I began experiencing first hand what life was really about.
You have to fend for yourself, at the very least learn to dodge when the s hit starts hitting the fan.
Bullied at school. Realizing I wasn't really smart after all. I wasn't good at anything. In fact I pretty much sucked at everything at school. But not enough that anyone would have been concerned.
Me? I was doing my best to avoid being bullied. Doing my best to just survive in classes of incomprehensible math, languages, school in general.
School and study never made much sense, to be honest.
God I hated being a teenager.
My only solace was music and
Kraftwerk was one of the early soundtracks of my life, my dreams, what I wanted to achieve.
I dreamt of space travel, theoretical physics, black holes, hyperspace and astronomy. I thought Einstein, Schrodinger, Hawking.
Oh and girls of course. A lot of dreams. Haha.
I listened to "Neon Lights" just a moment ago and realized I was crying.
I suddenly remembered my dreams vividly. I remembered what I hoped I'd become, what I hoped I would do. I remembered what I felt, how I felt. Alone and lost. But I had my dreams.
Dashed dreams, as they turned out.
Shimmering neon lights.