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GG333

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About GG333

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    Female
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    Denver, CO

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  1. Alfa- the Remeron worked really well for depression and anxiety and did help with sleep but almost too much so...felt like I could never wake up. Also, I had never gained weight on an AD but on this stuff I gained 10 lbs in 12 days so I got off of it, which really sucks b/c it did help but the weight gain itself was causing anxiety. Everything has a trade off I guess. It did really increase my appetite but not enough to account for that amount of weight gain so quickly. But as far as sleep it does totally knock u out but makes it really hard to wake up and get going the next day. 21- I'm so sorry you're going this right now. I just joined this website and haven't really gotten much of a response from anyone regarding my own issues/questions. It's helpful to have a good support system but when u don't everythung just seems so much harder. Why are you getting off the Zyprexa can I ask? Is it just not working? I've been through the ringer with medications myself and it's beyond frustrating I know. Are you diagnosed bipolar or is it treatment resistant depression? I'm 31 and this is definitely the worst it has been for me so I'm optimistic that you being so young that eventually you'll find something that does work for you or maybe you'll get to a place where you feel you don't need medication again at all. It sounds like you've been through a lot and things will get better & I hope you find people that you can surround yourself with that you can feel comfortable and be open with. I understand isolating yourself when you feel like this and I do the same thing. I just feel like people don't really understand mental health issues unless they've lived it or have someone close that has. It really sucks b/c I feel like people think it's self inflicted or something which is ridiculous. I also have serious depression, anxiety/panic attacks, ADD, PTSD, (mostly from losing my little brother to suicide 3 years ago), abandonment issues as the guy I was with for several years was non-supportive when that happened...feel like I'll never trust anyone again. Recently my doc said she thinks I'm bipolar II b/c of my adverse response and sometimes lack thereof to medications. My depression was always there I think but really got bad at 24, was on effexor for a few years, then Prozac, Remeron, wellbutrin and now Latuda for 2 weeks...we'll see how that goes (trazadone for sleep which I hated, Xanax which gave my panic attacks when I stopped taking it, and now taking gabapentin and klonopin to help sleep, deal with the anxiety). Ugh. i know what you're saying about feeling too introspective or in your own head too much but I think that comes with people who have to become in touch with their emotions, especially after all the stuff you've been through. I know how hard it is to get out of your head...that's where I live! I also have this belief that people (us) with these issues are highly creative and intelligent people that tend to be harder on ourselves than we need to be and are very sensitive and intuitive to other people and their actions and those issues manifest as serious mental health issues/illness. i hope your withdrawal symptoms go away soon and you start to feel better. Also, I think your interest in alternative drugs that could help people is really cool. I live in Denver so now that's becoming more of the norm with garden shrub being legal now;). I know it really helped me for a long time. It sucks b/c I feel like I'm wired differently now and it usually just makes me anxious now but I think part of that is b/c it's so potent now. Maybe you need to get out of NYC and come to CO!;) ok im rambling...just wanted you to know that SOMEONE here is listening and I hope you start feeling better. Also, if I may ask what do u take for ADHD and sleep? Do they help? i went to 6 years of college and now I can barely get through an article in the newspaper. I have the attention span of a goldfish! It's so frustrating b/c I can't finish anything like I used to (this started with my brothers death) and I've pretty much been stagnant, not working for 3 years b/c I literally can't focus on anything for more than a few minutes at a time. Anyway, again I hope that you get to feeling better. U hang in the
  2. I still don't know if I should chime in on this one but I think every feeling u have would be seen as a very attractive quality for someone of the opposite sex. My input on this is maybe don't focus so much in the "who" or the "when". Honestly I don't know one person who has ended up with the same person they lost their virginity to. Yes it's a big deal but only because it's gonna be a new experience. Most significant new experiences are a big deal. And yes you only lose "it" once but that doesn't mean you'll most likely regret it if it doesn't happen with "her". "She" may not come around for awhile or you could meet her tomorrow u never know. Omg my quotation use is getting out of hand. Apologies. Anyway...there is nothing wrong with being a virgin and I think you'd be surprised that a lot of women would be totally accepting of that. It just shows you're not some shallow dude that's just trying to get laid and you actually have respect for women. Any decent female should see that as an inherently positive quality and don't waste your time with the ones that don't. i know with depression it makes it hard but I will say that confidence goes a long way and you have every reason to be confident
  3. Thank you:). I'm so sorry for your losses as well
  4. Up sh**'s creek without a paddle
  5. Hi thanks for your response. I actually had to stop taking it yesterday b/c I can't handle the panic attacks. Was supposed to be taken with food before bedtime & I was doing that but within an hour I would just feel awful. Even if I tried to go to bed after I took it I would wake up in the throes of a full blown panic attack. It's a newer medication approved for bipolar disorder but it was prescribed off label to me for depression & doc thinks I may have bipolar II but I'm not sure about that. I was hopeful as I read a lot of good things about it and I don't respond to antidepressants but the anxiety it gave me was too much to handle. Back to the drawing board....
  6. My life stopped 3 years ago on June 12, 2013 when I lost my little brother (age 26) to suicide caused by severe, life long depression. We were very close and three years later I'm still very stuck. I feel like I can't move forward and it never gets any easier. I've literally accomplished nothing in this time and still continue to isolate myself. Just wondering who out there has been through this and if there's anything that has helped them move forward. Also just wanting to feel like I'm not alone in this awful experience.
  7. lumessence.... not trying to be insensitive. F*** I know what you're saying u have no idea. Just trying to say don't depend on others for fulfillment b/c u have that ability within. I know you do. Yes, human interaction and connection is important but one thing I've realized through all this crap is that you can't be happy with anyone else until you're happy with yourself that's what I'm saying. If i could talk to my 20 year old self and say that it would've saved me years of pain and disappointment. i know that came off as tright but it wasn't meant to be. I've wasted so much time concerned with what others think and it only hurt me in the long run. There's probably nothing I can say to make you feel better but you are the only one that has that capability to help you and u can do this.
  8. Therein lies your problem. You're not thinking about yourself at all. Your need for the approval & association of others is obviously more important than your approval of yourself. Good luck to you
  9. I will say this...do not depend on others as it will lead to disappointment. Do not look at yourself through other eyes. It is a waste of your time. there's something called the 18-40-60 rule... At 18, all you care about is how people see you/judge you. At 40, you realize you don't care about what people think. At 60, you realize no one cared about anything but themselves in the first place. I'm almost 32 but this "rule" is more clear to me by the day. My brother took his life 3 years ago this Sunday. Since then, my life has stopped. But only b/c I feel like I didn't have a choice in the matter. He felt that feeling that I have felt many times since then that nothing matters; I don't matter. But it's a total fallacy. I experience on a daily basis the consequences of his decision, whether he made it on a conscious level or not. It changed everything about my life and my parents, and not in a good way. yes, there are things to be learn by such a tragic loss but your family should not have to go through that and neither should you. Learn or try to "see" yourself through your own eyes. God knows I'm still learning how to do this. My self view was always seeing myself through whatever relationship I was in and I regret that more than anything. You don't need the validation of others to determine your own self worth. And please see the importance and necessity of your life. You are here and you are here for a reason. Make life your Biotch as it should be. It's your life. Your rules. You got this.
  10. Thanks so much anyway:). Really appreciate it
  11. Ignis, thanks for your reply. I don't feel I'm on a medication just to be on a medication. If I didn't think I needed medication to be a functional human being that would be ideal. And I haven't always been on meds nor do I plan to stay on them indefinitely. I've been on an array of antidepressants over the years with little success. I can't take SSRIs as I have a highly adverse reaction to them as well as atypical AD's. Based on my history of meds, symptoms, genetic testing, etc...my doc thinks I'm most likely Bipolar II and after all the research I've done this leads me to think this is probably the most logical dx I've ever gotten. As I mentioned, I have noticed an improvement in depression symptoms that I've never experienced on an AD. The anxiety however.... But the panic feeling after taking Latuda makes me wonder if it's worth it & if this feeling would pass. You may be right that the dosage was increased too quickly but I was taking 40 mg for about 10 days before I experienced any of the akasthisia type symptoms after taking it. Went back down to 20 mg for 2 days and was back to the level of depression I was feeling pre-Latuda. So, now I'm back to taking clonezepam & gabapentin before I take the 40 mg dose & just pray after I take the Latuda that I won't get that feeling. Have you experienced any anxiety-related effects since starting it? Specifically after you take it?
  12. I posted something similar to this last week but didn't get much input so I'm trying again. i started Latuda 2 1/2 weeks ago. Was on 20 mg for 4 days & been on 40 mg since. About a week ago within an hour of taking it I've experienced a horrible, panicky feeling like I can't breathe. I'm sure it could be described as akasthisia...no uncontrollable muscle movements but just an inner unbearable restlessness and dread that is nearly impossible to describe it's so horrible. Doc prescribed me propranolol to help alleviate this and said it's a transient symptom that will go away. It doesn't seem to help much and the nights that I've taken it I literally cannot go to sleep. I've been taking clonezepam and gabapentin before I take the Latuda at bedtime & helps a little but I hate having to add even more meds to the mix. My question is: has anyone experienced this and does it go away over time? And what have you tried that helps prevent or alleviate this? its so awful I don't know if I can continue taking the medication even though I think it has helped with the depression a little at this point. Any input is greatly appreciated!
  13. Ok well I guess I'll just keep putting questions out there yet I get no responses. Surely I'm not the only one wondering about these things. Am I not doing this right?? Anyways....curious about people's experiences with Latuda. Specifically related to weight gain, akasthisia. Did u gain weight on it and/or experience akasthisia while taking it? Any input would be appreciated. Thanks
  14. Ok well I guess I'll just keep putting questions out there yet I get no responses. Surely I'm not the only one wondering about these things. Am I not doing this right??

    Anyways....curious about people's experiences with Latuda. Specifically related to weight gain, akasthisia. Did u gain weight on it and/or experience akasthisia while taking it?

    Any input would be appreciated. Thanks 

  15. 21- I'm so sorry you're going this right now. I just joined this website and haven't really gotten much of a response from anyone regarding my own issues/questions. It's helpful to have a good support system but when u don't everythung just seems so much harder. Why are you getting off the Zyprexa can I ask? Is it just not working? I've been through the ringer with medications myself and it's beyond frustrating I know. Are you diagnosed bipolar or is it treatment resistant depression? I'm 31 and this is definitely the worst it has been for me so I'm optimistic that you being so young that eventually you'll find something that does work for you or maybe you'll get to a place where you feel you don't need medication again at all. It sounds like you've been through a lot and things will get better & I hope you find people that you can surround yourself with that you can feel comfortable and be open with. I understand isolating yourself when you feel like this and I do the same thing. I just feel like people don't really understand mental health issues unless they've lived it or have someone close that has. It really sucks b/c I feel like people think it's self inflicted or something which is ridiculous. I also have serious depression, anxiety/panic attacks, ADD, PTSD, (mostly from losing my little brother to suicide 3 years ago), abandonment issues as the guy I was with for several years was non-supportive when that happened...feel like I'll never trust anyone again. Recently my doc said she thinks I'm bipolar II b/c of my adverse response and sometimes lack thereof to medications. My depression was always there I think but really got bad at 24, was on effexor for a few years, then Prozac, Remeron, wellbutrin and now Latuda for 2 weeks...we'll see how that goes (trazadone for sleep which I hated, Xanax which gave my panic attacks when I stopped taking it, and now taking gabapentin and klonopin to help sleep, deal with the anxiety). Ugh. i know what you're saying about feeling too introspective or in your own head too much but I think that comes with people who have to become in touch with their emotions, especially after all the stuff you've been through. I know how hard it is to get out of your head...that's where I live! I also have this belief that people (us) with these issues are highly creative and intelligent people that tend to be harder on ourselves than we need to be and are very sensitive and intuitive to other people and their actions and those issues manifest as serious mental health issues/illness. i hope your withdrawal symptoms go away soon and you start to feel better. Also, I think your interest in alternative drugs that could help people is really cool. I live in Denver so now that's becoming more of the norm with garden shrub being legal now;). I know it really helped me for a long time. It sucks b/c I feel like I'm wired differently now and it usually just makes me anxious now but I think part of that is b/c it's so potent now. Maybe you need to get out of NYC and come to CO!;) ok im rambling...just wanted you to know that SOMEONE here is listening and I hope you start feeling better. Also, if I may ask what do u take for ADHD and sleep? Do they help? i went to 6 years of college and now I can barely get through an article in the newspaper. I have the attention span of a goldfish! It's so frustrating b/c I can't finish anything like I used to (this started with my brothers death) and I've pretty much been stagnant, not working for 3 years b/c I literally can't focus on anything for more than a few minutes at a time. Anyway, again I hope that you get to feeling better. U hang in there
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