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samadhiSheol

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Everything posted by samadhiSheol

  1. Hi Just me 2 and thank you for the welcome! I'm thinking as everything is connected (at least in our minds) there's no such thing as off-topic...I'm also thinking that sharing our experiences is part of why we are here in the first place. Thanks for sharing your story with me! I'm a male also in my late 40's and though I don't have kids I can totally understand the concern you have. As I implied In my intro I'm not entirely sure whats wrong with me.. I've had anxiety since I've been a kid but it became more serious in my teens (bullying at school.. I told no one at the time). I've also had problems with sleeping since I was 11 or twelve. At the time I wasn't treated as I kept everything to myself. One of the (plethora of) downsides of being a guy in a macho-orientated culture.. Everything went out of proportion in my late thirties when I got severe panic attacks. By that time I had full blown insomnia and anxiety on a 24/7 basis. Eventually I was treated for work related fatigue, insomnia etc. After a period of trial and error(I went through some of the nastier side-effects of medication), I finally found a cocktail of meds that made my situation more bareable. For me the fact I could sleep more than 3 hours straight was a major relief. The downside was I gained 30 pounds of weight. Apparently that was acceptable. This was 12 years ago. I can't remember all the meds I was on, but citalopram and mirtazapine were part of my life the longest. After three years of psychtherapy, I realized I had been dissatisfied and lost most of my life.The thing is I still am. I haven't a clue who I really am or what I want. Currently the only medication I'm on is for reactive arthritis. It's not too much of a problem, but there are some activities I can't participate in due to pain and atrophy in various tendons. I'm at a crossroads in my life (yet again). It could be the fact I'm nearly 50. I haven't really achieved anything. I am continuously unhappy with myself and not sure at all am I living the life I'm supposed to live. I haven't slept properly for a year now and I'm going through the whole show again. I'm seeing another therapist, but I'm not sure it's going anywhere. Funnily enough, the fact that I am responding to someone who welcomed me in made my day. Thank you again, Just me 2! I'm feeling that much better. Apologies for any typos. I'm a native British who has lived abroad since childhood. And writing is not one of my strengths in any language..
  2. Hi, I'm new to support groups, but seasoned with various mental health issues. I'm not sure how this works so please be easy on me.. I've been challenged with insomnia, anxiety, depression and possibly ADD reccurrently in my life so I've experienced a lot of different treatment and been through a lot of various medication. I live inside my head most of the time and I read a great deal. I tend to lose myself and get overwhelmed easily as I don't get the chance to get stuff off my chest too often. I'm going through a rough patch again and decided to try something different, so here I am. I'm not entirely sure which forum I belong to, so any help will be appreciated! Take care!
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