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  1. Please don't. I hope that was a rash comment. We are here to help one another. If you need to talk, please let me know. I can just listen if that is what you need. Sometimes venting can make a huge difference in how we feel.
  2. I honestly didn't expect to be back here for awhile. Things have been so much better for me for such a long time. But now, I've come to a very difficult time with my teenager that has rocked me to the core. I feel broken, unbelievably hurt, and lost. The most important person in my life has hurt me beyond belief. MY KID/TEENAGER! Never in my life have I been cursed at, yelled at, vulgarity spewed at, as I have recently experienced with my 16 yr old. I tried so hard to keep my cool during this "meltdown" on her part. I even tried to distance myself so all parties could calm down. But my teenager continued to follow me and spew such vulgarities! It has rocked me to my core. I have never been so hurt, confused, and frustrated. I don't know what to do. But I have scheduled time with a counselor for both my teenager and I. I'm not trying to be selfish. Obviously my kid has a lot going on in her head that we need to hash out. But this recentl prLedicament has put me in a tailspin to regress with my own depression and axiety. I am now personally struggling within as well as hurting for my child and all the hurt she is feelling. I feel lost, frustrated, and need help. I want to help my daughter, how do I help fix her own anguish, hurt, and hate. Then I feel guilty for how I feel on a personal level. I am SO unbelievably hurt by her words. She is the MOST important person in my life. I would do anything for. And I feel destroyed. I shouldn't be focusing on myself, but her anguish. But I CANT discount what this has done to ME and my own personal struggles. I don't know what to do. I have never in my life felt so much pain as I do now. I want to be there for my daughter, but to do that I NEED TO BE THERE. I dunno, maybe this is just me rambling.
  3. Hey. Sorry your back for obvious reasons, but the upside is there are others with the same kind of struggles. I seem to be up and down myself and pop on here randomly. It's hard when things are low and its nice to have somewhere to turn at least to vent or something. Hang in there and fingers crossed for an upswing for both of us.
  4. I can't speak to the level Adderall will help or hurt, but it is a definite drug that can have neg or pos side effects. When my daughter was diagnosed with ADHD we tried Adderall for the first option, but it didn't really work for her. She still spaced and couldn't focus on what was in front of her. But that doesn't mean things got easier after the fACT. We went thru meds increase but they didn't really work for her . We actually ended up trying different avenues.
  5. This day is my hard day. Yesterday may not be the same. Irregardless I need a shoulder or someone to vent to or feel something.
  6. The sun will rise as you say, the thing is you have to be part of that sun.You be your own sun. Things get so hard, but all it takes is one moment, to actually think...then take that thought to the next level. You can do this, we all can do this. It is SO HARD, each day has its own hurdles, and it will NEVER be easy no matter what. Sometimes it will be good for a long period of time and we just need to relish in that, but still hold steady as the darkness seems to always return. But that is why we come here, to this site, to connect with those who know the pain or struggles we go through. Hang in there. You are not alone!
  7. No worries. I know I feel the same way. Overwheled....or however you spell it, when it comes to family. They are our anchor, yet also our achilies heel. I can fee so much better one day, but then I take on the problems of my family and I'm back at zero. It's hard enough to take care of myself, but when you incorporate my family the pressure is surmountable. Hang in there!
  8. Hey all! I am having a down kinda day. I'm not even really sure why. Woke up that way. I know I've recently hit the big 40 and my sister in law is going to be 40 soon. So we were planning this girls trip in May, but now she's kinda getting ify about it. I had something to look forward to, but now its "on hold". So, I'm down about that, but I other than that, I'm not sure why today sucks so much. It just does. I'm not holed up in bed, either. I'm ansy and feel like I need to be doing something... cleaning, laundry, a project, I dunno. SOMETHING! I'm just in a funk, I guess, and have NO idea how to get out of it? Any suggestions?
  9. I've been trying to do what is require on this site, regarding posting. I miss having the ability to join the chat conversation. So I have been weighing in on some of the blogs. Don't get me wrong. I totally believe what I've said. But sometimes I don't have a lot more to say other than being understanding and empathic. I will continue to "speak" to those blogs that touch me, but in the interim, would anyone be willing to help me get to the 20 post min. for the chat requirements.
  10. Hello! Hang in there, first and foremost. I completely understand that feeling of needing to "feel free". I want that more than anything, too. I don't really have any advice to give, but can offer a shoulder or an ear. This disease that we share, can be crippling if we let it. And we do, unless we have the support of others to conquer it. I offer you that support. Anytime.. any day... any moment. Vent, scream, cry...laugh...jump for joy.. or collapse in sorrow, I've been there and will be there for you, if I can. It'll never be easy, but that's the beauty of sites like this. We all have a place we can come to that can offer solice.
  11. I hate and love the holidays. They stress me out big time. I spend so much time trying to orchestrate on where to go, when we have to go, and meet all expectations, I feel like I miss out on what the true meaning of the holiday is. I just want to be able to relax and enjoy them, without feeling like I've disappointed someone by not being where they want me to be. I love my family, but it is so hard when our family is so split and I also have to work with my daughter's dad to make sure everyone has a "holiday". Sometimes I just can't wait for the holiday time to be over so its one less thing I have to worry about. But whatever, we make it through. Sometimes I have to be selfish to be able to allow myself the sanity to say its ok not to do everything everyone wants me to. I dunno. Fingers crossed this year runs smoothly. So far so good, but as usual I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.
  12. Absolutely! It sucks how it can be so easy to forget the good things, but the bad things just won't go way. We are human, so we will undoubtedly make mistakes. I have had my fair share. A lot I wish I could forget forever, but still haunt me from time to time. I don't think there is any magic to obsolve us, other than basic faith. However, even then we can forgive but not forget. I really believe in, Time CAN heal all wounds. Sometimes its the time that helps lesson the memory of sadness, sometimes is time that makes us stronger, and sometimes there are other factors. We just HAVE to take time for ourselves, learn ourselves, be patient with ourselves and others.
  13. Holiday's are always SO hard. I feel you with that. For me it gets hard trying to meet all the "obligations" and make everyone happy. Sometimes I feel like I miss out on being able to relax and enjoy holiday time since I'm so stressed about making sure I see everyone possible. UGH. So frustrating. Sometime it makes me wish I was thousand miles away so I didn't have to make so many concessions. Don't get me wrong, I love my family and want to be with them, but like so many our family is fractured so I feel pulled into so many different directions.
  14. I don't think I'm msg the right way. Sorry

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. NoraRae



      Hey! How are things going for you? I'm about 50/50 so that ain't too bad. Do you know why I can't 'chat' anymore? How do I correct that? It was so helpful to get immediate responses. Don't get me wrong, I like the one on one chat/messaging. I just feel like I've been blocked from chat and I really found that super helpful.

      My best to you!




    3. Grant500


      Long time no hear. I don't know why you were banned.
      How are things going other than that?


    4. NoraRae


      Doing pretty good these days. Things have been stressful at work, but I've some issues so I actually feel pretty good about it. I've worked a lot of OT time, but I don't mind so much and am actually looking forward to my timecard to see what benefits have been reaped. How about you? Doing ok?

  15. Hey Grant. Figured I'd try to PM you.


    1. Show previous comments  17 more
    2. Grant500


      Things are going well for me.

      I was in a bit of a funk for a couple days. I go through periods where I get obsessed over stupid stuff than I get bored just as quickly. I woke up in a pretty dark space a couple of times. I think it was because i realized that anything that can bring you joy or entertainment will eventually run out.

      How are you doing?

      I don't know much about you. Can you tell me a little about yourself? Age, gender, job, etc.


    3. NoraRae


      Doing ok, I guess. It comes and goes.. depression that is. I was great for awhile, but started packing on the pounds big time so I asked to change meds. So now, I'm back to square one. The med change was SO hard on me. But I'm doing better now. Not sure I'm "good" yet, but at least I'm not a total complete mess.

      As far as me.. female, pushing 40 this month with scares the out of me. I feel like such a failure in life, but that's a whole diff story.

      What about you? Who are you?

    4. Grant500


      I'm 36 year old male. I graduated with a degree in graphic design at almost the exact time that stopped being a useful degree. I do a little freelance here and there but I mostly make consider my degree useless.

      I paint a little bit and read fairly regularly. I spend too much time on the internet. I like board games. I have a fiancee who is pretty awesome but she has two kids who are obnoxious. My fiancee is very supportive and kind. I get irritated at times because I feel like I don't get enough time to myself.

      I don't really know where I want my life to go. I feel like I'm wasting my life delivering pizzas but I didn't really like working in a cubicle and from my experience, the money isn't good enough to justify being that unhappy... I've thought about pursuing illustration more but I worry I'll be just traveling the same route. Graphic Design was something that used to make me happy and doing it as a career ruined that. I don't want to do the same thing with painting.

      Sorry for the long winded reply but... I guess that's kinda everything going on with my life.

      Hope to talk to you again.

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