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Everything posted by emmalina

  1. Will Self definitely - such fantastic use of language and lovely satire
  2. oh yes i completely understand that! i'm the same way a lot. but i hope you stay feeling good for a long long time! :) *pays for flapjack and coffee then goes and has a little dance to the live jazz music in the corner to celebrate feeling good!* :tongue: Em
  3. im ok at the moment thankyou ((())) little bit floaty, but nothing bad. How are you? Yummy flapjack by the way
  4. Could i have a pan of earl grey and a big chunk of comforting flapjack please?
  5. i was meant to go to the shops today but i ended up playing guitar instead and sitting around... then my friend came to get me for her party, that i swear she said was tomorrow. but im all too anxious today (even though i said i'd be down in a few minutes... over an hour ago!) so am hiding!
  6. Thanks for the replies guys. Actually i feel all fragmented at the moment. Like i got triggered by going home. And i all changed into another state i think. I have been having conversations with people. But i just blank out and miss everything they say. I think i will look more into being in dissociative states cos i think im getting flashbacks too and that part of my illness has never been looked into but it's the one that is giving me the most probs atm. If anyone has any good links then that would be greatly appreciated. Thanks again. Em
  7. Can't sleep either hon Gonna make myself some camomile tea i think. Have you got any relaxation techniques to help you littlestar? <------------ and that one is for you lander. (hi idunno! i keep just missing people i/they go offline...grrr...)
  8. Hello hello... is there anybody in/out there?!
  9. Thanks guys. Kstours - i'm not sure if the rules here allow me to talk about why im off my meds, but i might PM you if thats ok, because that might have some bearing on the situation. I have just withdrawn int myself completely. I don't speak to anyone. I don't feel much like i inhabit my bodye.g. I don't get hungry or notice things around me. Just feel like i'm stuck in my head. And i'm all suspicious of everything. Looking for patterns in stuff that indicates something divine going on. And thinking about an alternate universe and wanting to know more. But it was never the plan for me to be off meds. My doctor is away at the moment and the only other that i can see, just doesnt get it. He previously said i was fine and needed nothing because according i am clever and apparently remind him of his daughter ( i honestly dont know how he got to be a psych) ... which was 2 weeks before i got put on... depakote - calisto. This box thing is horrible isn't it? I hope it passes for you soon... Brenda thankyou for that exercise. I will definitely try this :) Em
  10. I'm really up and down at the moment. And i have to deal with being unmedicated at the moment. But at the same time i'm finding it impossible to cry, or get all these emotions out of my system, because i'm feeling kind of numbed at the same time. It's also affecting my relationships with people. I'm just cutting them off, or not being able to connect with anyone emotionally. I feel nothing towards them (though i know this is just my illness). But it's really getting to me, and also i think to them as well. It's been like this a few weeks now. But i really have no idea what to do about it. Plus my thinking is getting stranger and stranger, and my mind is wandering off on all these different tangents. I think i am maybe losing contact with reality... I'm not sure what's going on? does anyone one have any ideas/suggestions. Anything would be useful. Thanks, Em.
  11. Lol Bindi! I've done that before. With my voice too. Scary isn't it?!
  12. Hi everyone. Oh god, i miss chat! I'm really lazy today bindi, i'm not up or dressed yet. And i missed college this morning. Ooops! I'm really struggling with rapid cycling at the moment, and it's thrown my sleep right off. I went off shopping in asda at like half past twelve last night! That was quite funny...
  13. Mine is Soma by the Smashing Pumpkins. Though i keep playing Legacy by Mansun over and over. And Doll parts by Hole too...
  14. Firstly it's great you are getting on well with CBT, and staying really positive. Starting anew and making big changes like this are very stressful. And i'm kind of going through a similar thing, with the little voice too. My thoughts on it are that it's basically me being scared of things going wrong, and a form of self-sabotage or just trying to protect myself from failing what i want to do. I'm not sure of the most effective way to stop this. But i do try to firstly acknowledge that a part of me feels this way - an irrational part. Then i reason with it. List all reasons why it is wrong, and all the postive things i have and have to look forward to. Then tell it to shut up! I don't think that's really much help, or anything you probably haven't tried. But you seem to be doing so well. I hope this voice leaves you be soon. And good luck with the writing - i think it's fab you've found what you want to do, and are making solid steps towards it :) Em.
  15. Hey Bear, haven't seen you in ages. Hope you are ok. Hugs for the bear meister (((()))) :) x ems

  16. Was only on a small amount so didn't have to taper, and not in such a state anymore, though i do keep having bits of random movements and words. Since it no longer seems so serious just gonna mention it to a pdoc when i next see one. Cheers Sheepwoman.
  17. mine was very strange, stressful and in parts, floaty; didn't even feel like a real day.
  18. you best still be sleeping, cos i haven't yet!haha!x

  19. i haven't yet!!!!!!!! its 7.28am and still going strong. there's actually no point in the sleep now... am completely wired though may need someone to start wiping dribble off my chin! lol

  21. beeeeeaaaaar!......that is all :)

  22. 8.33 am i went to bed...my sleep pattern is shot to pieces...
  23. many years ago i used to believe that humble i, and marilyn manson were destined to be together! lol! sshhhhhh.... keep it secret, keep it safe....... :p
  24. i met my boyfriend on the web, and despite recent problems and going on a break, we've been together 3 years now. we talked for a few months then met up, as we don't live exceptionally far from each other. i also met up with someone before that. the relationship didn't work - when we got it together and met up there just wasn't any chemistry. but we have been very close friends for 4 years - he's like a brother. and i also knew a couple who were together years, and never met up - very much in love. although i would be careful of "weirdos" out there because i have ended up speaking ot a few- my top tip from that experience is to never speak to someone who asks you to castrate them and whose favourite music is satanic opera lol!...yes be careful...
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