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Steak47

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About Steak47

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  • Birthday June 14

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  1. Hey I think its definitely helpful to reach out on forums like this where other people share similar issues. Sometimes there is no pinpoint for depression, i used to try and work out what caused mine all the time but in reality that wouldnt change anything. Good that you've been researching! I always think its helpful to understand your illness. In terms of tips, i'd just say be kind to yourself, work out what makes you feel good and bad, what things relax you and keep busy if you find your mind wandering to a bad place. Good luck with your psych on Friday! Hope you get the help you need 🙂
  2. I came off sertraline in January as i was tired of having no emotion.. now i have all the emotions. I am irritated and severely anrgy to the point where i will swear at my boyfriend and throw things (not at him). Im panicking constantly about the future to the point where i can't stop thinking of suicide, it becomes more appealing everyday, i can't see a future where I'm going to be happy..i cry at everything on the television which i never used to, i keep having intrusive thoughts that life and things arent real too.. although tbh ive had that my whole life. I dont want to go back on meds cos i just feel they make my thoughts slower and my emotions are just non existent. Does anyone have any alternatives they've tried? I feel like all my issues stem from childhood, my dad hung himself, my stepdad was emotionally abusive, i was sexually abused as a child by older children, and maybe discussing these would help but therapy is just so expensive and i cannot afford it
  3. Just got back from my friend's babyshower, had a nice time, socialised. Now im home i keep thinking nobody likes me, even though they're nice to me and talk to me, they dont really like me, they all think im a horrible person. Keep thinking my friend that invited me doesnt like me either, even though i was the only friend she invited because she just wanted close people there im still convinced she doesnt like me Then i spiral and think that one day my thoughts will drive me so crazy ill try and **** myself
  4. I have suffered with anxiety and depression for as long as i can remember. Just recently my issues to connect with people are becoming more obvious, i do have a great circle of friends, loving family and a boyfriend, i have maintained these relationships for years however, if these people get too emotional around me i cringe, i physically do not want to spend time with them and i dont know why, more so if friends cry in front of me im able to be comforting but if its a family member i struggle. With my boyfriend i dont show affection, loving things physically make me feel ill, i dont have sex with him because i feel long term relationship and sex dont go together, (note: if i was causally seeing someone sex would not be an issue) i cant bare for him to compliment me. Aside from all this i work in a caring profession and am fine with caring for others and i can be there for someone im not too close with like a work friend, but emotions with close people are a no. I can't express how sick it makes me feel. I also dont like to get upset in front of others and if i do i feel i cant see them for a while or i have to put on a super confident mask. Im aware this isnt normal. Guess my question is, does anyone else feel like this? And where can i get help before i actually lose my boyfriend because im pushing him to the edge.
  5. Im struggling at the moment in seeing the point in life. I exercise, try and walk around green places and just started thai chi. Anything anyone does daily they think helps?
  6. Does anyone have any practical advice or words of wisdom? I just find i cant be in the moment and i am constantly worrying about where my life is going. Im 11 months from graduating as a mental health nurse, i am not doing great in my final year and i think im self sabotaging because im scared that im going to make an awful nurse! Then when i get past this worry i think about the fact that i will be nearly 28 when i qualify and then i constantly have thoughts that what's the point in anything because ill be expected to have kids at this point in my life. Then i think its my life i can do what i want and then i get thoughts that if i do what i want i will leave it too late to have kids (not even sure i want them btw) and then my boyfriend will leave me and i will end up alone, do shit at my career and my life will just fall apart. I cant stop this spiral and it's really occupying my mind:(
  7. I have recently stopped my sertraline as I have felt that over the years of being on antidepressants the side effects have always outweighed the slight benefits I receive. I do not feel much worse at the moment without them, my anxiety is heightened however. My most latest intrusive thoughts are about being intimate with other men. Usually people at my uni or work. I feel these thoughts stick in my head for ages and they give me some sort of euphoric feeling, especially when i speak to the person I am having the thoughts for. When I then go home to my boyfriend I feel spaced out and unable to connect with him as I feel I'm living these fantasies inside my head and not in real life. I then get really upset because I can't stop the thoughts and I feel like I'm cheating on him. I love him so much and it makes me feel that he deserves better! I then spiral and start panicking about whether I am slipping into psychosis without realising?? Which makes everything even worse. I suffer a lot with depersonalisation which is where I feel the psychosis worry comes from. Does anyone ever feel any of the above? I'd love some reassurance that I'm not a bad person or about to lose my sanity!
  8. I feel I've been doing well lately with my mood, however when I socialise I have constantly had thoughts that nobody likes me, that nobody would care if I wasn't there, tonight this led to me leaving a party after an hour without saying bye to anybody. This is unlike me. I just feel even though people are nice to me, and make effort with that deep down they don't really like me. I feel curious lately I might have bpd? Everytime something minor happens I get stressed and have thoughts to **** myself.
  9. I went out last weekend and got the drunkest I've been in a while. I had been doing really well on 50mg sertraline. Since that night I've been anxious and low. Not even upset, just getting out of bed is too much effort. I haven't showered in 4 days, I've stopped going to the gym and my once healthy eating is now binge eating. I've cancelled plans with friends this weekend which has made me feel worse. It's been a whole week since I drank now and it's showing no signs of changing. Should I speak to the docs about upping my dose? Has this happened to anyone?
  10. Thanks epictetus. Your replies are always so helpful and well received. I think you're right and Maybe I need some counselling for this, it's just always nice to get people's perspectives and if anyone has gone through a similar thing it makes you feel less alone, thank You, I sure will!
  11. Thanks for responding. Well my dad committed suicide when I was 2, the man that bought me up after that wasn't a very good role model, he drank a lot and beat my mom, he also had bipolar. However my current stepdad who has bought me up since 12 is amazing!! And we are extremely close, I do constantly aim to make him proud and always seek his approval.
  12. Aside from depression and anxiety, over the years I've had trouble with intrusive thoughts, usually violent or sexual which have obviously made depression worse. However I'm not sure whether these thoughts are intrusive, they've been going on a long time but I've only recently seen them for what they are. I am convinced that every man fancies me, even if man doesn't speak to me I have thoughts that it's just because they'e too shy to talk to me cos they find me attractive, I think I also want everyone to find me attractive. I am self conscious about the way i look most of the time and I constantly pick on my worst features and have days where i hate myself, so I don't know why I have these thoughts, I'm scared I'm quite delusional and this is really making me anxious and upset, any insight? It might be worth mentioning that I feel more attractive to strangers than to long term bf as as soon as someone knows me inside out I somehow begin to feel unattractive.. and am unable to have sex in long term relationships..
  13. Hey Tim Thanks for replying, yeah I'm definitely going to call my GP tomorrow, just to be sure! Yeah I will update you :)
  14. That's what I'm worried about Do you think there's a chance i have underlying bipolar? I've never had mood swings before! Just depression
  15. So for the past 2 weeks I've had a constant feeling of excitement! Like I'm about to embark on an amazing adventure everyday of my life. Or that feeling you get when you're dating someone new and you're excited all the time! I especially feel like it today, I have so much energy, I've been for a run this morning, I'm currently supposed to be finishing my uni assignment but I feel too excited to do that, I started on sertraline a few weeks ago, does anyone think it's down to this? Should I speak to the GP or just enjoy this feeling!?
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