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MarkintheDark last won the day on December 13 2018

MarkintheDark had the most liked content!


About MarkintheDark

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  1. Trust me, I'm not a professional, but I do have a few hours in therapy under my belt. That one simple statement really jumped off the page at me. I may be reading too much into it, but from my experience, that's exactly the kind of goals I've set for myself. In short, to be my own parent and to nurture my own child. Does that make any sense to you? My read is that you've inadvertently hit on something important.
  2. Given the shortage of USB ports on the new lappy, decided I'd find a keyboard/mouse/dongle thingie. On checkout, they discounted it $24 off the shelf price.
  3. MarkintheDark

    The Post Anything Thread #3

    My cat is chill...literally. Again tonight he decided he wanted to squeeze into the refrigerator to explore. I had to wait patiently until he was done.
  4. MarkintheDark

    How Do You Feel Right Now #10

    This is odd...and annoying. I feel like sh#t today. After a bad, but not lousy, week, felt calm and relaxed yesterday, enough to do things like groceries. Then when the new lappy arrived, threw myself into the setup...spaghetti and software. I like that stuff. Granted, ok, I pulled an all-nighter. That's not unusual for me. It felt pleasant and productive with only a couple frustrations. I'll probably come out of this as the day goes on. Just didn't expect it.
  5. MarkintheDark

    How Do You Feel Right Now #10

    Feeling accomplished, if a bit disorganized with the spaghetti. Unpacked and got the new lappy running this evening exactly two weeks following the bricking of the old one. [geek talk follows] So far, this sucker's fast. Most everything I do (OS and browser) requires some extension to customize size, performance, etc. Pleased I've been able to disable Ms. Cortana and regain some Win7 functionality with Winaero. Have been finally able to ditch analogue on my desktop panel. There IS a difference. Oh, no more ethernet cable either. Still have my four photo editing programs to install, plus printer and scanner drivers. And I'll be rerouting spaghetti all weekend to a more manageable state.
  6. MarkintheDark

    How Do You Feel Right Now #10

    Although I didn't get out early, as I would have preferred, my day's ok. For one, a couple days' shutdown - despite my negative take on it - got me rested. It may simply have been what I needed. For another, my mind's relatively quiet. First day I've actually felt the pressure's off. For example, doing groceries today WASN'T really an effort (i.e., having to find the energy to squeeze that task in with all the other tasks). I was relaxed.
  7. LDRs are tough enough without these issues. I concur with @lonelyforeigner on this one. Reread his post. For the sake of MY sanity I've had to put my foot down with people, even a family member, on the subject of untreated depression. I've had to set clear boundaries. I'll reiterate, too, you're NOT his emotional garbage can. tbh, I've sometimes had to put the onus on them - tough as it sounds - as an either/or proposition. Either you get help or we're done. I will not let myself be treated this way. In a couple cases it's ended the friendship. Most importantly, I didn't let myself be dragged down with them.
  8. MarkintheDark

    ejc's "What are you watching right now?" Thread, Part 2

    FINALLY got around to streaming "The Last Jedi" (I'm old, so I don't have to keep on top of things). First episode I've seen with storyline twists and content worthy of Lucas' original trilogy (IV, V, VI). As a former editor, I was impressed that they finally incorporated contemporary editing styles and techniques into this one. Took the series out of the realm of feeling dated.
  9. MarkintheDark

    How Do You Feel Right Now #10

    Feeling odd. Have been shutting down - not in a good way - yesterday and today. As I surmised with my T, a good portion may simply be emotional exhaustion from the past five months. (I'm NOT touching Mom's car issue/sale until next week at the earliest. Period.) A few options I have: Can get out to shoot with one of the guys tomorrow morning if I'm up before dawn...hell, just for the company since the U.S. shutdown has put him on the sidelines. Chamber of Commerce weather. I can still feel encouraged the new lappy arrives tomorrow and that I have a three-day weekend to mess around with it. At this point, I can only say, "We'll see...."
  10. MarkintheDark

    How Do You Feel Right Now #10

    My battery isn't holding the charge. As I told the T this morning, five months of this sh#t with Mom has caught up with me and, with her now safely in assisted living and her apartment closed out this week, I can let go of being "on-call."
  11. MarkintheDark

    How Do You Feel Right Now #10

    You're more than welcome to lug 100+ lbs. of TV to the curb for me! Nah. Shot out a text that essentially said, "I've done what I can. Now I'M done." In fact, I may do NOTHING today...I'm so over five mos. of this sh#t.
  12. MarkintheDark

    ejc's "What are you watching right now?" Thread, Part 2

    Came across an interesting Netflix series I've been binging called "Black Mirror." If you recall the 1990s reboot of the 60s series "The Outer Limits," this is as if the Brits had gotten ahold of it and insisted on BBC production values (particularly Season 4). imo, probably a bit too cerebral for most American tastes...and that's probably why I'm enjoying it.
  13. MarkintheDark

    How Do You Feel Right Now #10

    In limbo, I guess. The TV guy ghosted me on pickup up that large tube TV. And I've a few things I could take to the curb for bulk pickup. And a church lady still has a key to Mom's apt. But her officially now-ex-landlord knows all that. I guess I'm done with it if I want to be. As I texted him, I've done about all I can do. A pretty unsatisfying end.
  14. MarkintheDark

    Living without Sex

    With respect, I don't think "if I was a male" is any more valid a hypothesis than, "if I was black," etc. I think presumptuousness is an area in which we have to tread lightly and respect the EXPERIENCES of others. Although I'm a gay man, I have no frame of reference to even begin to fully comprehend the experience of a black transsexual woman. I must respect HER experience. To wit, as a gay man, I've for years resented being held to, say, a standard of monogamy by those who are heterosexual and/or who desire to impose their narrow standards on me (i.e., sodomy laws). They have no clue anything else exists. Lest I go completely off-topic, yes, the meds have at times affected me, particularly Paxil and Zoloft. And, truly, it was a struggle to decide. Nature and age inadvertently kinda solved that conundrum for me.
  15. MarkintheDark

    How Do You Feel Right Now #10

    Turning out to be one of those "let it go" days. Cleaners did a bang up job on Mom's apt. Had a few more dam things to clear out. But I'm still waiting to hear from the guy to pick up that monster tube TV. Gonna nap instead.