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PracticalGrit617

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  1. Hello Joanna, It's good to hear that you are surrounded by support. Have you considered speaking with your mother? I don't yet have children, so I can't really speak to how your body has changed. It may take time for you adjust. Don't be too hard on yourself. I would encourage you to reach out to women you know who have had children and enjoy being parents. May I ask, why are you a single parent if the baby's father is supportive? You aren't alone. I encourage you to seek out a counselor who can help the both of you together on this journey. You may need to learn what your roles in the child's life will be. I grew up without a proper dad. It was tough. If he's willing to be a part of your child's life, that's a great opportunity! I don't doubt that it'll take time for him to adjust as well. Please don't be afraid to continue building a relationship with him through this new stage in both your lives. And please, don't allow yourself to be isolated, even in your thoughts, share them with those you trust. Don't be afraid or embarrassed to ask questions or voice concerns. You're blessed to have the support of two families, as is your child. Embrace them. ((hugs))
  2. Hello Friend! Thanks for posting. Know that you're not alone! Sometimes dealing with anxiety can feel like rowing a boat in the middle of the ocean during a storm. It may seem at times like you're about to capsize. No matter what happens, I encourage you to stay connected to community and don't lose hope! We're here for you!
  3. Hello Nic! I used to be where you are. It DOES get better, and yes, sometimes it can feel like things are getting worse first. I've learned that no one likes change and sometimes it hurts. You know exactly where you're at, and that's great. I strongly encourage you to seek out your purpose. It helped me. It'll feel like a bit of a roller coaster, there'll be discomfort due to change and transition...but the results are AMAZING! I was depressed my whole life, having been sexually, verbally, physically and emotionally abused since childhood. Basically, there was a lot that had to be overcome. I'm still working on some stuff, like knowing who I really am. For so long, I believed the lies of what people spoke about me. Even recently, I had been called a "b" by my own mother. I rejected it, but for all I tried to protect myself, it still cut. Weeks later, I found myself under pressure at work, and I discovered that I was subconsciously labeling myself as one. Identity, and the lack thereof, created in me a numbness and lack of motivation. I, too, felt like it had become a comfort zone, because like you, I didn't know anything else. Know this, you're not alone, there is hope for your future, and you will overcome. (Hug)
  4. Depression is difficult to deal with, but not impossible. I suffered from it most of my life. Breaking the cycle requires us to make choices we don't want to make, and to take action we just don't feel like taking. I remember, at the deepest, darkest part of the pit, crying out that I felt alone. The person who I loved most in this world had died. I knew no one else on this earth could love and encourage me like he did. Not even my own mother and I didn't have a dad. In college, I tried to **** myself, because I was tired of dealing with everyone else's problems and no one taking notice of my problems, let alone taking notice of me. I resented the people I dormed with and having reached a breaking point, I tried to take my life. I did it to spite everyone I knew. What I didn't know, is that the people who I though were indifferent, were the one's who actually saved my life. In that moment, my perspective was forever changed. I learned, throughout the years, that I focused only on MY needs, my wants and my desires. The truth is, I was the one who was indifferent to the needs of others, because my motives and intentions were unconsciously selfish. I didn't love people for who they were, I loved them for who I wanted them to be. And when they disappointed me, when they fell short of my expectations...I would fall hard and fast into deeper and darker depression, my constant companion being despair. Despair is literally defined as the complete loss or absence of hope. Part of the solution is hope, hope despite what you see or feel. Hope that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and through this journey you're on, the light is getting closer. You are loved, and you are not alone. I will pray you through this darkness. Please keep us updated as to how you are doing. And never, never give up!
  5. HI Mark! I was thinking about what you said regarding your small attack, and how it baffled you since your usual trigger didn't apply. I've learned from my experiences with anxiety that our bodies have to adjust to not being under constant attack. That it is somewhat residual. Like how someone who is used to getting hit flinches when someone raises their hand or makes a sudden move. We have to learn how to turn off survival mode and embrace a new normal. Have you seen a pdoc before?
  6. Focus on the present, moment by moment. You may be the one chosen to be the example of love in your family. I was. It was difficult, but not impossible. And the rewards are amazing! We're here for you, so don't give up!
  7. Jalen, You're not alone. School is stressful and family doesn't always counsel us the way they should. I once had an uncle tell me that if I moved for school that I would fail. You sound like you're tenderhearted. I am too. Someone once told me something I'd like to share with you: diamonds are made over time, at high temperatures and under extreme pressure. You are valuable, and I have no doubt that the challenges you are facing now will mold and shape your character to become a diamond. It helps to take each day step by step. You're in the middle of a journey on learning who are and what you're made of. I have no doubt that you will impact the world as a source of inspiration to others! Don't give up. Don't worry about your future, it can be overwhelming, again, take every day as it comes.
  8. BlackEyedDog, ((BearHug)) We love you. Many of us have been there too. You have a new perspective now. Embrace it!
  9. Hello Mark, I'm glad to hear you are doing better today! During our most difficult moments it helps to hold onto a word, phrase or promise that reminds us that we have victory. I've had a few depending on what I was going through. The first was "I'm not alone." Honestly, it was God who spoke to me. I had just lost the person I loved most in a motorcycle accident. The one I'm holding onto now, while being unemployed, is "He is faithful." It doesn't mean the tears don't flow. It doesn't mean that I'm not going to hurt, or be uncomfortable. It means that He will see me through. I'm so proud of you for reaching out! Don't give up. Keep fighting. You WILL see results. You already have. Change takes time and happens in layers. Take each day step by step, and CELEBRATE the VICTORIES!
  10. Have you considered marriage counseling? Healing happens in layers: take it day by day, step by step. It's easy to feel overwhelmed when everyone seems pitted against you. But your heavenly Father has your back! He'll guide you through the trenches of this warfare if you'll just trust His leading. It's never healthy to stay in an abusive situation. You're in survival mode. Create a plan. Research and connect with a church who offers programs. You never know, someone may have a place for you to stay with your children. Some may offer financial or educational assistance. It's possible that you may be called to be the change, which may require forgiveness and loving your enemies. Families don't always function the way they should. Some people aren't comfortable with children who function differently because they don't know how to handle the unknown. For them this may be new territory. Be the bridge that crosses the gap. Teach them how to build a relationship with your daughter. Understand that change doesn't happen overnight. What is common sense to you isn't to others. Be patient, persevere, walk in love. You'll actually be learning how to resist relational battles.
  11. Loneliness grows deeper the more you dwell on it. Stop focusing on what you don't have and pay attention to what you do have. You have parents who love you. You have a roof over your head. And you have time to revamp your resume. What are your passions and hobbies? Start there. If you want companionship, volunteer at an animal shelter, a soup kitchen, or visit an elderly neighbor. Start living for others and you'll quickly discover that you don't need a girlfriend to fill the the hole in your heart. A relationship isn't what you think it is. It's hard work. It takes commitment, selflessness and sacrifice. It sounds like you're craving the affection that comes with the relationship. Try building friendships first and work on yourself in the meantime. Restrict what you watch and what you listen to so that you're not adding fuel to the fire. When you witness respectful PDA, instead of hating your life because you feel alone, start thanking God that you were made for the right girl. Start asking God to show you how to be the man your future girlfriend, your future wife needs you to be. Check the way you talk, the way you dress the way you carry yourself. Walk with confidence, revive chivalry and be patient knowing that God is faithful. He will reveal the right girl and the right career at the right place and at the right time.
  12. You have great insight into the root causes. You can also consider your past actions and their effects. For example, think back on times when lack of grooming led to less productivity, or led to you not wanting to leave the house, etc. And consider how that has impacted other areas of your life: physically, socially, professionally, etc. But don't get stuck in your head about the solution! You've answered your own question in that you are able. Now it's time to act! It's also time to renew your mind! Fill your heart with joy! Have hope and confidence that God is going to see you through this situation, and the next, and the next. You know, I love turning on the radio and listening to my favorite stations whether I'm at work, in the car, or at home cleaning. The music is upbeat and the talk is encouraging. And when you start to feel heavy, cast your cares on the Lord. He will renew your strength!
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