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LouisRiel

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  1. Like
    LouisRiel got a reaction from JD4010 in What's On Your Mind Right Now? (2)   
    Pretty sure she thinks I am a malingering drain on her precious tax dollars because I was racing, talking nervous instead of silent. I learned spew out the basics I have detached myself from fairly well because it got my ass out of emergency. Oh well, as long as I have some connection and prescriber who can say I am a patient and not deny me controlled substances her opinion does not matter. I am not an addict, but I have take as needed Ativan that walk in clinics refuse to prescribe.
  2. Like
    LouisRiel got a reaction from JD4010 in What's On Your Mind Right Now? (2)   
    Why do I still say some variation of "I want to get so ****ing drunk" in my head a thousand times a day? I was never actually a drunk either.
  3. Sad
    LouisRiel got a reaction from JD4010 in Has anybody else wasted their life?   
    They censored the part where I 'elegantly' said it was the only reason I wish I was a male. I am not saying none of us should have children, but in my case I have no safe options and would destroy myself worrying if I tried.
    Pregnancy on (my) meds: risk to baby 
    Pregnancy off meds: risk to baby and myself
    Surrogacy: Hormones.. nope
    Unrelated
    Even though I am fairly young I do find it exhausting knowing I still have so many years to live. Especially when I know I will still be fighting my mood swings and various impairments till the day I die.
  4. Like
    LouisRiel got a reaction from velvetpuddles in What's On Your Mind Right Now? (2)   
    Why do I still say some variation of "I want to get so ****ing drunk" in my head a thousand times a day? I was never actually a drunk either.
  5. Like
    LouisRiel got a reaction from sober4life in What's On Your Mind Right Now? (2)   
    Why do I still say some variation of "I want to get so ****ing drunk" in my head a thousand times a day? I was never actually a drunk either.
  6. Like
    LouisRiel got a reaction from velvetpuddles in What's On Your Mind Right Now? (2)   
    Pretty sure she thinks I am a malingering drain on her precious tax dollars because I was racing, talking nervous instead of silent. I learned spew out the basics I have detached myself from fairly well because it got my ass out of emergency. Oh well, as long as I have some connection and prescriber who can say I am a patient and not deny me controlled substances her opinion does not matter. I am not an addict, but I have take as needed Ativan that walk in clinics refuse to prescribe.
  7. Like
    LouisRiel got a reaction from sober4life in Random Thoughts #3   
    Hahaha good timing 🙂
  8. Like
    LouisRiel got a reaction from Epictetus in What was your first thought this morning?   
    I hope it isn't late. I don't WANT to go out yet. <voice of a p***** off 3 year old
  9. Like
    LouisRiel got a reaction from JD4010 in How Do You Feel Right Now #6   
    Pretty good actually. I have been enjoying a lot of conversation here lately.
  10. Like
    LouisRiel got a reaction from JD4010 in How Do You Feel Right Now #6   
    Okay for now.
  11. Like
    LouisRiel got a reaction from JD4010 in Has anybody else wasted their life?   
    Not being able to have children is one of the most difficult things in my life. The constant reminder of what I won't have because I am ill and my risks are too high. This is probably the only time I wished I had a chicken so I could still have kids of my own without physical risk.
    Also I have literally blacked out many years of my life as my moods fluctuated, so there are many things and people I don't remember. Which can feel "wasted" to me. The only good part is knowing I still made a difference for them even though I don't remember it all.
  12. Like
    LouisRiel reacted to velvetpuddles in What's The Plan, Stan?   
    A very good problem, indeed! I just counted...I've bought 20 books in the past couple months (all used and/discounted, so they were only a couple dollars a piece, yay!). And I'm going to check out a used book store on Saturday that's having a $5/bag sale for any paperbacks you can fit in a paper bag! I'm so excited but I have NO idea when I'm gonna get through them all!
  13. Like
    LouisRiel reacted to Sophy in Talk therapy during ketamine treatment   
    Could you try one appointment of each (with/ without talk therapy) and then decide which one you prefer and whether you think the talk therapy during the treatment is "worth" the additional expense?
    Personally, I would like to try the one with talk therapy.
    But sure, money is always an issue!!
    Where I live, even the non-talk version of ketamine is (too) expensive for me.
  14. Like
    LouisRiel got a reaction from Sophy in How much of your depression is due to "being different" - not fitting in, not being part of the herd, not being mainstream, being unusual etc   
    I definitely feel I can relate to not having the same interests, but I am perfectly content on my own outside of the academic world. I get my fill in lecture halls and return home to recuperate. 
    And yes when I am higher especially or around people I like or are just as crazy I can be that loud, vulgar outrageous one, but it takes a lot of energy out of me 🙂 I am sober now, but I was once dragged out of a bar by my family calling the owner a stupid ****ing Biotch.. no regrets she is.
  15. Like
    LouisRiel got a reaction from MaepleSyrup in Join Me At The Cafe   
    Insulated barrel of Iced Capps and a blueberry muffin
  16. Sad
    LouisRiel got a reaction from Mavigo in What's On Your Mind Right Now? (2)   
    Rent, bills, school, and stress
  17. Like
    LouisRiel got a reaction from Mavigo in What was your first thought this morning?   
    ****ing phone swipe to answer my call!
  18. Haha
    LouisRiel reacted to sober4life in How much of your depression is due to "being different" - not fitting in, not being part of the herd, not being mainstream, being unusual etc   
    I guess I'm both.  Sometimes I'm the quiet weirdo and sometimes I'm an extrovert but not one that fits in.  I blow through the room like a hurricane.  I can be the person at a party you won't even remember being there or the person you talk about for years.  You wouldn't believe what that ***** did and I love every second of it.
  19. Like
    LouisRiel got a reaction from Epictetus in What Are You Eating? #2   
    Freezies?
  20. Like
    LouisRiel got a reaction from SpiralingMind in Random Thoughts #3   
    People pi** me off
  21. Like
    LouisRiel got a reaction from Mavigo in How Is Your Weather Today? #17   
    Enjoying the rain
  22. Like
    LouisRiel got a reaction from Mavigo in What was your first thought this morning?   
    Too tired to move.. must close eyes
  23. Sad
    LouisRiel got a reaction from Mavigo in What was your first thought this morning?   
    Ugh I missed my alarm, my meds are all the way across the room, and my stitches ****ing hurt. 
  24. Like
    LouisRiel got a reaction from sober4life in Random Thoughts #3   
    People pi** me off
  25. Like
    LouisRiel reacted to JD4010 in How Is Your Weather Today? #17   
    Me too. We are at 34C (93F) and very humid. I walked into work and sweated at my desk for an hour.
    We have been breaking heat records for the past 3 or 4 days. Most people like summer. I F'ing hate it. It only means sweat and mosquitoes to me.
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