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Demonpenz

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  1. Like
    Demonpenz got a reaction from duck in The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)   
    Yeah I have been sober from alcohol for 6 years, but started pills and I have been clean for those for a year. So I am used to the voice trying to get me to the drink. The pill voice is cunning baffling and powerful. There are key buzzwards. "This will be different this time" "No one will find out" "I deserve to feel better' If any of those phrases come to mind I need to ask God to remove those thoughts. Or call someone. Or at-least just recognize that is bad.
  2. Like
    Demonpenz got a reaction from duck in The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)   
    I felt like crap for a couple days. When I feel bad my brain starts to pick out things in my memory, in my life, or in my future that backs up the notion that I suck and that I am a bad person. This leads me to drink cough syrup to get high to try to feel better. I talked to my sponsor and he told me that my brain is just doing these things because I am depressed. Just accept depression as neither good or bad. It just is. Then realize that you aren't a bad person, you are just sick. The feelings are not facts.
  3. Like
    Demonpenz got a reaction from salparadise6132 in The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)   
    Yeah I have been sober from alcohol for 6 years, but started pills and I have been clean for those for a year. So I am used to the voice trying to get me to the drink. The pill voice is cunning baffling and powerful. There are key buzzwards. "This will be different this time" "No one will find out" "I deserve to feel better' If any of those phrases come to mind I need to ask God to remove those thoughts. Or call someone. Or at-least just recognize that is bad.
  4. Like
    Demonpenz got a reaction from salparadise6132 in The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)   
    I felt like crap for a couple days. When I feel bad my brain starts to pick out things in my memory, in my life, or in my future that backs up the notion that I suck and that I am a bad person. This leads me to drink cough syrup to get high to try to feel better. I talked to my sponsor and he told me that my brain is just doing these things because I am depressed. Just accept depression as neither good or bad. It just is. Then realize that you aren't a bad person, you are just sick. The feelings are not facts.
  5. Like
    Demonpenz got a reaction from CoolCat7 in The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)   
    Yeah I have been sober from alcohol for 6 years, but started pills and I have been clean for those for a year. So I am used to the voice trying to get me to the drink. The pill voice is cunning baffling and powerful. There are key buzzwards. "This will be different this time" "No one will find out" "I deserve to feel better' If any of those phrases come to mind I need to ask God to remove those thoughts. Or call someone. Or at-least just recognize that is bad.
  6. Like
    Demonpenz got a reaction from CoolCat7 in The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)   
    I felt like crap for a couple days. When I feel bad my brain starts to pick out things in my memory, in my life, or in my future that backs up the notion that I suck and that I am a bad person. This leads me to drink cough syrup to get high to try to feel better. I talked to my sponsor and he told me that my brain is just doing these things because I am depressed. Just accept depression as neither good or bad. It just is. Then realize that you aren't a bad person, you are just sick. The feelings are not facts.
  7. Like
    Demonpenz got a reaction from LoneSquirrel in The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)   
    Yeah I have been sober from alcohol for 6 years, but started pills and I have been clean for those for a year. So I am used to the voice trying to get me to the drink. The pill voice is cunning baffling and powerful. There are key buzzwards. "This will be different this time" "No one will find out" "I deserve to feel better' If any of those phrases come to mind I need to ask God to remove those thoughts. Or call someone. Or at-least just recognize that is bad.
  8. Like
    Demonpenz got a reaction from LoneSquirrel in The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)   
    I felt like crap for a couple days. When I feel bad my brain starts to pick out things in my memory, in my life, or in my future that backs up the notion that I suck and that I am a bad person. This leads me to drink cough syrup to get high to try to feel better. I talked to my sponsor and he told me that my brain is just doing these things because I am depressed. Just accept depression as neither good or bad. It just is. Then realize that you aren't a bad person, you are just sick. The feelings are not facts.
  9. Like
    Demonpenz got a reaction from carter_burn1 in The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)   
    I felt like crap for a couple days. When I feel bad my brain starts to pick out things in my memory, in my life, or in my future that backs up the notion that I suck and that I am a bad person. This leads me to drink cough syrup to get high to try to feel better. I talked to my sponsor and he told me that my brain is just doing these things because I am depressed. Just accept depression as neither good or bad. It just is. Then realize that you aren't a bad person, you are just sick. The feelings are not facts.
  10. Like
    Demonpenz got a reaction from Sarkon in The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)   
    The phrase that actually moves me is "I will never give up" or "Never give up" So often there are phrases and sayings that don't do anything to my emotions. Knowing that I can fight, claw, persevere, keep going, grow,  and give back.  That moves me. You have to find ways to get yourself inspired or you won't want to get up out of bed early or stay up late to help others. 
  11. Like
    Demonpenz got a reaction from gs22 in The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)   
    The phrase that actually moves me is "I will never give up" or "Never give up" So often there are phrases and sayings that don't do anything to my emotions. Knowing that I can fight, claw, persevere, keep going, grow,  and give back.  That moves me. You have to find ways to get yourself inspired or you won't want to get up out of bed early or stay up late to help others. 
  12. Like
    Demonpenz got a reaction from gs22 in The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)   
    I felt bad today. called my sponsor. Not going to self medicate today.
  13. Like
    Demonpenz got a reaction from CoolCat7 in The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)   
    I didn't feel great today. I know that being passionate, taking massive action, being happy, taking your pills. These are all skills that you can work at. I know there is physical aspects. I lift weights and I played football. I know perfect practice makes perfect. If I keep thinking good and keep being focused on the good stuff if I am passionate I can grow my ability to think and feel good. 
  14. Like
    Demonpenz got a reaction from CoolCat7 in The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)   
    I felt bad today. called my sponsor. Not going to self medicate today.
  15. Like
    Demonpenz got a reaction from CoolCat7 in The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)   
    The phrase that actually moves me is "I will never give up" or "Never give up" So often there are phrases and sayings that don't do anything to my emotions. Knowing that I can fight, claw, persevere, keep going, grow,  and give back.  That moves me. You have to find ways to get yourself inspired or you won't want to get up out of bed early or stay up late to help others. 
  16. Like
    Demonpenz got a reaction from RiverLight in The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)   
    The phrase that actually moves me is "I will never give up" or "Never give up" So often there are phrases and sayings that don't do anything to my emotions. Knowing that I can fight, claw, persevere, keep going, grow,  and give back.  That moves me. You have to find ways to get yourself inspired or you won't want to get up out of bed early or stay up late to help others. 
  17. Like
    Demonpenz got a reaction from salparadise6132 in The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)   
    The phrase that actually moves me is "I will never give up" or "Never give up" So often there are phrases and sayings that don't do anything to my emotions. Knowing that I can fight, claw, persevere, keep going, grow,  and give back.  That moves me. You have to find ways to get yourself inspired or you won't want to get up out of bed early or stay up late to help others. 
  18. Like
    Demonpenz got a reaction from SpiralingMind in The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)   
    I felt bad today. called my sponsor. Not going to self medicate today.
  19. Like
    Demonpenz got a reaction from SpiralingMind in The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)   
    I didn't feel great today. I know that being passionate, taking massive action, being happy, taking your pills. These are all skills that you can work at. I know there is physical aspects. I lift weights and I played football. I know perfect practice makes perfect. If I keep thinking good and keep being focused on the good stuff if I am passionate I can grow my ability to think and feel good. 
  20. Like
    Demonpenz got a reaction from Natasha1 in The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)   
    I have felt pretty good today. When I am around a person that is not my sponsor or a person that is not related to my depression I try my best to "ACT BETTER THAN I FEEL" I try to smile and fake it until I make it. I try to be silly by myself. Make farting noise with my mouth, sing silly songs, if I feel like doing some silly just do it. I have been working hard at my work. I am about to get fired though haha. I have been working hard. I opened up a C.D. on Ally. I really want to go in deep with investing and the psychological tools to get yourself to forgo the comfort today for success for tomorrow.
  21. Like
    Demonpenz got a reaction from CoolCat7 in The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)   
    I feel pretty good today.  I am on probation at work so each day may be my last. I vow to not drink alcohol today or do any drugs. I am doing a 12 step program of recovery to stay sober. I vow to always try the next step. I ask myself "What is it going to take for me to get healthier" and I try to execute that thing. I have had a horrible two years of depression. Crying spells for a 35 old man isn't very fun. I felt so bad I laid on the floor for days. I downloaded mood tools for my phone, I bought books, I wrote I prayed. Anything that it took to keep me going forward. What helped me the most is having faith, getting my hopes up that the next day would feel better. I know getting your hopes up can get them smashed but I always tried to get my hopes up that the next day I would make progress out of the depression
  22. Like
    Demonpenz got a reaction from LoneSquirrel in The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)   
    I feel pretty good today.  I am on probation at work so each day may be my last. I vow to not drink alcohol today or do any drugs. I am doing a 12 step program of recovery to stay sober. I vow to always try the next step. I ask myself "What is it going to take for me to get healthier" and I try to execute that thing. I have had a horrible two years of depression. Crying spells for a 35 old man isn't very fun. I felt so bad I laid on the floor for days. I downloaded mood tools for my phone, I bought books, I wrote I prayed. Anything that it took to keep me going forward. What helped me the most is having faith, getting my hopes up that the next day would feel better. I know getting your hopes up can get them smashed but I always tried to get my hopes up that the next day I would make progress out of the depression
  23. Like
    Demonpenz got a reaction from salparadise6132 in The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)   
    I feel pretty good today.  I am on probation at work so each day may be my last. I vow to not drink alcohol today or do any drugs. I am doing a 12 step program of recovery to stay sober. I vow to always try the next step. I ask myself "What is it going to take for me to get healthier" and I try to execute that thing. I have had a horrible two years of depression. Crying spells for a 35 old man isn't very fun. I felt so bad I laid on the floor for days. I downloaded mood tools for my phone, I bought books, I wrote I prayed. Anything that it took to keep me going forward. What helped me the most is having faith, getting my hopes up that the next day would feel better. I know getting your hopes up can get them smashed but I always tried to get my hopes up that the next day I would make progress out of the depression
  24. Like
    Demonpenz got a reaction from hocico in The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)   
    I feel pretty good today.  I am on probation at work so each day may be my last. I vow to not drink alcohol today or do any drugs. I am doing a 12 step program of recovery to stay sober. I vow to always try the next step. I ask myself "What is it going to take for me to get healthier" and I try to execute that thing. I have had a horrible two years of depression. Crying spells for a 35 old man isn't very fun. I felt so bad I laid on the floor for days. I downloaded mood tools for my phone, I bought books, I wrote I prayed. Anything that it took to keep me going forward. What helped me the most is having faith, getting my hopes up that the next day would feel better. I know getting your hopes up can get them smashed but I always tried to get my hopes up that the next day I would make progress out of the depression
  25. Like
    Demonpenz got a reaction from MarkintheDark in The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)   
    I feel pretty good today.  I am on probation at work so each day may be my last. I vow to not drink alcohol today or do any drugs. I am doing a 12 step program of recovery to stay sober. I vow to always try the next step. I ask myself "What is it going to take for me to get healthier" and I try to execute that thing. I have had a horrible two years of depression. Crying spells for a 35 old man isn't very fun. I felt so bad I laid on the floor for days. I downloaded mood tools for my phone, I bought books, I wrote I prayed. Anything that it took to keep me going forward. What helped me the most is having faith, getting my hopes up that the next day would feel better. I know getting your hopes up can get them smashed but I always tried to get my hopes up that the next day I would make progress out of the depression
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