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  1. It all started in December. I went to DC to take some tests for a great job with the government. A week from then I would be graduating college, hoping to land the job, I was excited and ready to **** these tests and start my life. I went to the testing site and I couldn't go on because my blood pressure was too high. A waste of money traveling down there. A week later I graduate college. In the meantime, I'm working my current part time job trying to make as much money as possible to put away towards a new car along with any other money to start saving once my student loans start coming in june. Christmas pasts, new years pasts and its february. I decide to take a test for a job on my birthday. 2 days later the girl i love decides to put a halt to our relationship. Im crushed. She's too selfish and doesn't understand the things I would do to take her back. Over the next few months I take more tests to get a full time job in my field and nothing is working out. It is now mid to late April and my student loans will be here in a month or so. Im so damn miserable. All i do when im home is mope around. I have no desire to keep a conversation with anyone. All I do is think about my ex and how much i miss her and trying to find a full time job. Im 23 years old with a college degree. I shouldn't be feeling this way all day everyday. I cant take it anymore. Everything I do isn't good enough and I keep getting let down by everything. Some nights i cry myself to sleep. Some nights i think to myself i just cant take it anymore and want to end it all. I just dont know what to do anymore. My ex and I have seen each other here and there and when im around her all my troubles go away and my mind is taken off everything that bothers me. I just wish the feelings were still mutual. I want to send a text but i do not want my problems on her shoulders.
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