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posie_riot

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Everything posted by posie_riot

  1. The problem with those psychological websites is that they don't offer a reasonable solution. Someone could probably argue that falling in love in general and having your heart broken is "unhealthy" But unfortunately, it's a part of life for most people. I'm so glad that finding others you can relate to has helped you and that you're still able to turn to your CO for comfort. You're certainly not alone, and there are a lot more people like us out there who aren't on this site.
  2. I agree with the title change, Audrey. I came here as someone with underlying mental health issues who genuinely fell in love with a celebrity. My CO was not my problem – if anything he was a “solution” of sorts. The true problem was my entire life leading up to me falling for him. I came here because of my inability to deal with certain aspects of his personal life (his love life, of course). I was looking for support from others who were struggling with the same sort of thing. To this day, I’m still barely coping with things I can’t accept about his life. I have all the secondary problems that go along with that – feelings of intense envy, despair, self-loathing. I’ve felt for a long time that I no longer belong on this thread, and I don’t mean that in a please pity me sort of way. It’s just a fact that my issue is a little extreme compared to what the majority of posters are going through now and I no longer feel comfortable fully expressing myself. I have to wonder how many lurkers have been turned off of posting or signing up due to this change that’s been occurring over a long period of time. This is supposed to be a mental health forum where people talk about the mental health-related issues associated with “celebrity obsession”. Describing what we’re doing as “unhealthy” seems inappropriate given that context. For those of us who are in love and/or feel a deep sense of admiration for our COs, it adds an unnecessary stigma and sense of shame to what we’re experiencing. That said, I’ve noticed that for a certain number of people who have discovered this thread – the word ‘unhealthy’ is actually not so inaccurate. Maybe we do need to have two different threads going now, as @Helpme26 suggested.
  3. My heart really goes out to you @sv14. I wish your CO could see and appreciate your dedication to him. It isn't fair, and now he's stuck (for the time being) with a woman who seems to have some ulterior motives. For his sake and yours, I hope he wakes up eventually. I have to state the obvious here. Marriage doesn't mean what it used to mean. Don't think that all is lost and that he's trapped with this (likely ill-suited) woman forever. You asked what I did when I found out about my own CO's marriage. I started telling myself right away that he'll probably get divorced. It doesn't make the current situation any easier, but I'm not going to give up hope that this situation he's in won't last forever. Echoing what others have said...being a full-time carer for your father is an incredibly important and meaningful job. Your father is incredibly lucky to have you to take care of him. What you're doing is amazing You're adding more to the world than most people.
  4. I'm so, so sorry @sv14. The same thing happened to me. My CO married his "friend" a few months ago. I completely understand your devastation and I feel exactly the same way. I'm sending you a million hugs.
  5. Disregard what I said. You know your own personal situation better than I do. Believe it or not, I have reached rock bottom over my own CO (you can glance through my posting history if you want, and I'll edit in a link to my first post here...edit:https://www.depressionforums.org/forums/topic/40244-unhealthy-obsession-with-a-celebrity-please-help/?page=284&tab=comments#comment-1296705 ) You say that you have told two therapists about this, but I take it they haven't been able to offer much of a solution? The only thing I can possibly suggest to you is that you continue to seek professional help until someone takes this issue seriously enough to give you a plan. Unfortunately, the awareness and information just isn't out there. No one seems to know what to do about unrequited love, which is what this is.
  6. Hello @Helpme26 I’m in the same boat as far as not being able to collect photos or watch things with my CO in it. It makes me sad too. This wasn’t always the case for me either, but I've been protecting myself for the last year and a half. He’s married with a baby now and I can’t cope with it. Like you, I have an intense fantasy of being with him. I’m not going to tell you that you’re never going to be with this man because it’s not my place to decide that. I’m reaching out to you mostly to offer support because I don’t really have much advice. I think you should go easy on yourself with the word ‘stalking’. Like HopelessRomantic2011 said, you wouldn’t be the first person to intentionally show up somewhere where your crush is in hopes of speaking to him. Your behaviour doesn’t seem overly concerning to me. The only thing that seems concerning is that you’re spending too much money on this pursuit. Start by seeing if you can put off this trip to London for awhile. Don’t tell yourself that you can never go there. Just tell yourself that you can’t quite afford it right now, but maybe one day in the future you’ll have a more convenient opportunity. Try to go with the flow a little bit more. You don’t know what the future has in store for you. I see nothing wrong with writing him a letter. I think he’d probably like that and maybe he would find it charming. But don’t write it if you’re counting on him writing you back or acknowledging you in some other way. He might just not have the time, but I wouldn’t want you to take his silence personally. You’re not a waste of space in this world (if you are, then all 7.6 billion of us are too). You are a somebody…as much of a somebody as your CO I do know what you're saying though, and there might be a little bit of this going on with me too ("I'm a nobody but with him I'd be a somebody."). It doesn’t explain why I’m in love with my CO, but it might explain some of the envy I feel towards his wife.
  7. Keep your heart open to finding the right person for you (you deserve it) You never know when he might come into your life. Maybe when you least expect it. And when he does, you will not regret any time wasted with the wrong men. Until then, enjoy your COs, if that is what brings you happiness. Being in love with a real person who loves you back is a foreign concept for everyone. Seriously. These things don't come with a manual. No one actually knows what they're doing. What's right for others might not be what's right for you. We don't all follow the same path in life. That sucks that things aren't working out with your therapist. I think that's a common experience though. There needs to be compatibility and sometimes it's just not there. Are you considering finding another one?
  8. There are so many different types of COs on this thread, so it's tricky to even define exactly what "wishing for harm" even means. Grief caused by a broken heart can make you feel some unbelievable things, as you and I both know. I didn't address anyone in particular in my post. I was just throwing my perspective out there, on my situation. I don't suspect that Sally55 is going through the same thing.
  9. I’m in love with my CO and I’ve thought all kinds of terrible things about his relationship with his fiancée. I hope it crashes and burns. I have no mercy for either of them. I’m extraordinarily envious of her – more envious than I ever thought I was capable of being towards another person. I know it’s “wrong”, but I really can’t afford to feel guilty about it. There’s a lot of severe, deep-seated emotional pain behind my thoughts. I know not everyone would be able to understand. You’d have to experience it firsthand in order to fully grasp it. I don’t think I would’ve understood either if I’d never gone through what I’m going through. I agree with @HopelessRomantic2011 that some of the more extreme things that are occasionally said on this thread likely aren’t meant to be taken completely seriously. It’s pretty normal to fantasize about bad things happening to people who have hurt us (even if those people didn’t intend to hurt us). It’s another thing entirely to have an actual plan in place – a plan you intend to follow through with – for how you’re going to inflict misery on someone else’s life. I don’t think anyone on this thread would willingly cause harm to someone because of jealousy related to a CO. Talking about our feelings is one thing, but acting on them is something else entirely. I would never, if given the opportunity, sabotage my CO’s relationship. I reserve the right to fantasize about it falling apart though. I’ve also had plenty of less-than-pleasant thoughts about my CO’s fiancée. I’m pretty sure she can handle it. After all, I’m the one who’s suffering. You could easily say that I’ve secretly wished harm on her, but I’m very certain that this has had zero effect on her life. That’s what matters, as far as I’m concerned. If I have to start feeling bad for what I’m thinking in my head then FFS, I’m never going to catch a break.
  10. Hello.

    1. Audrey822

      Audrey822

      I saw Natasha's post. This looks a little like Facebook's features! 

    2. posie_riot

      posie_riot

      Haha, I had to test out the options! 

  11. I think it's great that you're choosing not to judge him and that your heart still goes out to him. That shows what a loving person you are. I can't blame you for not having a sense of clarity. It's a confusing situation. It's not easy to see someone you care so much about going through something like this. You are right - there are no words. He is human, he made a mistake, and hopefully he has learned from it. I've told you this before... I don't believe you are being punished by God or that you are to blame in any way for not pursuing him. I feel very confident about that. That was true before this news story came out and it's still true now. I don't think that God would have put up as many obstacles if it had been your destiny to go after him. You need to have faith in yourself and trust your decisions. Maybe it was meant to be that you should admire him from afar and send positive energy to him that way. Who says that he can't feel it. You are doing fine, urivgirl. Please trust that.
  12. @Javaaddict We build up these fantasies in our head about being with our COs and then we see the real people our COs are with and it's a bad reality check. I've been there. The fantasies seem mindless and enjoyable as they're happening, but without realizing it, we're kind of tricking our brains into thinking something about these fantasies is real. I don't know why this happens or how to prevent it, but this is why reality hits us like a ton of bricks. Inside our minds, we're not living in reality. It takes some sort of "event" to snap us back to earth and the experience is often startling. If you can, I would do what Audrey suggested and try to ignore this woman. Reclaim the fantasy, remind yourself that it's just a fantasy, and see if you can carry on. You say you're not in love, so I think this is possible for you. It's harmless fun as long as you don't become too invested. Keep in mind that you're probably being rather hard on yourself and I bet your mind is exaggerating this other woman's good traits. She's only human too. The main difference between you and her is that she ended up in your CO's path. Maybe she's a friend of a friend or they were at the same event together. You don't know what he would think of you if you had the opportunity to really talk and get to know him. He might think you're wonderful. Try not to put yourself down over this.
  13. Hi @Honey1992 Come on over to the Celebrity Obsession thread. Many of us can relate to what you're going through:
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