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KevinT

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  1. Thanks. Sorry to hear about the deaths in your life. That can really bum people out and make them question life in general or what 'the point' of it all is.
  2. I used medications as a kid, maybe some in my 20s. They never helped. In fact gave me more side effects than benefits, if any benefit at all. One med, PAXIL, had me jerking and twitching for 4 months after stopping. I don't trust the stuff. Sunlight, exercise, going out, being 'mindful', getting regular sleep, keeping busy....all seem to do better.
  3. Hello, So I'm a 41 year old male and hit a point in life where I realize that I have been suffering from depression for nearly 3 decades, and somehow it went unchecked and unnoticed. I spent years covering it up, distracting, being angry, avoiding many responsibilities, living like a child, drinking, sex, internet....you name it. Now I'm 41, and I feel used, tired, old, outdated, obsolete, and like life's 'chances' have passed me by. I've done some things, but nothing close to what I was capable of. I spent years chasing women and alcohol to feel at ease, but it never came. I search high and low for the answer in distractions and it never came. So now, I am 41, and I feel like a child, in a Man's body. My negative self talk is constant, on a minute by minute basis. I just started to REALLY look at myself and realize I have had it all wrong...and I've failed immensely. I came here from a mention in a book called "The Depression Cure", which I am trying to follow to the letter, but the negative talk is overwhelming. I've failed a lot in life, I've hurt people along the way, I've wasted my time...my years...and I feel like any shot at redemption is a lost cause. My self image is of a piece of sh**t. My only redemption is that I am in shape and 'younger' looking and a talented musician/songwriter/composer...which doesn't help. Never married, never kids, not a 'real' relationship with a woman in years...and 90% of any attempts ended badly. So here I am. Trying, but empty, but willing to change EVERYTHING, because living the way I do is ******* me. Life has humbled me greatly. I feel like I got the message. It really hurts to know and see it loud and clear.
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