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anchors

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  1. I 100% agree with this. One of the most beneficial things I’ve ever done for myself is change my way of thinking and how I treat myself. It’s so easy to be mean to yourself, especially when you’re depressed, but it only makes things worse. Be mindful. When you catch yourself thinking negatively, take a step back. Think about what you’re saying to yourself. Is there any validity behind your words? I used to beat myself up all the time over the most unimportant things. I’d think, “God, I’m so stupid.” I’ve learned to slow down and remind myself, “No, I’m not stupid. I made a mistake. It’s okay,” whenever a thought like that crosses my mind. This is something that is learned. It takes practice. But I promise it’s worth it. You are your own worst enemy until you learn to treat yourself with kindness. You’ve got to be in your own corner. Be a friend to yourself, not an enemy. You mentioned it’s easy for you to offer advice and comfort to someone else who is hurting but you can’t seem to do that for yourself. Yeah, I get this BIG TIME. An exercise I find helpful is this: Write a complaint letter to yourself. It sounds silly, but it works. Write down every negative thought you’re having at the moment and then a little bit later, read back what you wrote and reply to yourself. Act as if you didn’t write the letter, someone else did. What advice would you give to someone else struggling with your exact same problems? The only way to minimize these thoughts and behaviors is to work on them. When they surface, remind yourself that, yeah, they suck, but you can get through them. It seems to me that’s what you’re trying to do. I don’t know you but I’m proud of you for that!! Good luck
  2. Hey everyone, OP here! Update: I’m okay. I’m doing well. It gets easier. I still struggle but I take care of myself to the best of my ability and showering isn’t this tough anymore. Some days, sure, I’m tired and it sucks. But most days, I try to have fun with it. I blare music and sing and dance (when no one else is home.) It’s one of the better parts of my day. To anyone struggling with this, my best advice is to try not to make it any harder than it needs to be. Figure out what you need to do. Wash hair, body, face, etc. Break it down even FURTHER if you need to. Wet hair, shampoo hair, wash out shampoo, so on and so forth. Take as much time as you need. Try to make it fun if you can (like me with my music), so it doesn’t feel like such a chore. And know that you’ll feel better afterward, even if it’s only a little bit. A little bit’s better than nothing when you’re depressed. Hygiene can be tough. It’s gonna suck for awhile, but do it anyway. One step at a time. I really believe we can all learn to take better care of ourselves. It’ll just take some time! Good luck
  3. Life is getting to be too much for me. I really don't know what to do at this point. I'm so exhausted, my body constantly has this dull ache, and I'm just bored of everything. Everything seems so pointless. I've felt this horrible before, and I feel sad about that because my medication never helps me. I mean, it's supposed to help me, so why doesn't it? I always eventually end up right back here. I hate waking up. I don't do much in the day either. I'm 17 so I live at home with my family. I don't really have any responsibilities besides keeping myself clean and eating. But even that is hard for me. I absolutely dread doing these things. But whatever, I do them anyway. I'm lying in bed right now after crying for over an hour. I still want to cry and I'm not sure why. I can't keep myself from crying over everything. I don't even want to go to sleep anymore because it just brings tomorrow faster. Tomorrow will eventually come, but this logic doesn't seem to matter to me. I guess I'm just looking for someone to let me know I'm not alone and that things do matter, because I'm not sure they really do. I don't know what to think anymore. I love my family and I have good times, but I'm so tired of living this life.
  4. Someone knows how I feel!!!! I've felt exactly like this for the longest time. It's exhausting. I want to get in shape and become healthier so I exercise and eat my veggies...for like two days. I want to take control of my own happiness so I go to therapy and think positively...for like a week. I've been stuck in this pattern for as long as I can remember and the only thing I've found that helps is making sure I set goals that I can actually accomplish. It's like setting your alarm for 6am every morning when you have no doubt that you'll hit the snooze button and sleep until 6:15. It's stupid, because you know you won't get up at 6 but you keep setting yourself up for failure anyway. Set simple goals that you know you can achieve. Even if you think, 'Well I know I can do this, so why not set a higher goal?' don't set a higher goal. For example, instead of setting a goal to take a walk around the block every morning, set a goal to walk as far as you can, and if you can go further, do it. If not, that's okay, too. I've found that when we feel the way we do, it's nearly impossible to not set unrealistic goals for ourselves because we feel like we should be able to push ourselves just like anyone else, but sometimes all we can do is what we can do and nothing more. This doesn't mean you should never do anything at all because you don't feel like it, there's a difference between not feeling like doing something and not being capable of doing it. Learn the difference. By setting realistic goals for yourself instead of setting a goal you know you won't accomplish, you'll be getting rid of that yucky feeling of disappointment you got when you couldn't reach a goal AND you'll accomplish even more, if you think about it. Good luck out there. You got this
  5. Hi there! I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time. Medication can work really well for some people and others not so much. Please don't get the idea that these medications are the worst thing in the world, one of them could really help you! The choice is totally up to you of whether or not you stick it out for a while. I know it's nerve wracking, waiting to notice differences, but just try to go about your life if you choose to keep with it. Some meds take longer than others to show effects. Make sure you go over all options and think of what will be best for YOU. I wish you all the luck in the world. Hang in there!
  6. Lately I've been more exhausted than usual. I'm not leaving my bed very often and I feel too tired to do anything at all. Right now I feel okay mentally, (as okay as a depressed person could feel, I guess) but physically, I'm so drained I swear I could sleep for the rest of my life. This has happened a few times before. I'll finally not feel unbearably sad, I'll feel just good enough to get dressed and all that jazz, and then this huge wave of exhaustion hits me and it's like I fell down a flight of stairs and broke every bone in my body. I know finding motivation is a big part of overcoming this, but it's so hard when I'm this tired. My family recently bought a pool, so I've been hanging out outside a lot more in the sun which has helped with feeling a little bit better and keeping me busy during the day. (Also I'm getting a nice tan ) But the exhaustion and soreness is still there. Is there anything I can do to find motivation despite how exhausted I am? I'm so tired Thank you in advance to anyone who replies/comments! ~M
  7. Thank you to everyone who replied to this post!! Finding motivation is still difficult but I've been able to wash my hair more frequently and push myself to shower instead of bathe more often. Thanks for such good advice
  8. I'm sorry you're going through a rough time right now, and I applaude your will power over the years, that's seriously incredible. It makes me believe you can push through almost anything. I know it's tough and I know it seems impossible some days, but you have to find motivation. For me right now in my own life, I feel ridiculous even typing this, I can't find the motivation myself. But I have found it before. I've been able to pick myself up and try another day, so I know for a fact I can do it again. You can do it, too. The source of your motivation doesn't really matter, just find it. Find it in your family, maybe in one of those tv shows you're watching, in a book, or even within yourself. I think life has a way of sorting things out. Focus on yourself, focus on everything that makes you want to keep going. I know you'll find that motivation. I wish you all the luck in the world.
  9. Waiting on a brand new day. (This is a lyric from a song by one of my favorite bands, Kodaline.)
  10. I understand this. I'm only 17 and I've been on antidepressants since around the time I started high school. I've been on so many medications that when my psychiatrist recommends a new medication, he doesn't even take the time to scroll through all of my previous ones on the computer, he just asks. And I never remember, obviously, because there's been so many. Anyway, I guess this is my attempt at letting you know you're not the only one. I'm sorry you've been suffering for so long and I really hope things will get better with time. Super cliché, super cheesy, but try to stay optimistic. It's the most difficult thing to do in the world sometimes, but you have to be brave. Everything does sort of suck, but I know you can make it. Good luck!
  11. Hi there, I'm new and created this account to maybe find some people who (hopefully) feel the same way. So anyway, I'm depressed, obviously. It's bad this time around. I'll go through stages where things aren't as bad as usual (they last about two days) but I always end up right where I started, which is in bed, wrapped in a blanket, staring at the ceiling and feeling sorry for myself. At this point my motivation has completely vanished, I can hardly pick myself to go to the bathroom. I think this is the part of depression I loathe the most, the lack of motivation and the constant exhaustion. One of the hardest things for me to do is keep up my hygiene. I don't think it's as bad as it could be, but it's still frustrating. I have a love/hate relationship with showering. Even though I know that once I wash my hair and body I'll feel at least a little bit better, when I look at the task as a whole, it feels like climbing Mount Everest. It's unusual for me to go a day without at least washing my body because my mom pesters me until I do it, which I'm actually happy about otherwise it'd never get done. So I take baths at night most of the time. It takes me awhile because I mostly just feel like lying there without doing anything, but I do it anyway. Baths never make me feel as clean as showers do, though. I try (emphasis on 'try') to wash my hair every 2-3 days, but it pretty much never happens. I'm on day 5 now without washing my hair and I feel disgusting. I feel dirty and lazy and most of all I feel like a failure. I know this isn't true because I AM trying, I'm not just giving up, but why is it so hard for me to shower? I feel like it's such an easy thing to do, so why can't I do it? When I do muster up the energy to get in the shower, I start to feel dizzy about three minutes in. I always make sure I'm not locking my knees, trust me, but I feel dizzy anyway. My showers usually last like 20 minutes, not because I mess around and just stand in there but because it just takes me that long. (How do people take five-minute showers?) I don't take boiling hot showers either because they don't make me feel clean at all. Sometimes I'll even sit down while I wash my hair because I get too tired. Anyway, it just wears me down so much I feel like it's not even worth it. I always end up feeling like I'm going to puke afterwards. Not a good feeling at all. So I'm just sitting here trying to find the strength to pick myself and do it, but I can't. Does anyone have any suggestions for making it easier? Thank you, ~M
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