Jump to content

Dysthymic9

Junior Member
  • Content Count

    53
  • Joined

  • Last visited

About Dysthymic9

  • Rank
    Junior Member

Recent Profile Visitors

1,248 profile views
  1. i'm glad you found it inspirational! thats my goal... its tough struggling with depression and anxiety but its not all downs! i'm doing my best to keep up with my routine. the fitsticks help reduce some fatigue that i get dealt throughout the day... Don't give up on trying! It'll happen! Best wishes to you and your future little ones :)
  2. Well it has been awhile since i posted here... a lot has happened..lots of good and some bad.. My last posts mentioned my moving into an apartment with my boyfriend..finally on our own and escaping of other peoples expectations of us while we lived with them. A lot of that fueled my depression.. its been about 6 mos since we've been on our own and in September i found out i'm pregnant. that was a shocker... i believe everything happens for a reason though.. we finally got from underneath people who don't understand us and who just constantly judge into our own place, we managed to get our own vehicles and not have to rely on my dad for one vehicle, who is very unpredictable in his schedule, and have some really good jobs. Another plus...we're about an hour away from all that crap and those people who put a damper on us for far too long. It had really affected our relationship and definitely affected my depression and anxiety, making it feel maxed out alllll the time. I woke up this morning and had a need to post some new things here... particularity about something that helps me get through my fatigued stages, which can be frequent. Since i found out about my pregnancy i was very skeptical of continuing anti depressants. I had the most success on Lexapro but cannot take that during pregnancy. I was put on Zoloft for about a week or two i tried and felt no improvement. Right before my pregnancy i was feeling very down and emotional (now i understand where some of it was coming from) and my boyfriend and i were fighting a lot... well after finding out and some discussions and time we are managing much better and i myself with my depression. I stopped taking Zoloft because it didn't help all that much and i didn't want to put my baby at any risk ( even though some research and doctors told me its very minimal with Zoloft) i chose not to. I've been pretty good without anything, but its a huge thanks to my environment. i feel comfortable with my job, i'm actually working with a manager i had at a different practice and enjoyed working with her very much and there isn't one person that i have a real issue with, and working in an office with all women, its a miracle. We all get along and have fun. Its one of those jobs you get an opportunity once in a lifetime it seems. On top of that, having my own space in our place has been amazing. I struggle the most at home with my depression and will get swallowed in books, tv shows, video games. Clothes pile up, dishes stack higher, and it gets tougher to look at and think its possible to clean... this is where my help comes into play... a co worker had me try Fit Sticks.. it's meant to help you loose weight, enhances energy, and helps enhance your mood...and holy ..it worked. i wasn't using it for weight loss given that i'm pregnant, but it is 100% organic, USDA approved and has ingredients you actually understand and know. It really did wonders for my energy... i hit a point i was naturally more energized because of the pregnancy and stopped using it for a little while..well once that phase left and depression's fatigue hit me again..i took to my Fit Sticks.. It gave me the energy to do a few loads of laundry, clean the kitchen, and cook a meal. With a baby on the way i've naturally been put into gear that i HAVE to overcome this somehow or really alleviate the symptoms. I've set myself up in a routine that has done wonders for me... This is going to be my first weekend where i have no clothes piled, no dishes to do, and no immense general cleaning that needs to be done. I'm proud. After seeing this happen, i know its possible for others, just need to find the right motivation, the right combination. When i get home if i sit on the couch, i know that's where i'll stay until bed time..so i get right to it when i get home, i try to get things together so i don't have to worry too much on my long work nights where i'm totally drained already by the time i get home. It is working! If i have laundry to do and a kitchen to clean from the meal the night before, i throw a load in, i get to work on the kitchen, switch loads, and start dinner, switch loads and keep going until i feel its been enough. The Fit Sticks have kept my energy up and allowed me to continue without falling through half way. I've finally have a consistency done and it feels great. I've definitely have had some tough times in between where i've broken down and cried, felt so tired and just wanted the bed, but in the end i'm seeing i am accomplishing things. Life for anyone takes motivation, determination, and ambition...For people who struggle with Depression and Anxiety you can take that load and times 10.. but it doesn't have to stop us. Once you feel the motivation kick on, go with it. Try to keep it. Remember things that lead to it, whether it was a string of thoughts, an inspirational video or post, or person you talk to. I'd suggest people to try the Fit Sticks... it seriously has made this kick easier to keep for me. Remember.. Don't give up.
  3. I haven't posted in a little bit but wanted to give an update... I feel people tend to stop posting on these sites/forums when things start looking up.. I believe that's because they don't necessarily need this outlet at that point. However, I need to make sure I get out there the positives that still can and will happen to us. My boyfriend and I have lived with others for the past 5 years and 4 of them together. We've gone through living with my alcoholic father who would become very ignorantly and abusive in language for about 2 1/2 years then to my mom's which wasn't too bad but felt we had no privacy..to his grandma's house which was what the last straw that broke the camels back....she was very two faced gossip and I hate to saw such a thing about someone..but we've walked upstairs from the basement and heard her talking down about us after just talking to us about her day or what not...trufully I think she's just lonely.. the main issue was his sister dropping her 2 kids off for days at a time and they would run rampage through the house and started at 63o to 7... they just had no discipline from anybody.. great kids and would listen when you would be stern...but after 6 months we needed an out...that's when we both were struggling with jobs.. I was unemployed and he was working odd long hours .... and when you add someone with depression and anxiety it's even worse... I just felt like I couldn't get a job.... Things looked up though..after being quitting instantly due to a bad episode I went another 2 months waiting for a job (she was gathering info to fire an employee) but taking way too long.. finally came through and I effed up..lost it...then next day ended up getting an interview because I talked to an old manager I was close with... started this new job and I absolutely love it. Even on my late rough nights and very fatigued days.. I just absolutely love pretty much everyone I work with. It's a fun yet serious environment. I've been given several compliments on my work and I just try to stay very focus on what I'm doing and it makes it so much easier when you work with people that are easy to get along with and are just nice.. My boyfriend and I just moved an 1h 30 north and the atmosphere and environment is so nice..rural yet small little towns in between... I love it...things look up...you must keep looking for reasons to get up and goals to get to where you need..it's a rough ride and I've been blessed with a man that's stayed by my side through it all.... I can honestly say it has NOT been peachy the entire time.. it's been rough and sucked and things became very rocky at several times... but you must persevere. We've finally reached our goal of having a place to call our OWN home. We both are working jobs we enjoy and love doing. POINT IS!! You have to keep searching for what you want to find. A new job. New home. A relationship. Feeling better. Feeling determined. You must get creative... something I plan on doing here is putting quotes around the house..in paintings, picutes, stickers...laugh.love loud...when my depression rises again..which unfortunately I feel it might..I'm going to be ready...premeditate your success to beat this! Let's do it together ♡
  4. Positive news happening in others lives always makes seem like it'll happen for me too. The struggle with depression is it does that want nor help you achieve those goals. I always thought I'd make it so much further than where I am currently at... the thing is.. constantly trying to will yourself to keep going is the best thing... at 22 my fiance and I are finally getting our own place..an apartment that's ours. After living with other for 5 +years it's been a struggle mentally to keep life optimistic. We pushed and pushed and finally... we've been approved and it's happening... we both started new jobs in the area which is an 1 to 1 30min away..and it feels so right out there.... things happen that take a greater toll on us than the rest of the population..but I believe things happen for a reason..always.. to build yourself..make yourselve stronger and a true fighter... survivor. It's all about survivng..that's the core of life isn't it?? Survival.. we wouldn't be alive today if it wasn't for humans of all sort to survival past difficult and life threatening things.. now a days we are more "modern" so things are more distracting and what not. The thing is keep your heads up!! No matter what you're going through keep above water, stay on track, keep the D A M N head up!! One day things will appear in your life that you should jump on..oppostunities... and to start fighting through these obstacles sooner it'll become easier or at least more aware of possibilities and try to stay on track. I've struggled with depression and anxiety and I feel also social anxiety..however I try to find ways to fight it..all of it... currently I'm on Lexapro and just began 20 MG of it after a full month on 10mg. I feel much better emotionally.. I still have triggers and what not but also starting a new job with an old manager that I felt comfortable around has helped things... the thing is I had this opportunity 2 years ago and it reappeared and I jumped on it.. best decision ever... The main thing I'm trying to get across is keep aiming and one day you'll swish right in the hoop. will work out.. just need to keep looking..keep your eyes open.. it'll show itself but keep them open and go for it... what do you have to loose?? Hope this helps guys... honestly.. depression, anxiety, and all mental illnesses.. it's a struggle but it's not who we are.
  5. Dysthymic9

    And on that note.

    Nothings wrong with us.. we are just given more tests of strength. I'm a strong believer that everything happens for a reason, you had a good roll, maybe some bumps along the way. Now you're back on the water in your boat and trying to find land. That's what life is about..maybe.. just thinking now but honestly.. we are given lemons and need to make lemonade.. I know cliche but still has a lesson in it. I was just cruising in my boat, I saw land and was headed full speed... then out of no where, a wave came through and knocked me over board... I was struggling to keep my head above water... then someone threw me a life jacket... right now I'm still working on getting back on the boat.. but it'll happen. Just as it will for all of us. Keep your head up.
  6. Haha that's the best. When you're just going about your day and something happens and you burst out laughing and you feel so good after! They say laughter is the cure for everything (if only) but does help! Reading this hilarious entry, I'm so happy you're elderly neighbor is okay but I'm sure you had a great laugh and he's probably super embarrassed you witnessed that. You reminded me of two driving experiences that I just laughed and felt better and got out of my road rage :P 1. Dumb *** in front of me in a pick up went down practically 20Mph and slowly merged to the middle lane causing me (behind him) and the car behind me to slow drastically as well.. I just shook my head and was p***** the driver behind me got so close to hitting me...well I look in my rear mirror and she's flipping off that guy and I started laughing my ass off lol. To see someone else just flip someone else off was great and I gave her a thumbs up in my mirror and she waved back lmao. 2. Happened today! Driving to my therapist appointment I noticed this person next to me texting away at this light not even glancing up to pay attention to the light. ( my biggest pet peeve is texting and driving even at lights!!) Never know when something could happen, but usually end up sitting at a green light with cars of traffic behind you and you're looking at your phone! ...... so what did I do??? Haha as usual she was still texting and the light turned, people started to go... I honk :P windows down for both, I was in a Ford 150 and she's in some smaller car... she jumped and I couldn't help to laugh. After I'm already 250 feet away she honked back... Sorry I know I went on there and off topicish!!
  7. Thanks (: how are things for you? I try to post positive things as much as I can to show people.. good things happen (:
  8. In my previous entry I had a hell of a day.. lost my job, blood boiling over because who I have to live with... now.... haha... let me just point out first.. anytime you're having a crappy day week or month.. keep searching for the right question to ask and you'll receive the right answer... So I lost my job and the next morning (yesterday) I said ya know what... I'm going to open up about my depression and anxiety.. I did and it felt great and she was very sympathetic and I may of saved the job.. I gave 3 references of people I've worked for and 1 of them I opened up a lot to and told about these issues. I'd hear by the end of the week if she'd still consider me even at a part time basis.... Next, I called the 1 reference who was my old manager...we talked for 3 hours last night about my depression and anxiety, jobs, found out she had a bad depressive episode once too and it was a great talk. Found out her office needs a position filled and I told her to mention me and bam.. send my resume to the boss and in the mits of figuring a time to do the interview... Also the 1 job I applied to yesterday also got back with me this morning to set up an interview... Talk about a turn around.. I went from feeling pitiful, ashamed, worthless to... at least 2 good jobs to choose between and both wanting interviews and possibly even saved my other job... of course I'll have to choose one of the three.. but now I have options..the future still has its light glowing..
  9. Yesterday I got the call not to come in today for work... I worked at this new job for 1 week and day 2 called in sick...why? I D F K... I made some poor choices the night before and became sick.. well not to mention my previous jobs or someone mentioned my attendance is an issue.. which is due to my depression.. I want to so bad and "shake it off" hahaha right... well I'm going to try something I've never done..and if anyone else has done this please let me know how it worked for you.. I waited 3 to 4 months for this job and I messed it up day 2... I'm gonna go gamble though.. kinda...I don't have anything to loose at this point. I'm meeting her today at 130 to pick my check up and I want to explain to her the reason for those absenses... I struggle with depression.. I see a therapist and am on medication... if it changes her mind about firing me...awesome...if not..well.. I'm exactly where I'm at before I walk into those doors. I believe other than my attendance, I'm a great worker...so we'll see... has coming out to your employers or future employers helped anyone keep or get a job?? If this doesn't work... idk back to the drawing board and mass applying.. I really want to put the drive mode on and start up my writing career.. I love writing and it's my passion.. but I just don't know really how to start it up...anyone writers? And tips??
  10. Thanks for sharing Carter, idk it definitely sucks.. I'm going in today to pick my check up.. I was so desperate for this job... I'm honestly considering something I've never done... trying to sit her down and tell her that I struggle with depression and that's why I have attendance issues.. maybe she'd reconsider? I can bring in documents that I'm in therapy and on medication and maybe even get my therapist to write a letter..idk... never told any employer about it, but truthfully I feel my attendance is my only issue.. I get numerous compliments on how I talk to patients, my selling abilities, my upbeat personality (in work only:P) but idk... have you ever tried anything like that Carter? I think I'm going to give it a shot... I mean I waited 3, 4 months for this job then after my first week that's it? Ugh. What do I have to loose though? If she's says no..well I'm already fired..if I can get her to change her mind, hey... I pray it works... I'll let ya know how it goes..
  11. Oh boy... what a day, what a day... S U C K E D. B A L L S. Well just started working this new job. My bf got a new job too and both were out where we wanted to move. Well... first week of me working day 2 I called in sick..idk what the hell I was thinking... I was truly sick but for poor choices the night before and yeah.. so got the call that I thought was going to tell me when to come in tomorrow. Nope. To not come in..left on good terms I guess but sucks. I've never been fired for one, and it was definitely my fault and one of my faults. I was counting on that job to help us get out of where we are. It's horribly frustrating and we're disrespected and flatly talked about within ear shot...had some more constant issues rise up again today. Just need to get the hell out. And need to get another job. I NEED to. We're going crazy here.. it's like constantly being on an adrenaline rush and your blood feeling it's boiling hot. .S U C K S.
  12. So, afraidtolive.. I have to say I love your dog!! Honestly I feel very connected to you situations. I love animals so I must talk about your dog...and mine now lol. I have a Siberia husky collie mix. He's 9 1/2 now.. he's a smart guy, he knows sentences like "drink some water" or " eat your food". He can be territorial around other people or animals especially when it comes to food or toya..even if they're not really his. He'll hear me and just look at me most times when I tell him to come inside, I usually have to stomp my foot in place and tell him to come here... works sometimes but also can take 10 to 20 times until I have to go and nudge him in the butt. Then other times I say it once and he's up and coming to me....***! I also love that yours has some wolf.. I've been wanting one mixed with wolf. I've met one before and she was beautiful. But honestly to go back and relate to what your post was about..dogs, animals can definitely be mentioned as a hobby. Mine is to me! Even though I also struggle with taking him on walks and brushing him. As for your interview, I've gone through now 8 interviews..they all were nerve racking to think about having to do. But after the first handful you get a method down and honestly...you said you like to research online.. I do too.. spend most my hours looking things up..and I've researched interviews and things to do to help the outcome. Also telling yourself..even if you maybe don't feel like it... YOU GOT THIS. Also you said you have some anxiety, I as well, and I've researched (for motivation and inspiration) benefits from anxiety. In social situations, I read you perform better in front of the actual audience than if you had nobody in front of you... I believe it. Your anxiety makes you more prepared in a sense. You should research some of that before your interview. It helped me just the other day.. I had to meet a new employee and meet with my new boss again... anxiety felt high but you just have to concentrate on what they're saying and be positive. You do have this interview. You have to trust that. It makes a difference inside... Also I'd suggest you try to write..and listen to some music that's emotional for you...example...paramore, seether, breaking benjamin..some of mine..hits the heart and you write more expression ally. I've always wanted to paint and draw but never worked out..always been told I'm a natural writer..but I believe it's because of music...it puts me in a zone..a mood... I feel depression and anxiety has made us more emotional and more connected with our inner selves..idk... I'd check it out though (: Looks like there's been a lot of helpful posts here for you. Hope mine helps too (:
  13. Today I went and met my new boss and another new employee. I was pretty nervous and sluggish about the idea at first.. I've been unemployed for about 2 months now and my depression has been haywire. I've recently started lexapro 10mg that I think will work for me. But today on my way to meet them at the office, I remembered an article about how anxiety really benefits us in these type of situation (not too much). I tried to think positive and tell myself "I got this"..and look trying not to calm my nerves too much. In the first 15 minutes I realized I was zoning too much and need to come back to my profession world. Basically needing to remember everything I haven't been doing for 2 months. It did come back and I started to relax a little and try to focus in facts about my work. It went well and possibly starting this Monday, just depends on circumstances at the business because I'm replacing a current worker. I'm very happy this is working out so far and this is a huge relief financially.
  14. Today I'm meeting my new employer for the second time since my first interview and also a new girl that's joining the team.. I've been waiting for this job for at least 3 months.. at first it wasn't bad because I was still working at a company I wasn't happy at..things became too much after about a month in a half. I quit. I felt horrible going to work there and my anxiety was through the roof..just wasn't what I expected when I originally took that job.. so I quit and I was expecting to start working at this new job sooner than this.. the new employer had to make sure she had correct documentation so the employee she was letting go couldn't claim unemployment benefits..well here we are 3 months later and I've been unemployed for half that time and I'm pretty nervous about it...at first I was ecstatic and jumping up and down so happy..but as time went on with this waiting game I'm feeling a bit anxious and less confident...
  15. Today started out like most days...I spend most of my day watching TV and trying to forget the things I should be doing...but something else also occurred to me today... I'm a night owl... I get up and get my energy around 7 to 9 to start doing things...it's like I feel like I need to get something done before the days completely done with..I think part of that is my anxiety.. which I guess I don't mind in this sense. My depression holds me down during the am and afternoon but once evening to night happens.. I want to make sure I get something done... that's not always the case.. but today I'm going to finish up some dishes I started on yesterday evening and get those done.. once that's done I just have about 2 loads of laundry...feels relieving... 2 loads..instead of 6... cooking dinner now for my bf and i.. then dishes.. feeling pretty good I guess. A bit tired still but pushing through it as best as I can. Music is definitely helping..
×
×
  • Create New...