Hi Just me 2 and thank you for the welcome!
I'm thinking as everything is connected (at least in our minds) there's no such thing as off-topic...I'm also thinking that sharing our experiences is part of why we are here in the first place. Thanks for sharing your story with me!
I'm a male also in my late 40's and though I don't have kids I can totally understand the concern you have.
As I implied In my intro I'm not entirely sure whats wrong with me.. I've had anxiety since I've been a kid but it became more serious in my teens (bullying at school.. I told no one at the time). I've also had problems with sleeping since I was 11 or twelve. At the time I wasn't treated as I kept everything to myself. One of the (plethora of) downsides of being a guy in a macho-orientated culture..
Everything went out of proportion in my late thirties when I got severe panic attacks. By that time I had full blown insomnia and anxiety on a 24/7 basis. Eventually I was treated for work related fatigue, insomnia etc.
After a period of trial and error(I went through some of the nastier side-effects of medication), I finally found a cocktail of meds that made my situation more bareable. For me the fact I could sleep more than 3 hours straight was a major relief. The downside was I gained 30 pounds of weight. Apparently that was acceptable.
This was 12 years ago. I can't remember all the meds I was on, but citalopram and mirtazapine were part of my life the longest.
After three years of psychtherapy, I realized I had been dissatisfied and lost most of my life.The thing is I still am. I haven't a clue who I really am or what I want.
Currently the only medication I'm on is for reactive arthritis. It's not too much of a problem, but there are some activities I can't participate in due to pain and atrophy in various tendons.
I'm at a crossroads in my life (yet again). It could be the fact I'm nearly 50. I haven't really achieved anything. I am continuously unhappy with myself and not sure at all am I living the life I'm supposed to live. I haven't slept properly for a year now and I'm going through the whole show again.
I'm seeing another therapist, but I'm not sure it's going anywhere.
Funnily enough, the fact that I am responding to someone who welcomed me in made my day.
Thank you again, Just me 2! I'm feeling that much better.
Apologies for any typos. I'm a native British who has lived abroad since childhood. And writing is not one of my strengths in any language..
Hi Just me 2 and thank you for the welcome! I'm thinking as everything is connected (at least in our minds) there's no such thing as off-topic...I'm also thinking that sharing our experiences is part of why we are here in the first place. Thanks for sharing your story with me! I'm a male also in my late 40's and though I don't have kids I can totally understand the concern you have. As I implied In my intro I'm not entirely sure whats wrong with me.. I've had anxiety since I've been a kid but it became more serious in my teens (bullying at school.. I told no one at the time). I've also had problems with sleeping since I was 11 or twelve. At the time I wasn't treated as I kept everything to myself. One of the (plethora of) downsides of being a guy in a macho-orientated culture.. Everything went out of proportion in my late thirties when I got severe panic attacks. By that time I had full blown insomnia and anxiety on a 24/7 basis. Eventually I was treated for work related fatigue, insomnia etc. After a period of trial and error(I went through some of the nastier side-effects of medication), I finally found a cocktail of meds that made my situation more bareable. For me the fact I could sleep more than 3 hours straight was a major relief. The downside was I gained 30 pounds of weight. Apparently that was acceptable. This was 12 years ago. I can't remember all the meds I was on, but citalopram and mirtazapine were part of my life the longest. After three years of psychtherapy, I realized I had been dissatisfied and lost most of my life.The thing is I still am. I haven't a clue who I really am or what I want. Currently the only medication I'm on is for reactive arthritis. It's not too much of a problem, but there are some activities I can't participate in due to pain and atrophy in various tendons. I'm at a crossroads in my life (yet again). It could be the fact I'm nearly 50. I haven't really achieved anything. I am continuously unhappy with myself and not sure at all am I living the life I'm supposed to live. I haven't slept properly for a year now and I'm going through the whole show again. I'm seeing another therapist, but I'm not sure it's going anywhere. Funnily enough, the fact that I am responding to someone who welcomed me in made my day. Thank you again, Just me 2! I'm feeling that much better. Apologies for any typos. I'm a native British who has lived abroad since childhood. And writing is not one of my strengths in any language..