jballan

So... I was put on risperidone for a couple of years for severe depression and it caused me to gain almost 100lbs. I gained 40lbs really fast, and didn't even change my eating habits. I used to be very fit, ran marathons, etc. I stopped taking it because I couldn't handle the weight gain. I have been off of it for 4 months and still can't lose weight despite dieting and seeing a nutritionist. I've never been overweight before this and it's making me SO depressed. I am so disgusted with myself, I can't even look in the mirror. I don't leave the house because I am embarrassed. Haven't seen any friends in like a year. I'm just mortified. Being this weight makes me want to die. Especially since I can't seem to lose it due to medical reasons. I'm not sure what to do about it, or how to get myself not to hate myself so much for looking like this. I don't fit in any of my clothes, I'm just so hopeless. I don't want to live, if this is how I am going to look!

It's just too hard, too much. I get so stressed after sessions, I don't think it's worth it. Now I am feeling really hopeless about things. To think I lost that great support I had.

Yes I have told her many times about my concerns, she always talks me into staying. I too regret leaving therapists when I don't have another one lined up. I had a great doctor but he retired, and I can't help but hold my expectations to get someone like him. I feel really horrible leaving such a good doctor, who really cares! I just don't know what I am getting out of therapy. I'm pretty sure she will contact me, I don't know what to do in that situation. I'm sorry you are in hiatus with your therapist that can be really difficult. Finding a new therapist is not a desirable task!

She just doesn't understand me that well. I am constantly having to explain everything. I also don't feel like she listens to me. She is a great doctor though, she has visited me at home, in the hospital, and is always on call. When I get suicidal she calls me everyday until I am doing better. I know doctors like this just don't exist, I know she really cares. I just get so angry after sessions and feel misunderstood. I can't take it.

I just emailed my doctor that I'm done with therapy and to remove me from her calendar. I had been seeing her 2x per week for 2.5 years. I'm not sure what to do now. I can't try another therapist, I just refuse to let myself get set up to be let down again. I feel pretty hopeless.