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About Corbin

  • Birthday 02/16/1998

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    New York
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  1. Unfortunately, I had to postpone that to January to make money since we're on a financial crux. Fortunately, I got a job at a pet resort, but the applications are on halt, so that means I'm wait-listed. I'm still accepted, but not at the moment. As for what I want to study, I think a medicine or science/STEM would work best. Something that would help people's lives. I just hope my math skills are up to par. Today, my mom and sister left to Maine. It's an 8 hour drive from here to there and it's better that I didn't go with them considering how emotional everyone was this morning.
  2. After giving it some time to think, I decided to lay off of college for the next 6 months until the winter/spring semester that starts in January of next year. I can't help but feel awful about myself by taking another year off just to work. Given, I did go back to college in June, but that was only for a couple of days. Now, I have to delay my college participation by no more than 6 months. Life is hard, but we all have to live and learn. My biggest fear, however, was just being too old for when I go back and that I wouldn't be able to develop a support group of people my age for when I get there. Given, there are some countries where students wouldn't be done with high school until 18-19, but I feel like I'll be in the minority for when I get back because I will be at the cusp or tails end of my age. Sorry if this sounds like a lot of pandering. I feel like I want to vomit for giving up my personal freedoms as a means to crutch my parents's financial pressures.
  3. He takes my feelings for granted, then tells me to man up and say that people don't care. I told him that it's hard to find a job and he says "bulls***." What doesn't he get? He acts as if getting a job is really easy. I've been mainly using indeed as my local job source, but had to resort to applying for a couple of jobs on craigslist. I'm 19, but he treats me like I'm 30 and tells me to grow up.
  4. Dropped out after realizing it wasn't for me. I'm going back in August to another CC. My mother today called my sister a Biotch after some arguing about nonsense.
  5. Nyo-ho! I never expected someone with a Gyro Zeppeli pic. You remind me of myself when I was your age. High School can be very tough, but you will eventually make it, as a lot of people don't really care about what happened in high school or whether or not one got bad grades or was popular when you are in College, since people worry about their own things. You are a highly intelligent person and you're still trying to find yourself. There's no need to rush everything. You still have a lot to live for. Not everyone is perfect and can't make mistakes, because that's what makes us human. Message me if you're interested to talk some more.
  6. Well, college is still abound for August, so there's something to look forward to. The only problem is just being able to keep myself there for as long as I could. Last year did not work out so well due to my hospitalization, medications, and poor commute going on. I had no idea why I chose that college in the first place. You're right that my Mom thinks I'm letting myself go, but I'm only 19, not 25. The jobs mainly consist of internships, pets, online, data entry, and assistant jobs and they're all on indeed. Only one job needed a cover letter sent. That's what I was trying to do in my first few weeks of finding a job until the mention of temp agencies and building my resume came up in late March. That's when I started to get more motivated and compelled to finding a job in this tough market, but considering how my disassociation with business specifics (in terms of the concept and how it works, not with working in said field (sometimes; I do get along with all kinds of people regardless), my lack of an outgoing personality (most of the time) and post-education, College, regardless, always remains my top priority, especially since it's the gateway to a successful career (depending on what degree you choose, of course). However, as I mentioned before, I'm afraid of giving up and being alone with no one to relate to, because I don't want to act like I don't do anything with my life and how everything is my fault. I have checked temp agencies, but most of them require degrees. And I do help my family in some instances such as bringing laundry, cleaning, etc. Even today, I helped some movers with some boxes and they were impressed. The boss even discussed how hard it is with no college degree since he didn't go to college. I just hope I can get there on time. There's only 2 months left. And even then, Plattsburgh did provide a "soft" reset to my time I've been unemployed.
  7. No matter how hard I try, it's never enough for her. My mom has been pressuring me more than ever to get me a job, now that her health insurance has been cancelled by her boss. So far, I've applied to 34 jobs and I ask myself: "When is enough enough?" I'm only 19 years old, but I feel like she's just pressuring me to no end.
  8. Today, my mother suggested that I get a job after the both of us were arguing about me working on the weekends. I told her that I am capable of working either or, since working a 7 days a week, to me, is slavery. I submitted an application to ACME with Saturday included, with me being available from midday to evening. However, the problem was that the both of us were arguing about me getting up because she doesn't want Dad to see me in bed. Given, I'm not always in bed and I did have some intentions of going out today (I even bought some stuff), but she treated this as if I never went outside for a year or an eternity. The problem I have with my Dad is that I never seem to understand him. He's a giant ****ing baby that throws temper tantrums when things don't go his way. When he sees anything as or with a mess, he throws a fit. He does not like being told no when some things can't be arranged for him and prefers to do things his own way regardless. He's extremely stubborn and doesn't seem to like spending time with us as a family (we literally went to a ****ing golf course last year after I planned out a dinner for him in the city for Father's day). The problem is, though, when I brought home some food, my Mom immediately told me to clean it up before Dad gets home and I told him that if he expects to stay here throwing temper tantrums then he can live somewhere else. Problem is, though, the apartment is under his name, as is everything he owns, which is why I get frustrated when he acts like he's entitled to it and thinks everything is his. Another problem, however, is that he doesn't completely own everything. The apartment isn't entirely his or my mother's because they own, as I would like to say, the license or lease to the apartment, not the apartment itself. Why can't they understand that they don't own everything? I just hope I can get out as soon as I can so I wouldn't be dragged into anything.
  9. @Rattler6 thanks, but I realize now that there's a lot more to it than just my Mom. You see, I was unemployed from March to June with the notion that I was gong to college in late May. That didn't work out and by the time I went to Plattsburgh, I learned that College wasn't the fit for me. My mother said that she'll find a trade school with STEM for me, knowing that she doesn't trust me after two failed attempts at college. However, I've been having doubts about myself because my sister and mother were aruging about their relationship and how the parents influence the child and such (this was the time where we were about to have lunch and we have terrible time management because most of us take forever to get ready) and I didn't want to say anything because I was already so irritated and angry. I then explained my problems about my sister being high strung over everything and how Mom says I'm always so angry idk it's hard to explain... By the time we were about to have lunch, the phone rang and my sister didn't pick it up so I loudly exclaimed: "PICK UP THE ****ING PHONE!" I then grabbed it and my mother got so scared of me and I tried to calm her down (this happened in public, minus the phone exclamation, which was in the car) because we both knew I would never hurt anybody. There was a car behind us and I couldn't tell whether or not he was calling the police according to my mom or getting starbucks according to my sister. My mom and I started discussing a bit and I told her that everyone makes my life a living hell until she decided to say that I make everyone's life a living hell. Somehow, she knew about the order of protection I made towards Dad in March a few threads back and we were also arguing about what I was gonna do for the summer. She said there weren't any trade school programs in the summer and suggested that I get a job where I could work 7 days a week. I told her no because I didn't want to spend every day of my life working because I considered that slavery and I often value my freedom, despite the fact that my family makes the situations in our lives so dire that everytime I think about it, I think about my Dad in our argument loudly exclaiming that I "join the ****ing army." However, I don't intend on joining the army because I want that to be a last, last resort because like I said before, I'm not reluctant to give up my freedom. But I just hope I can find something to get me out of the house.
  10. Actually, I misread my email. The courses from Plattsburgh do transfer, though all of them are online and given how I don't have a degree that I want to study for, it'll be irrelevant to even try and finish the semester since there's a likelihood that only one of them will transfer, let alone half.
  11. Today, my mother quit my job because she couldn't stand her boss. I tried to go to college but the courses were mainly/mostly online and the on-campus courses were mainly advanced. I called Herkimer to see if my credits from SUNY Plattsburgh were transferable but they said they weren't since they were from SUNY. Yesterday, I packed everything and left the college since it was pointless to be there and I started to have doubts on whether or not college was the fit for me. This morning, my mother said she quit her job as mentioned before. Given, I do plan on getting a job, but with no plan on what to do next with my life, let alone find a trade school that fits my standards, etc.
  12. If college doesn't work, are there any other programs that I may enroll in, specifically those regarding computers and STEM?
  13. I know the past few months have been me venting a lot about my parents and my employment situation, but I managed to go to college despite being 60 or miles close to Montreal and having mostly online-only courses. A lot of the on-campus courses tend to be advanced, so I was unable to sign up for anything other than my current classes: Math, Global History, and Intro to Computing and Web. The problem I have with myself regarding school and family is that I don't have any friends or anyone to talk to, so I am (almost) completely on my own, but I guess the same could be said for everyone else here (almost). I got a 2 bedroom dorm, but it seems that I don't have a roommate yet, so it's likely I'll be spending the semester alone, also. As for family, I feel like I disappoint them a lot because I can't seem to control myself due to how easily irritated I am with them. I often get angry with them because I feel like I can't talk to them like people. They get so emotional all the time and I feel like I disappoint myself because we argue and curse at each other so much. My Dad doesn't want to spend time with me and my Mom is hiding behind a mirror because she thinks that moving to the apartment helped solve all our problems, while it didn't. While the notion of the apartment isn't important, my relationship with my parents is. I'm scared and I hate myself for cursing at them, despite my Mom giving me the finger after getting angry at Dad for not helping or listening to her. I don't know...I'm just...scared and lonely...I pressured myself to go to college despite my mental condition and lack of summer courses or lack thereof...all for the sake that I could gain some distance between my parents. I just hope I can pass or finish this course, even though it's my first day...I'm so scared...I need help... When I was arguing with my mother, she said that I needed to be quiet, even though I was, but when we started arguing, I started mentioning the fact that I wanted old people to die faster, mainly due to my frustration with them. The human race is so violent and the reason why I said that was due to my frustration with the apartment and town and how one of the barber's was a psychopath (my mother mentioned to me how he messed up some kids arm almost 10 years ago) and every time I see him, I just wish he were dead.
  14. I'm scared about this, as well. I just moved into my dorm in a 2 bed room and it's taken me a while to adjust to the setting. I can't say I'm happy being all alone by myself, but I can say that I am afraid of being alone. Keep in mind that this is a Summer Course so the college (or most colleges), is/are practically abandoned. I was pressured, or should I say, pressured myself into going to a college with a Summer course because of the situation with my family at home. Often times, I believed that I didn't deserve to live and all I could think about was intrusive thoughts of hurting myself or others because I felt like my situation was so dire. After graduating High School, I didn't get a chance to relax or take a break. I felt like I had to keep going and going until something happened, but no matter how hard I tried, the results were the same. When I went to BMCC at first, I was falling under an extreme depression because I was told that my mother would eventually sell the house and the two of us would move into the city. Unfortunately, that didn't work, so we had to rent an apartment that I only stayed for a week and couldn't handle the loneliness and you're probably asking: "Well, why go to a College by yourself if there's no people or activities nearby?" And to tell you the truth, it's because I felt that the longer I stayed at my parents' house, the more likely I will be delaying the inevitable. When my mother and I were driving, where the college was a 4 hour drive away from the house we moved in, we were discussing some stuff about the family and work (because almost all her employees quit due to the two aforementioned coworkers in another thread). Even though there isn't much to do during the Summer, I didn't want to burden her with anything else, because the college process was already stressful as it was/is and all I could think about is whether or not I'll make it. I just don't want to go back home again. I feel like this may be my 2nd and only chance.
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