child the world...but... Im just so poor and all the avenues ive thought of and tried to pursue to make more money are getting slammed in my face.
  9. Yes. I love my child..always will.. Just in a solution with no way out.
  10. I really do think i may consider suicide because ....all of this is exhausting, trying to find a way out with no help. My only prayer is that when i do it.... It'll be final. No coming back bullshit. Just done.
  11. I don't make alot concerning money, with 1 car i cant get a 2nd job, ill have a hard time with insurance. Idk i cant do this.
  12. I really dont think i can do this. Im trying. If just ome thing would work out I could see clearer. Theyre keeping me from getting into a program so i can provide for my baby. My mom could help me get into phlebotomy but she won't even though i gave her 900 for her nursing school which she gave back...but i was eilling to help her and i don't get the same in return unless its benefiting her ..like with my car smh. I also found out im a silent carrier for Alpha Thalassemia, it can cause a host of problems for my baby from anemia, brittle bones, organ enlsrgement.. Just alot... Public housing where im at is currently closed... I feel so lost. I never truly wanted to die more than I do now. I just need one thing to go right... Just one And it wont like im supposed to off myself.
  13. Today im really anxious and depressed. The school im trying to register with is giving me so many excuses and run arounds to keep me from registering... 2 gave me different start dates and one didnt inform me that the classes were filled already even though were no where near Msy 20th and its too early now to register for the later date smh.. But im worried theyll give me the same run around. Also i had baby mail ( health insurance) mailed to the house. My dumbass brother takes it back to my aunts house instead of coming back home... My aunt will be so gleeful to know im pregnant and spread it all across our shitty family. I feel so stressed then my feiend isnt listening to my issues. I listen all day to his gf problems but i dont get the same in return being pregnant and dealing with this shit. Im at the very end of my rope. I feel jm about to throw up and dissociate at the same time.
  14. Thank you. I need this safe plce...im on a pregnncy forum and they dont get mt situation and some tell me i need to gwt mt shxt togetger...wel one...and im like im already aware of that...another says im rejecting advice. Im not. I jyst need a place to vent.. Thank u guys for that.
  15. I have. Im doing what i can to get on all of those resources thatll help.
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