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About CatDeeDeeDee

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    Reading, writing, nutrition, cats, all things Hello Kitty
  1. I feel like a huge failure. I took the ServSafe Manager's Certification Exam and failed (this was my first time). The person that proctored my exam stressed to me not to feel upset because this test is hard and 30 percent of people nationally fail this exam the first time around, but deep down, I can't help but feel terrible. I've only told my mom and boyfriend this happened (and now you all) and I know my mom says it'll be okay and I know boyfriend will say the same thing, but I wonder if they're secretly disappointed in me...
  2. I *personally* think I have been depressed since I was about 9 or 10. I first actually told someone that I felt like I was depressed when I was 12, but no one took me seriously. Medically speaking, last July I hit a very rough spot and that's when I was officially diagnosed. I was 24.
  3. Just signed up here. I'm totally excited ^.^

  4. Hi all, new around these parts :) I'm 25 years old and I'm pretty sure I've depression all my life. It wasn't officially diagnosed until last summer and life has been slowly improving with the help of medication and talk therapy, so I'm managing. But I always wonder if I'll ever really truly be happy like "normal people" because I don't have a bad life. I go to a great university, I have a well paying job (that I dislike in some ways, but that's another topic all together), wonderful family and friends and a loving and supportive boyfriend. Logically speaking, there's nothing on the surface that makes my life seem terrible. But I feel like just hiding away and never coming out almost all the time. I feel like I'm a burden to my friends and family and boyfriend (well...not so much to boyfriend, he's the most understanding person out of my group of people, but I still can't help but feel he doesn't deserve the mess that is me). I feel like I'm the stupidest student in my program and that I'm not cut out for my major (dietetics, for those curious); body image issues (I'm overweight, though I have lost some pounds!) plus the constant feelings of being judged for that weight I carry by my peers is very discouraging. I flunk one exam or do poorly on one assignment and I have to fight the urge to just quit. AND on top of it all, I need to keep up a happy face for my mother, who always feels like she's at fault for my feelings and that if she just tries harder, I'll feel better to avoid any drama and problems. In a nutshell, I feel like I'm constantly in a corner. I want to reach out for help and support, but a part of me just...can't do it/won't do it/is afraid to do it/I don't really know. I need a safe place to vent, to feel as though someone understands me and my problems outside of my therapist's office (because lol college doesn't leave a lot of time for therapy) and I want to help support others as well. I look forward to meeting and talking with you all!
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