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Everything posted by Lonelystreet

  1. People who delay public transport to ask the driver questions. Also people who slam doors or windows. Oh and next door neighbours dog who barks 24/7 with the owners consent.
  2. Had a good weekend, but feeling a little lost today.
  3. Knowing my brother will be visiting in July.
  4. I want to go for a swim, in a place i lived in Canada. It was a small little harbour that nobody knew about, that looked out onto a vast lake. I guess it was the happiest time of my life too, so going back there for a swim just makes me feel happy.
  5. This reminded me of Little Shop of Horrors
  6. Feeling a bit better after a rough week or so. Walked the dog in the sun, sat and meditated on the grass and it actually felt really relaxing. The weather has definitely helped with my moods, but starting to gain a bit more independence and not worry about other people and their health as much.
  7. Trying to get my mom off the cigarettes as her health has become my worry. Met a lovely old married couple who have been off them since December. Said they'd quit together and have stuck with it. It nearly made me cry but it also made me smile :)
  8. 12 celcius here (52F), yesterday was sunny and today is a bit overcast. Gonna go out for a walk and try catch some of the sun hopefully.
  9. Feeling a good bit better today. I had to help with a showcase for the kids i teach, was so draining to be friendly and nice to the parents, the kids are fine, im generally happy with them. I got a bit of a scare with my mom, she suddenly felt dizzy and had to sit down, i saw the look of panic in her face and it set me off. Talked it out with her and i told her i'm not ready to lose her. Need to gain my independence a bit more, even though its a struggle as shes my best friend too and can snap me out of a low mood. Small steps. Achieved a lot today. Hope you guys are all doing okay. Sending positive vibes and hugs :)
  10. I'll be okay, don't want to worry anyone here. You guys are great. Just ridiculously feeling out of sorts right now. Alcohol is not my friend it seems. Deep breaths :)
  11. Met friends for brunch, got into the swing of things, went for drinks, escalated - feeling so strange now.. bit worried about myself, this feels like a new level. Oh..
  12. Best of luck Natasha, you can do it!!! ((((())))) Just focus on the feeling of when its over if you feel overwhelmed, it will give you a positive vibe (it works for me!). You'll be great and not everyone will be solely focusing on you, get comfortable with the space and visualise yourself performing. You'll be great :) I recently was asked to play at my friends humanist wedding in October. Not just to play during the drinks part of the wedding, but as they come down the aisle!! That's still a scary thought to process but also an honour to be asked!
  13. Have you tried turning it off and on again? I'm no IT expert, but i've found this to be my solution to most things! Hope you're getting some much needed rest now. Good job on getting through today :)
  14. Had a great counselling session, probably because i did my own independent research and brought a lot of it forward. I feel like i'm finally uncovering the reasons as to why i'm so trapped. Small steps as they say. Night-time is always a better time for me so i'm just enjoying some good feelings for a while. Hope everyone else is doing okay.
  15. Brought the dog out for a nice walk. Did some gardening. Tried to be pro active. Getting ready to go to counselling now, i always seem to feel a bit better when i'm going somewhere to unload and make sense of my periodic madness. Hope everyone is having a comfortable Friday. :)
  16. Some very interesting methods, thanks for posting as i might try a few of these out. Although, I'd be wary about the uses of Kratom. It is a legal high, like a lot of headshop products and has been banned in a few states (as well as here in ireland) for its addictiveness and similarities to illegal drug/opium/methedone. Its long term effects are unknown and anyone taking other medication i'd be warning not to mix. It is also highly addictive and can be abused in the wrong way. I'm no expert on it, but i feel this post should have some kind of disclaimer as if people are not aware of its full values, it may lead to implications.
  17. Thank you, Brian. Thats very insightful and i needed it. It really is amazing when the cloud is lifted, how clear everything can be in perspective. Hoping this is another turning point, i have counselling tomorrow which should help
  18. Im feeling more stable now. I had to go teach and i wasn't feeling that up to it, but i got into the swing of things and even laughed with the kids a good bit. They are a good distraction and its so nice out we can do drama outside in the garden :) Feeling a little more optimistic, still the thought of college (i was accepted for next september) seems looming and huge and also the thought of my parents health are ringing in my ears, but i feel i can deal with it a lot better now and not break down and feel hopeless. Swings and roundabouts. Would love to go out or randomly text a friend now, but feeling secure being in my room again. Small steps i guess and i don't want to rock the boat too much yet.
  19. If you're not feeling up to it, don't do it RL. You've been interviewing lots lately so take your time over the process otherwise it will overwhelm you. You're doing great :)
  20. Well that was short lived. Woke up with a smack whallop, thinking meds is the only answer to this now and i really didn't want to go that route. Sorry to be down and out if people are reading, it's getting hard each time to pick myself back up.
  21. Feeling strangely comfortable. Like a fog that had been hanging around for months has been lifted. No meds, no good news booster, no idea. This is why its strange, i'm almost apprehensive that it's just temporary and then slap bang, back to my constant worries and moods. I was able to have a really indepth conversation with my parents (who are not speaking to each other), separately. I felt alive and all my worries and fears were gone or were rational. I've no idea what triggered it but it was badly needed as i felt suffocated the past week. Hoping its not temporary, looking forward to counselling on Friday, hopefully i can get my head around this. I wanna be me again. Hoping tomorrow is good for you all too. Big hugs :)
  22. Woke up with bad anxiety, did some meditation, brought the dog for a walk in the park and now getting ready to teach drama classes. Feeling a bit better, slow progress.
  23. Hello Corbin, A lot of what you wrote resonates with me. I'm a mature student and found it hard in high school to concentrate or to apply myself. I decided i wanted to further my education so i took an Access course to University. It was hard, believe me, but somehow i did get through it. I recently was accepted to college and all my fears and worries flooded in. I don't know how i'll cope, manage or even participate in any of it. I think the problem is the fear of the unknown, we doubt ourselves because we haven't found the confidence to go into the unknown. I'm still absolutely terrified but i'm trying to tell myself it will all be okay and the time to worry is not now. Also i'm trying to do things to prepare myself mentally for it. Your list is great, you have goals and things to reach which is such a huge positive step. I'd advise looking at the options available to you when its not so overwhelming. You have some time and space to let the thoughts settle a bit so don't worry if its a source of stress right now. I'm feeling stressed, anxious and overwhelmed by it all, but i know these feelings will change in the next few months and we have time on our hands to let our minds become ready. I wish you all the best, if you need to chat let me know, i understand where you are coming from! You can do it :)
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