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zdude954

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Everything posted by zdude954

  1. The 2016 dodge viper has the biggest gas powered engine since ww2 clocking at a whooping 8.4L v10 that's 513 cubic inches (512.5) making 645 horsepower 600 torque
  2. Bleeding angle that is a dark but beautiful name welcome. So if this you then you must from Australia because its upside down. ( I am joking ) If your having trouble coping and dealing with things, don't be afraid to speak openly everyone on here is nice and caring. So welcome to DF a beckon of light for those lost in the darkness.
  3. Why do trees need thorns? I was garden shrub eating under one stood up to fast got stabbed in the head.
  4. One can of French cut green beans and a 10gr protein shake. That will be lunch and dinner
  5. Getting a phone call from work (hr) yelling at me (while tying to sound mean) telling me my schedule change and I better not show my face tomorrow. (I am now off)
  6. I now find kind of find it funny, one brings the idea from the reverse side, one goes left one goes right and one goes down the middle. The crazy part is I feel your all right in your own regards. Each of us is different each situation is different I was kind of looking for everyone's overall thoughts on the idea. Yeah I can see if you've been hurt enough by people that you only give them one chance too hurt you then your done, goodbye, see aye, have a nice life. That being the hardest one to take someone back, because they hurt you physically/emotionally. But I can see that they apologized for what they said and did that they are truly sorry for it. But for that I feel that can be the most situational on why they left. Like if it was an argument they walked away like that, but they cooled down saw it with a clear head then came back. That I can see being the easy to take someone back. I know I left out a lot of details in my case example, but I wanted to keep it shorter more to the point.
  7. Chevy's defines Camaro as a small vicious animal that hunts mustangs. I think that's dumb but I did not come up with it
  8. I take some pride that I was able to say it "out loud". But nothing changes the only thing that changed is I said it "out loud" I feel no different, I don't know what I expected to happen. But now by bringing it to light all it did was raise more questions. Questions I could say out loud but none of you can answer, ok well there are a few that can be helped with but I need to come to the answers myself. Like how long have I truly been hiding this from myself? I remember being like 15-16 and seeing my first prono with a Transgender women, I was not turned off I was more intrigued. Then after a few more the same year and I was becoming turned on by what I was seeing. But it left me feeling every confused because I like and am attracted to women. So I just remember being confused on what it meant. To be truthful I still don't know what to feel about it or what to think. Till you've done been there and done that your very scared. Well it does not help my anxiety runs at full throttle when I am with someone, man or women it runs the show till I get comfortable with them and even then it still runs the show. It has taken as little as 2 months or with the case of the guy it was with 6 months. It got to the point where they kind of forced me to make the fist move. So I expect it to be the same with them too. With my relationship history mixed with my anxiety, I am just so afraid to be in one. A friend told me not to be afraid because it just gives me more people to love and want to be with physical with and emotional with. Which he is not wrong he is right, but so many what if's come rushing to me. All it's doing is leaving scared and confused on what path I need to follow what door needs to be opened.
  9. Well hello, greetings and salutations. Welcome
  10. 9 I average 5.5 to 6. My average thought is why do I have to go to work?
  11. The 1964.5 (for technicality) is he fastest selling car in 3 months it sold over 300,000 car. Fords figures were projecting 100,000 in the first year not þe first month.
  12. Starting off no I would not like San Francisco, I do not like big city's they scare me. If it takes more then 25 minutes to go from edge to edge I don't like it. The people in the city that's a different story, the people I may like but the city it's self no. I feel the answer is No, the self-hatred is not because of the way I feel. I just hate my life. I have never been comfortable with what I look like. I feel your theory, is not 100 percent wrong but I feel it's not correct. I really like (how do I say it with sounding dumb or stupid) pre-op Transgender females. Don't get me wrong I still love and am attracted to women. But I don't know why but I really am getting more and more attracted to pre-op Transgender females. Well being judged/bullied most of your whole life you instantly fear what someone will say about you or your ideas. Thanks for having hope, I am glad to see someone does because I don't anymore. After being abandoned by people that say they love you and being used by someone who says they love you. Love as been the mask of pain and suffering for so long it makes it scary to try and get it. That's what i want most of all in this world to be loved. But I have given up I am now just surviving not living. Thanks but I just don't know how too.
  13. Why? Then I got on here before going to work saw was topic I started has three replies to it then became afraid. Thought I should not have said it, I should not have posted it. I still have not read them out of fear.
  14. This is scaring me to say this but this is about the safest place I can think of to say this out loud without be judged to badly. I hope that it makes me feel less nervous to feel this way, if one says anything that's cool I wanted try and say it. So here goes I love transgender women, I love everything about you. I have never been attracted to men, I have been with a man just to see. It was ok but I never felt satisfied after being with him. So because I was never truly satisfied with a man I would not say bisexual, I liked heteroflexible I fit best under that. But here the past year I have really, really started to like transgender women, I don't know if its because they can check off both boxes under the heteroflexible definition or what. But it's leaving with confused feelings inside. For the longest time I thought I was one way, but to all of a sudden thinking something else. I am not ashamed of it but I am scared to say it out loud, even thought people are being less judgmental. But there are still so many people that are, that is what makes me afraid to say it out loud yet. But just like everything else I am afraid to go after something I want because I hate myself, I hate the way look, I hate what I have done, I just hate my life. So why would anyone want to be with me, or say they know me. Well I have said what I wanted to say now comes the scariest part of all pressing submit, I am so nervous.
  15. Live without sadness Live without anxiety Live without being depressed live not survive
  16. So today after my torture work out I think I found one reason why I hate myself and my body so damn much. I was trying to dry off from my shower I forced myself to look at myself in the mirror. Well looking at myself what I saw besides the ugliness, I saw a women's body frame work. Slender shoulders, small wrists, shorter torso, wide hips, longer slender legs, (sender compared to the rest of me) knees slightly bowed inward (because of the wide hips). What I saw made me think that I am in the wrong body, that my body shows male but it was not suppose to be. There are many more reasons why I hate myself but what I saw is not helping. Maybe one day if I get brave and show my hideous face, but don't get high hopes the less people that see me the better. I even go to the gym when there is no one there so no one can see me.
  17. zdude954

    doorways

    Life is nothing but a bunch of doorways that you have to open and go threw. Sometimes it a few doorways, other times it's a lot of doorways. But once that door has been opened there is no going back you must go threw it. Some of them can be ignored but it does not go away it's still there. Some of those ignored doorways will follow you till you open them.
  18. Coffee, a few animal crackers, milk
  19. I want to see everyone's thoughts and opinions on this. Letting someone back in to your life that left you or abandoned you. They left you and now they want back in your life to be apart of it again. They want to be your friend again. Should you? If you do how many chances do you give them, or do you give a chance at all? Should you stop them right there? Example. I have/had a friend who left me standing all alone leaving with no one when I needed someone the most. It hurt so much that I deleted everything I had to get a hold of him. Months went by never heard from him nothing. Yesterday I get a text from him saying, how are you doing any better. Well not knowing the number and a new phone with an incomplete contacts list I said, who is this I am still transferring number and I do not know this number. The reply I got back was, just an old friend checking in on you. That told me very little then he said who it was. The first thing I felt was scared and sad. I did not know what think or do. He says he was using tough love that's why he left me. I do not know if I should take him back in my life or not yet. But it got me thinking what are your guys views on this kind of thing. It's an open discussion all views are welcome. Pro's con's of it.
  20. I did not do the treadmill I did the bike for two hours, and weights it hurts to walk up three steps, shower feels so good. I have only eaten 12 cheez-it crackers and sweet tea all day.
  21. 12 white cheered cheese crackers Sweet tea That's all I have had today
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