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Everything posted by zdude954

  1. This fits under so many different ones, but not neatly. So I am just going to put it here and call it a day. Today I am going to run on the treadmill after work. I am going to run till I can't run anymore. Then I am going to do some leg weight training after my run, I am going to go till I physically can't anymore. To the point that I am struggling to walk to my vehicle, I want to hurt I want to feel the burn. I will go till I either just can't or till I pass out from exhaustion. Then tomorrow I will do upper body till I can't lift anything anymore. To the point that I am struggling to lift a 5 lb weight. Then maybe I will feel better maybe then I look better. Then I will repeat till I die from physical exhaustion, or I look the way I want to look. Maybe then people will look at me, maybe then someone will want to love me. If I die from it then so be it, it is what it is. I am also going to eat very little or nothing at all. So I lose weight too, force my body to use every once of energy I give it. I will lose the weight if I gain more back as muscle then great that's what I want. I would be happy with the weight I am if it was muscle weight. Not this fat horrible looking body I have now, but a leaner stronger body. Maybe then someone will want to love me. This choice maybe drastic but if this what it takes to get people to look at me and to get the body I want to have then. Then I will pay that price I will pay it in full. I skipped breakfast today and for lunch I had some sweet tea. Next time it will be unsweetened tea to cut out the sugar. I have set my mind on this. I have set my mind that if your not with me then your against me, that if you don't stand beside me the you are my enemy. Will protect the people I can, if I feel that I am about to hurt them or that I am then I will be hurting them then cut them from my life let remember me as I was not what I have become. I have cut all the dating sites out, I signed in and out of Facebook for the last time. The list of people standing beside me is shorter then the list of people who are not beside me. I will get the body I want and when I have it I will everything and anything to keep it. Maybe when I have the six pack and the rippling chest and bulging biceps. I want to have button ups that the buttons are struggling to stay buttoned, tee shirts that sleeves will not stay down the roll up every time I move my arm. Then I will have people look at me. Maybe then I will have people notice me. Maybe then someone will want to be with me. Maybe I won't be the monster I see when I look in the mirror. I will be a monster of a different kind. No one makes fun of the guy who looks like he can break you in two. Well if they do they don't do it to his face or anyplace he can hear.
  2. I woke up with seven minutes before having to be at work. I was only half hour late but I called in came up with an excuse why, they bought it. Lucky no one at work live near me so they believed it.
  3. I hold conversations with myself they can last 5 minutes or they can last for 2 hours.
  4. Harley Davidson tried to patient the sound they make. So that way no one else's could sound the same.
  5. These are my own thoughts. I feel that a compliment given by a random stranger means more then if given to you by a friend or family. When a friend or family member gives you a compliment they are being nice trying to make you feel better. Which has some weight to it. But let's say I walk up and say. I love what you have done with your hair, the color and the cut looks great on you. I feel that a completely random person that you have never met or seen before has more weight to. Because I did not have to say anything I could have just kept walking but I didn't I stop to give you that compliment. But negative things work in reverse. A random person walks up and says. That shirt looks horrible on you and it's an ugly color (but it's your favorite shirt). Yes it mean and not very nice, but you walk away thinking that person is mean and not very nice and you brush it off. But now a friend or family member says the same thing to you, now feel worse about it because they are suppose to care about you. They are suppose to be there for you to help you up when you need it. Now some people may look at that and say we'll they are trying to keep you from looking like that and getting made fun of. Well if that's how you feel then that's good keep feeling that way.
  6. Ethylene glycol the stuff found in antifreeze is/was also found in Mr. pibb. It may have been removed but at one point it was in there
  7. Shaftjacking It is a technical term used motorcycles that are shaft driven. When there is back and forth play in it is called shaftjacking. Very few are shaft driven.
  8. Blue shell incoming. I have the original mario kart.
  9. Checked something off my bucket list. Yes I am 25 but we do not know when are last day will be. So why wait till we are old to complete it. I caught a fish called a tiger musky (it has teeth), it was not a giant one but it was 40" long.
  10. Three piece cod dinner with fries house made tarter sauce
  11. Bigger displacement engine in my truck? I think yes
  12. Confused, I think I was just hit on by a women at work. But as a person who that has never happened to, I do not know if she was being nice or hitting on me. I feel like she was being nice my clothes are covered in grass. There is grass on my face and in my hair, I smell of gasoline and fresh cut grass and old spice, so I don't smell good. I think she was just being nice to me. I am just confused now and don't know what to do or say, but the moment is gone now. Wisteria, don't be afraid to be yourself. I have noticed you say you want to be loved, well maybe by being so conservative your causing your own lonelyness.(I don't have a lot of room to talk) I am not speaking for every guy, but I look for a women who is confident, who is not afraid to be herself, and who is unapologetic for who she is. Someone who is as comfortable with me as she is with her girls, who can literally tell me anything.
  13. FedEx says my new phone should be here today, so I am excited for that. But I have been mowing grass for four hours and I still have the other half to to go, so about another 1.5 to 2 hours to go. For 5-6 hours mowing and trimming the grass at work see why I hate it.
  14. I have to mow grass today, I hate mowing grass. So I feel hateful?
  15. Live in a log cabin Own classic muscle cars, you know the cool ones 66-72 area Find someone who loves me, 25 and have lost hope Kid like two or three, that way some day they can mow the grass Archery big game grand slam Great grandkids to spoil Tibetan mastiff dog, guard dog Travel to beautiful places
  16. Counting flowers on the wall -Statler brothers I've been hearin' you're concerned about my happiness But all that thought you're givin' me is conscience, I guess If I were walkin' in your shoes I wouldn't worry none While you and your friends are worryin' 'bout me, I'm havin' lots of fun Countin' flowers on the wall that don't bother me at all Playin' solitaire till dawn with a deck of fifty one Smokin' cigarettes and watchin' Captain Kangaroo Now don't tell me, "I've nothing to do" Last night I dressed in tails pretended I was on the town As long as I can dream it's hard to slow this swinger down So please don't give a thought to me, I'm really doin' fine You can always find me here and havin' quite a time Countin' flowers on the wall that don't bother me at all Playin' solitaire till dawn with a deck of fifty one Smokin' cigarettes and watchin' Captain Kangaroo Now don't tell me, "I've nothing to do" It's good to see you I must go, I know I look a fright Anyway my eyes are not accustomed to this light And my shoes are not accustomed to this hard concrete So I must go back to my room and make my day complete Countin' flowers on the wall that don't bother me at all Playin' solitaire till dawn with a deck of fifty one Smokin' cigarettes and watchin' Captain Kangaroo Now don't tell me, "I've nothing to do" Now don't tell me, "I've nothing to do"
  17. I feel very mixed glad because in two days I will be leaving for my vaca. But it's the part when I leave to came back I am already upset about. It's a place that would make a great place to take someone I love too. It is so pretty there, everywhere I have been to hunt or fish would make a great place to take someone. But nope not this year, as far as I can see not ever. Every year I hope that will change but every year ends up like the year before it. I feel I am really not going to enjoy my trip even though I have had it booked since last year. Wish everyone the best. Z
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